What Once Was
by vampwolf09
Summary: 16. Severed Remainders- "Oh good, I see you didn't completely break her." "What can I say? I like my dogs with a little fight in them." "Now, I must ask again. Have you accepted the offer, in which case I will in fact be your master?" "...Yes." OC
1. In Another Life

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Yay! I finally got enough guts to write my own fanfic… *cough*…This story is an OC story, but I tried to make her believable and it is placed after the war. There's a LOT of the character's mental conversation in this chapter. We'll have one side represented by ~, one by ^, and the one that really matters (the rational thinking voice that everyone has) represented by ***

**Warning: Contains some bad language**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story, except for the ideas and concepts I came up with… then again, those ideas are only there because of Hellsing so I guess I really don't own anything except this delicious homemade cookie cake. Try taking that away Hellsing! XP.. XD Also don't own any songs in this chapter.**

Chapter One: In Another Life

_YOU CAN'T RUN! And you can't hide…_

This was the same voice that had been haunting my dreams for the past month. Surprisingly enough; I usually have good dreams, due to a good imagination. Just… not thisgood. Or bad, whatever way you want to look at it. The things I've seen in these nightmares were horrifying, traumatizing. The kinds of things you see in gory fantasy/sci-fi/horror movies were the main aspects present in my mind for these past weeks; except these dreams were 100 times worse, beyond imagination. What was the worst part? I'm 15. I shouldn't be this disturbed. I don't watch those kinds of movies to get the ideas from. Nothing happened to me that would trigger these more than bothersome images, at least not any that I've thought of yet. I go to an ordinary school, in a well off neighborhood. My parents are average on the wealth scale, with a comfortable amount of money, which is made from their depressing jobs, so I hear. I mean, the most depressing thing to me is school; and honestly, what teenager in their right mind likes school? Sure, I have fewer friends than a rock, but I'm sure plenty of kids are like that in the world right? Out of the couple billion people in this world there's bound to be another total outcast… just not in my school… or my neighborhood. That seems to actually be what depresses my parents the most; that I'm growing up like this.

So it isn't the dreams that bother me as much (though I could definitely do without them) as what brought them on.

Then again I-

_Perfect by nature_-

What the…?

_Icons of self indulgence…_

_Grace! I'm not going to tell you again! GET UP! You'll be late for school! Don't make me drag you out of bed! I need to be out of here in 20 minutes; I have to go to WORK!_

Now waking up I'm sure very few people actually like. What's worse though is when you don't even know you're sleeping. So you wake up feeling like all you did all night is lay in your bed. Then your mom yells at you to get up and you're all disoriented and like, "I'm asleep?" However, I can't say I was disappointed that I missed the nightmares, even if it was just for one night. This was the first time without nightmares since they started.

Blinking my eyes, chasing off the sleep that threatened to take me back, I realized what actually brought me back to consciousness was one of my favorite Evanescence songs, Everybody's Fool. The meaning of the song is really deep, too. Pretending to be someone you're not, fooling everyone; just be yourself. I gave a mental sigh. I needed to take its advice... I reached to shut the alarm clock off only to find my head was at the bottom of the bed again. I sighed again and turned it off and flicked the side lamp on. I blinked my eyes yet again until they adjusted.

Another day to get up without motivation. Another day to go to school where I'm neglected friendship. Another day to stare out the windows thinking there's GOT to be something better out there. Another day to come home to a caring family, which is good until they ask me how my day was. Another day to answer the question, and then sit through the same lecture that changes so little every day. Another night to go to sleep. Another night to suffer the ever-growing nightmares. Another morning of waking up, just to start it all over.

"I said HURRY UP!" my mom screamed at me, which I was still sitting half-way upright in bed. _Why? So you can head off to a job that will eventually be the death of you?_

"OKAY MOM! JEEZ!"

Getting ready was a blur. Take a (quick) shower, get dressed, brush hair, brush teeth, put eyeliner on (not that anyone ever notices and/or cares), get backpack, and gather books and the homework that takes up most of my life. Taking one last look in the mirror, I still didn't know why people made fun of my looks. I know I'm not the most beautiful thing in the world, but I look better than many of the people that pick on me. That little bit, at least, was the result of endless mental self-esteem building; I wasn't entirely sure if I really looked good or not, for the same reasons I was no longer reliable when my mom asks if "that dress makes her butt look fat". I just don't know. After making sure I was presentable enough to convince myself they're lieing when they make fun of me for my looks, I headed out the door. In case you're wondering, I think about that a lot. Yup, I'm in a rut.

My mom was in the car getting ready to honk again when she saw me coming out the door. Getting in, she practically yelled, "What is the matter with you? I'm going to be an hour late! If you're going to get ready so slow get up and go to bed earlier!"

"Gee, mom. I didn't know you cared so much," I said with sarcasm. "But you're forgetting that the reason I stay up late is to get my HOMEWORK done!" I said back, my voice rising with each word so by time I reached the end of the sentence, I was yelling back with just as much force.

"Which leaves me wondering, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FAILING? If you do your homework, shouldn't you be passing?"

"Homework is just a small portion of it, mom." I really don't like it when we fight; it just always makes me feel like I'm losing yet another person in my suckish life.

"So, what? You just sit in school everyday staring at the clock?"

"No…"

"Do you goof off the entire time?"

"With whom do you think I would do that with, mom? My imaginary friend Bob?"

My mom sighed heavily in frustration, still keeping her eyes on the road. "I'm just trying to figure why your grades are suffering, Grace."

My used-to-be best friend flashed in my mind before the horror images took over.

"…Maybe it's because I am…" I said very soft, hoping that she wouldn't hear, but at the same time hoping that she caught my murmur.

"…Grace," she started out softly, "what's bothering you? Is it because of Carly…? Grace sweetheart, I know it's hard, truly I do. But it will hurt less if you make new friends." Oh no, I wasn't planning to have this lecture again until tonight. I don't think I'd be able to handle it twice in the same day…

"No mom. I mean… maybe a little… It's just that the nightmares-" I cut myself off realizing that I had slipped up. I wouldn't care if she knew I had nightmares if she didn't always poke and prod to get more information, so if I didn't find a way to stop this conversation from going further I'd be shipped off to therapy. Therapy, I'm sure, wouldn't be too bad; but with me I wouldn't be surprised if I came out more mental than when I went in. Sometimes like asking a question and the answer only bringing up more questions than you started with. That, and I needed some sense of… satisfaction I guess you could call it, that I was still normal and not entirely crazy.

I was about to open my mouth to cover up my mistake when mom said, "Gracie, I told you that watching that Nightmare on Mel Avenue would give you bad dreams. It's in the name for Christ's sake."

I looked at her in bewilderment. "What?"

"Nightmare on Mel Avenue, you know with that Freddy Krikey?"

"… Nightmare on ELM STREET? With Freddy KRUEGER?"

"Oh. Yes, that's the one."

"Mom I didn't—you know what, screw it. I should have listened to you; it scared the crap out of me."

"That's my girl, it feels good to tell the truth, doesn't it?"

By this time, we were in the school parking lot. I started to get out when Mom said, "I'm glad we worked this out Grace, I hate leaving on off terms. Love you! Oh, and watch that mouth of yours, no wonder you're not making friends!" Yup, love her dearly, but that was called in to question a bit when I heard the snickers of some by standing eavesdroppers.

"Hey, you watch your fucking mouth, deary! You'll never make friends like that!" one of them shouted. Ugh, last thing I need is the in crowd making fun of me when I'm not even 5 seconds up the sidewalk. Mom got it all wrong, too. I might actually have friends if I cursed a few people off and bullied a few more of the other nerd kids. Not saying the chance is big (say around 1% chance?) but still. Eh, it's not like me to do that, anyways. Sorry nerd kids, looks like you'll get the merciless toilet dunk from someone else.

In first hour science I was doing what I normally did: staring out the window, thinking, and taking the occasional glance at the clock. Mom came pretty close to guessing what I do every day. It's a wonder how I always get away with this stuff. All the while, I think the rest of the class was learning about cells.

That aside, I let my mind travel its own course, thinking about random things until I started thinking about earlier when my alarm went off and when I started thinking about the song meaning. How you shouldn't pretend to be someone you're not.

_Yeah, well, at least if you pretended just a bit people wouldn't think that you're a freak. God! ~_

_Oh yeah? How exactly how were you planning on pretending? You're shy enough to pass off the thought that you'll die if you talk to someone. Or worse, that you'll kill them, especially with the faces you wear. ^_

_Oh, shut up! And excuse me for trying to get a better social life. You're so useless, and only you would know how to get your own self esteem levels in the negatives in one minute. ~_

And so the mentally insane person starts arguing with herself, to accomplish what? WHO KNOWS? Not her.

That's when I stepped out of my reverie to do some rational thinking.

_Great, I'm arguing with myself. Again. This is really starting to get extremely scary. First, your one and only best friend moves1. And then, to make things creepier, that's when the nightmares started… Oh wait. *_

There it is! Man, I've been trying to find why the nightmares started ever since they got out of hand. It was right there in front of me! Jeez, I must be insanely stupid.

A_ctually, I wouldn't put it against you, with the insane part. You argue with yourself, both in thought and speech, you're anti-social, your grades are slipping, and you've been cracking up for no reason, and that is not normal, especially when a main character on T.V. dies.^_

_All reasons why you have no friends. You really are a piece of work, you know that? Your best friend was your best friend because she was obsessed with the same things you are. You both sat at the wacko nerd table at lunch.~_

_-Sigh- I'm insane because Carly moved. The nightmares don't help, either. God knows where what mom would do if I really told her about the… images. She'd send me away for therapy at the very least. "It's because I love you." Heh, the universal excuse for covering up bullshit. I mean, I know she does, but still.*_

_No, you're only assuming it's because Carly moved that you "went insane" and the nightmare's started. You have no idea what the real reason is. ^_

_Don't you two have places to be? *_

_-In unison- No. ^~_

_Great. And by the way, you sound like you know what you're, err… "talking" about, so how 'bout it? What do you know that I don't? *_

Silence.

_WOW. I'm interrogating my own mind for things I know for certain I don't know. Like I would come up with an answer just by asking myself. Right.*_

At that moment, I heard a deep, low, gruff, and hushed male voice, so quiet it seemed like it was so far gone, in some kind of lost memory. If I weren't really listening for the possible answer to my earlier question, I don't think I would have heard it. What's more, the voice sounded familiar, comforting… it was talking to me endearingly. To ME. No one but my parents talk to be like that.

_"If you only knew, If only I could tell you. Everything would be different."_

**A/N: So there we have it, first chapter. Please Review, I am in need of constructive criticism, since this is the first story I've ever written.I usually don't write because at school it's all boring stuff. But I had this idea and I couldn't get it out of my head. So, I know the story is slow right now, many first chapters are, but I left a few things to confuse you, so please keep with it ^^;;. **

**So, if any of you want me to continue writing, please review! Thanks!**

**1.-I know the friend moving away thing is sorta cliché but it still happens. Plus I'm building up for something. :D**

**REVIEW PLEASE**


	2. Unfolding

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Hey! I only got one review but I liked it so I'm writing this earlier than I thought. Also, the last chapter didn't really leave a whole lot to get involved in, so here this is.**

**Like I said, I left many things to confuse you, and some of those things will remain confusing for a little while, just because I'm mean and I don't want you to know yet and it will ruin it if you found out too early. Also, this chapter is relatively sad at some points, but it's necessary to get the point across. Anyways, talk to you at the bottom! **

**Warnings: Some bad language, some gory 'scenes' and sad content**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing****, though it would be awesome if I could.**

Chapter Two: Unfolding

I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. The sound of the voice sounded extremely familiar; though I was sure I had never heard it before. Also, the way it had sounded comforting baffled me. It was somewhat like being calmed by the reassurance of a complete stranger. And then there was the part how it felt like a memory. Either I had now completely lost it or… something else.

Speaking of strangers, something outside the window and the whispers coming from the desks behind and to my left brought my focus back to reality. I turned slightly, to hear what they were saying a bit better, because I was sure their quiet conversation had something to do with the figure outside the window, across the school parking lot standing on the sidewalk, faced in our direction.

"It looks as if he's just waiting for something, and I don't mean street crossing clearance," Danielle, one of the popular kids, said almost sounding a bit scared.

"I know, and if I didn't know any better I'd say he's looking right into our classroom…"

"What, are you scared, Rachel? Honestly, it's probably some old guy wishing that he could go back to school instead of going to work or something. The poor old clueless bastard," I think the kid's name that said this was Clare. Hearing Clare say this dimmed whatever was left of my respect for the in crowd. Who calls someone they don't know a bastard just for standing? Both Clare and Danielle laughed anyways while Rachel looked sheepish, when the teacher snapped,

"Having side conversations, are we? Tell me, what is so important that it can't wait until after class?" Heh, it never ceases to amaze me how teachers, especially Mr. Thomas, always seem to be able to sneak up on you unnoticed and then scare the crap out of you when you're doing something you shouldn't.

"Uh…"

"Mr. Thomas, there's a person outside looking at the school. He's been there for the last ten minutes," one of the other students said, saving the three girls.

Mr. Thomas walked in front of my desk to get a better view. I saw his eyes narrow a bit in suspicion and then he walked over to his desk casually and dialed the office. His conversation with the school secretary was soon drowned out with the now rising chatter of the classroom, either talking about the current situation or taking advantage of the moment to talk aimlessly about whatever.

Not really caring about the other conversations, I turned my attention back towards the window and was taken back with surprise.

He was gone.

_But he was just there five seconds ago… _Now, you couldn't see him- or her, it wasn't close enough to tell- anywhere, and being on the second level of the school, you'd think you'd see him at least walking to his next destination.

I got up out of my seat and took the one step necessary to be right next to the window to get a better inspection of the surrounding area, only to confirm my suspicion that he was nowhere in sight. Getting back to my seat, the intercom came on announcing that there was 'a stranger in the perimeter, and that the school would be going on lockdown'. By this time the teacher had locked the classroom door and gotten the class's attention to continue on with the lesson that I'm sure few would pay attention to. Just before turning back to the chalkboard, he took a glance at the window and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, causing the rest of the class to turn and see what caused his reaction.

Once again, I was surprised. Not because this person had come back to his spot, but because he had brought a 'friend'. Just before Mr. Thomas started taking a step back towards his desk  
(I assume to report another unknown person on the school's perimeter) the two people started walking down the sidewalk, away from the school, and you could, if you were trying, barely make out the occasional glance back towards the school building.

The rest of the day was as boring as usual, the only interesting thing being picking up the frequent rumors about the morning's eventful visitors and listening to see how the story had already changed. I think I even heard one of the kids saying that the stranger took a step towards the school before turning around and returning to the other mysterious person. Later on I heard another rumor of a similar story except the only difference was that the stranger had a knife. Where do people come up with this crap? For all we know, they could have been fellow high schoolers playing hooky.

Around the end of 8th hour though, I got a text from mom on my ancient (barely new enough to have text that I never use) cell phone.

_-Somthins com up. Cant pick u up. Will u take the bus?_

…_Mom has horrible text speak skills _I thought while I texted back:

_-No, dont feel like dealing with others. I'll walk._

_-But its cold out, youll get sick._

_-Mom, I walk 3/5 days a week. It's not that far, and it's only 40 degrees._

_-Ok, well you know how to reach me if you need anything._

_-Yeah, Ill call you when I get home._

As I shut my phone, the bell rang. Just as I was about to give a sigh of relief that another boring day was over, Mr. Thomas (I have him for both first and last hours) came up and said,

"Miss Rockwell, do you mind telling me why you had your cell phone out for the last 15 minutes?" I scowled at the use of my last name, but quickly recomposed myself to answer his question.

"Not at all, Mr. Thomas. My mom had texted me telling me she wouldn't be able to pick me up and I texted back saying I would walk home. It was simply a case of motherly worry." I grinned at his slightly surprised expression I always got from my teachers when they talked to me. I don't think it's every year they get a kid that fails class but is as polite as if they lived in one of the more 'obedient' eras.

"Very well, then. Take caution on your short trip home, especially with the people we saw outside."

"I will, but I'm sure they are both long gone by now."

With a slight nod he walked away, and I resumed packing up so I could get out of this god forsaken prison they call school. Walking up to the parking lot, I kept my head down and away from the groups of kids who still hadn't gotten on the bus or were standing by their cars looking like they owned the place (which really wasn't something I would boast about, not here anyway.).

I started my trek up the hill that many of the kids took when walking home, seeing as there was a neighborhood that a lot of us went to on the other side. Once at the top I turned away from the path the other kids had taken, them going left and I going right, to the short cut (about two minutes through trees) that made the walk home about ten minutes shorter. Nobody besides me ever took this route, I don't know why either. You could hardly call it woods, as soon as you went in you came back out the other side. You can ask Carly who was hesitant to go through the first time when she came over to my house. She didn't think anything of it after that. The worst thing I ever saw in here was a little coyote that ran away as soon as it saw me.

I laughed at the thought of this being one more thing used to call me different. A group of kids saw me going through here once, and they called out, "Going home to you den, huh outcast?" Ugh, I hate them so much.

One minute in the trees and I thought I saw movement in the corner of my eye. I turned casually, not breaking my stride, and didn't see anything. I shrugged off that and the feeling of someone watching me and kept walking; soon breaking the barrier between the trees and the last five minutes it took to get to my house.

_It was probably just a squirrel or something._

_-Sigh- That little 'incident' with the strangers was probably the most exciting thing that's happened at school since that bomb scare._

I laughed at the thought of someone writing 'Bomb at 2:30' on the bathroom walls.

_Ha-ha, the whole school stood outside for an hour, and then when it was 2:30 a bunch of kids screamed, 'BOOM!' The ones who wrote 'bomb' on the stalls are in juvi now, at least that's what the rumors say._

By time I thought this I had approached my house, subconsciously got the keys out and went inside. So I was a little taken back when I noticed the change in my surroundings.

_Oh well, better call mom so she doesn't worry like she always does. Wouldn't be the first time she 'almost called the cops' because I forgot to call her. _

I chuckled a bit at the memory as I dialed her number, listened to the dial tone and the ringing, and finally the predicted voicemail.

_Please leave a message at the 'beep'. I will return your call. [BEEP]_

_Hey, mom, I'm home. Soo… I'll see you when you get here. Love ya, bye. [END]_

I sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time today, before going to my room to do my homework.

It was around 8:00 by time I finished all of my homework, and I was stunned my mom wasn't back yet.

_Must have been a really big something that came up to keep her three hours extra. I wonder what's going on…_

Instead of worrying about it too much, I decided to make some desert for tomorrow, since supper was pretty much out of the question by now. Apple Crumble, Dad's favorite. I wasn't worrying about him like mom because sometimes his job required him to do a partly nightshift, and I could just feel this was going to be one of those times, so this was going to perk him right up (he always seemed to come back cranky and jittery after one of his nightshifts).

After the 45 minutes it takes to make apple crumble, I put it away for tomorrow and looked, yet again, at the clock.

9:00. Of course I wasn't surprised with the time as much as I was with mom not being back yet.

_She's never this late, at least not without telling me… _Just then the phone rang and I was relieved to see the caller ID.

_Mom? I was just about to call you, I was getting worried…_

_Not now, Grace, I need you to be ready, I'm coming to pick you up. _Since I had never heard her do this before, I wasn't sure… but it sounded as if she had been crying.

_...Sure, but where are we going? Are you okay?_

There was silence and I could hear her uneven breathing and stifled sobs.

_Mom? Mom please answer, you're scaring me…_

_We're going to the hospital Grace. _She finally said, and my eyes went wide with shock (feels like that's happened a lot today) and confusion.

_Why?! Are you okay?_

_Yes, Grace, I'm fine… but I don't know if your father's going to make it…_

I almost dropped the phone, and I quickly said bye before reassuring her I'd be ready. I didn't let out any emotion, there wasn't a point. Yes I was suffering, and my mom knew I was too. But if I showed how much I was really hurting, I don't think my mom would be able to stand it.

The ride to the hospital was silent. I didn't know what had happened, why it had happened, or even how it had happened. I didn't ask any of these questions; I knew either she would tell me when she was ready or I'd figure it out for myself. My questions were shortly answered though, but not through words. Through action, intuition, and observation.

While we were in the waiting room, waiting to be told we could go in to see how he was doing (and possibly, though with all of my strength I hoped against it, to say goodbye), I saw the most gruesome scene on the television (at least the most gruesome I've seen in reality). There was a town on the screen, and I'm sure I'd be able to tell what town it was if it hadn't looked like an abandoned warzone. The windows in almost every building were broken, all the doors were punched in, blood was splattered on the ground of what looked like a road, and a few guns were lying on the ground along with the occasional crater of what I could only assume the result of a small explosion. There were a few people moving in the scene, they were in uniform, though not any uniform of an army I've ever seen. The moving people could be split into two groups: people that were alive and trying to get their wounded or dead out of wherever they were; and then there were the wounded and the dead themselves. I almost cried out of horror when I saw the wounded men, some that didn't have a few limbs, others that were probably shot, seeing as you could only see blood stains, all who were screaming bloody murder in terror and agony. My stomach lurked when the camera moved and I saw a glimpse of a headless body before someone said 'Get that off camera!'

There was another crying mom looking the T.V. that had the same face of horror I'm sure I showed, covering the eyes of her daughter that couldn't be more than five years old, whom was trying to pry her mother's hand away from her eyes playfully.

And then I looked at my mom. I almost burst into tears when I saw the look on her face. She was looking at the television with just as much horror as me, and then some. That's how I got my answer.

I had never known my father's occupation. Whenever I was young, I'd ask him to go to school for career day, but he would always refuse saying,

"Awe, you don't want me there. I'll have the most boring job; the other dads will make fun of me." He would joke the last part, I would insist though, asking how a job would be so boring that a kid wouldn't want their dad with them on bring-your-dad-to-school day. He would just ruffle my hair, and hug me tight.

"Always wanting more information, just like your mother."

I don't think he knew the hurt and embarrassment it caused the outcast at school, to be the only person who's father didn't 'bother' to show up. They would make fun of me sometimes, saying things like how he must not love me enough or he was too embarrassed to be in the same room as me.

Now I know why he couldn't go. And as if to confirm it, two people in the same uniform with covers over their arm patches walked by. They wore the same uniform as those on the T.V. Worse; they gave my mother a look of sorrow, loss, and sympathy, right before turning their focus to me, showing me the same look, and continuing out the doors.

The nurse finally told us and the other mom to follow her, and I soon realized it was because the other mom was probably married to someone like my dad. I could see the look in her eyes, debating whether or not to bring her child with her, afraid that the state of her husband would be too much for the five year old to handle. I could then see she made up her mind, deciding the least she could do was allow a final goodbye, and took her child's hand gingerly, before leading her after the nurse. Mom and I soon followed after. I didn't know if I'd be able to handle this myself, so I spent the two minute walk to my father's room, and quite possible deathbed, mentally and physically preparing myself for the worst.

What if, one of the few people you had known your whole life, dies without warning? What if you didn't know why? What if you were really close to them… what if you weren't strong enough to say your last goodbye? I don't really know how life would be like without him. It's just one of those things that when you're young, you don't think that it happens to you, thatit happens to everyone else but you are immune. Waking up from those childish thoughts of security will be the death of me.

Right before entering the room my dad occupied, I hesitated at the doorway, trying to picture what awaited me, before my mom took my hand as gently as the other mom had taken her child's hand, hugged me, and led me into the room.

I soon realized nothing could have prepared me for this sight. My father, once hansom, fair skinned, and lively, looked little more than a corpse with shallow breathing. I stood there for a minute trying to decide if this man was really my father, while my mom went to his side and gently took his hand and whispered something I couldn't quite catch. I just stared at my father's state of being, listening to the muffled sobs of the other mother and quiet whimper and whine the child made trying to get her father's attention. All the while, I heard the beeping the heart monitor hooked up to my dad made.

I finally approached my father's stilled figure, going to the other side of his 'bed' so I could take his other hand. He noticed this and smiled at me, both with love and caution, as if he knew what I had found out.

"I'm so sorry I had to lie to you."

I furrowed my brow in frustration and confusion at this. "Not telling me anything can't really be called lieing, dad."

A nurse came in and set what I assumed were my dad's and the other mans uniform next to the side tables each bed had.

He made another sad, half hearted smile. "But keeping that secret isn't really feeling all that worth it now," he said, stuttering the last part, and adding a cough to the end.

"You did what you had to, honey," my mother pitched in, tears now freely rolling town her paled cheeks.

"Mhm," my dad murmured, tears now welling up in his eyes as well. His hand came up to my face to wipe away the tears I hadn't noticed until now.

"You both are so beautiful," he laughed weakly. "My beautiful girls."

Just then the other mom let out a small shriek, followed by the single monotone, lasting beep indicating that the other man occupying this room had slipped into a permanent, altered oblivion, to join god and to wait however long it took for his two loves.

"Grace," my father's voice brought my attention back to him, "Do not go looking for it."

I guess when he saw me look over to his uniform; he realized I would want to know whom he 'belonged' to. He wasn't wrong. As soon as the sadness wears off a bit, that's exactly what I intended to do.

"Promise me you won't."

"Now that's not fair dad. When I was young, you promised me you wouldn't be leaving anytime soon."

He gave a sad chuckle. "You can never control when you're leaving Grace. It was my time."

"But it didn't have to be! You didn't have to go!" I screamed, now crying non-too quietly.

"Somebody had to. I don't regret it, either."

"How could you not regret it?!"

"If I didn't go, someone else that might have had a kid younger than you would have, I know. I've been there, done that."

I glanced up at my mom, hoping that she might back me up before I apprehended that it didn't matter, what he could have done didn't matter anymore, and I didn't want to spend his last moments arguing with him.

He sighed, and winced at the pain it caused him. "Please, just promise me you won't go looking for it."

A part of me wanted to give in and promise him, and keep it. Another wanted to promise him and then go ahead and look anyways. Neither was acceptable, so I did the only thing I could do.

"I can't promise you that, dad. You know I can't."

He let out another sigh, this time it didn't seem to cause him pain. "I didn't think you would. Then can you at least promise me you'll keep yourself as safe as you can?"

I hesitated for a moment. What does looking for his… 'employment' have anything to do with being safe? Well, I guess that's a question for another time.

"I can do that. I promise."

"That's my girl." He looked like he was having a lot of trouble keeping his eyes open. He turned to my mom and said, "I'm really tired," he sounded like he was asking permission… another tear fell when I understood the meaning.

"Then sleep dear, they're waiting for you," my mother replied, tears cascading out of her eyes and down her cheeks.

"I'll wait for you, both of you," he said, "I love you."

"I love you too," my mom replied, and I was about to do the same but I couldn't find my voice.

I don't think he heard her though. His eyes had closed, and the tone of his heart monitor indicated that he was gone.

I didn't miss the figure grinning wickedly outside the window, vanishing just as suddenly as it had come.

**A/N: Sooo sad D,X. But it was necessary. Notice I didn't really let you get to know the dad, that way it would be easier to let him go. It's harder to let someone go that you've become attached to. I'd go on with this chapter, but it seemed like it was getting too long as it is. There was also less reference towards herself that she was insane, but she was pretty preoccupied the whole chapter. There is only a little Hellsing reference now, but I think it will pick up a bunch in either the next or 4th chapter. By the way, the school lay out is actually the way my school is, though I've never really walked home before… wait… once on a half day. I walk to friends houses more than anything. Also, the bomb scare thing was true. Funny thing, too. Got the school out of testing for a day. I was one of those people that yelled BOOM. Anyways, thanks for reading and please please please, Review! Anonymous reviews are also welcomed, just want criticism and feedback.**

**REVIEW **


	3. New Life

**What Once Was**

**A/N: I'm back with another update! :D I'm going to try to make updates weekly things by the way, unless I feel like posting or get lots of reviews demanding otherwise. I didn't really feel like searching the whole of England for a 'location' that looks like it could be better off, so I made one up. Please just live with it. In this chapter we see how Grace is coping with her life and a little more, though I'm not going to say that here, and we get some song filler :D. Other than that I have nothing to say until you get to the bottom. Until then! :D**

**Warning: Some bad language, sad themes**

**Disclaimer: … I really don't get why I do these every chapter, you read the first chapter, you get the point that I don't own anything. I'm just that poor D;. So starting now, if you absolutely MUST see a disclaimer for some deranged reason, check the preceding chapters. This will count for the last:  
I own nothing. I never will, and for every chapter, that won't change.**

**Happy Reading. :)**

Chapter 3: New Life

It's been six months since that night that my father passed away in that hospital bed. Six months that my mother and I have used to try to heal, but it's no use. It's not the same.

With Dad gone, every corner mom and I turn there's something to remind us he's no longer alive. First there was the uniform that we had to carry out of the hospital, which now collects dust in some storage/memory area in the attic. Then there was the arrangement of the funeral; though I wasn't sure my mom did much of that. The only time I saw her planning was when we went to a church to ask the pastor if we could have the funeral there. Then there was the actual funeral, not just for my dad, but for all the people that died the same way he had. There were some people at the funeral that had the same uniforms on. They did that thing where they shoot off their guns and everything, but when I went to get a closer look, the patches on their arms (that's supposed to have the name of their 'organization') was covered up. Unfortunately, we didn't stay very long, so I didn't get much information on who he worked for. Mom quickly pulled me out, and when we got back home I tried to check his uniform, hoping that I'd be able to get an answer. I hadn't been able to check it out; mom caught me trying to get to the attic, and yelled at me, and told me to never go up there. She's been keeping her eye on me after that.

Apparently, the people who 'owned' father paid him a fairly big amount of cash to risk his life on a daily basis; ironically it didn't pay off. A few months after the funeral, the pay that dad got wore off, and we started getting huge bills. My mom's had to work even longer hours, I hardly ever see her. I've had to walk to and from school, once I had to take the bus home. It was _horrible. _As soon as I got on the bus, they started making cracks like, "What, did you forget where you live, freak?" and then some other comments that I'm not going to repeat. Mom now leaves the house at around 6:00am, and she doesn't get back until around 8:30pm, and that's not the worst part.

Last month, my mom received a bill in the mail. It was for the house, and my mom wasn't able to cover it. She tried taking a loan out, but they refused her seeing as she still owed a few other loans. So packing has been the biggest reminder of all.

I'm not even sure of where we're moving; only that it's going to be a big down-grade. We had just finished packing, so I guess my question will be answered soon enough. I did hear a little bit of my mom's conversation on the phone though, so I think we're going to somewhere named 'Whinston'. Most likely a town somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

Packing the last of the boxes into the moving truck, I really couldn't believe my luck. The one I was holding contained things from the attic; including my father's uniform. I would have thought mom would handle these personally as to make sure I didn't, guess the stress is really starting to get to her… I put this box in the truck in a place I wouldn't forget and made a mental note to get to it before anyone else. I was hoping that I wouldn't be in the dark for much longer, therefore lessening the misery; even if it was only a small amount.

"Grace! Are you ready to go?"

"Hold on, mom!" I replied, dashing back into the house. My mom always had that sorrowful edge to her voice now since dadwas always on her mind, though people who didn't know her like I did couldn't sense it. Scanning each room to make sure I hadn't left anything behind, I thought about what everything that had happened in the past months. The nightmares had only increased, but now dad's face haunted them. I had gotten a letter from Carly saying how everything was going. I sent one back, telling her the news about my father and the fact we're moving. I hadn't gotten one back, though. I thought about the funeral until my contemplation was interrupted by my mom coming from outside.

"Grace! Come on we have to go!"

"I'm almost done!" I called back.

Swiftly but efficiently checking the rest of the rooms, I only found one thing that I almost left behind. My iPod, lying on the ground charging. This may have been one of the only things I would have cried about leaving behind. I ran back outside and hopped into the truck.

"'Kay, ready," I said, giving a half hearted smile and waving the iPod.

Mom gave me a semi-stern look. Seems like she does a lot of things half way these days, not saying I'm much better. She then said, "Now Grace, you're lucky you looked again. If you had left that behind, I never would have heard the end of it."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes mom, but I _did_ check, and it _didn't_ get left behind. So there really isn't anything to say about this."

She nodded, giving in, and started driving to our 'new' home. I, in turn, knowing that this place was around three or four hours away, put the ear buds from my ready iPod in and turned it on shuffle. The first song to come on was _My Tourniquet_ by _Evanescence_ (don't worry; I have more than just this band on my iPod). I laid my head back as the song started.

_I tried to kill the pain  
But only brought more  
(So much more)__My God, my tourniquet  
Return to me salvation  
My God, my tourniquet  
Return to me salvation_

I lay dying and I'm pouring  
Crimson regret  
And betrayal

I'm dying, praying  
Bleeding, I'm screaming  
"Am I too lost to be saved?  
Am I too lost?"

Do you remember me?  
Lost for so long  
Will you be on the other side?  
Or will you forget me

My mind started wandering back to my thoughts from before my mom interrupted. The funeral… There had to be something there that would give me some sort of lead… just in case the uniform didn't. I thought for a few minutes when the song started ending.

My wounds cry for the grave  
My soul cries for deliverance  
Will I be denied Christ?  
(Christ)  
Tourniquet, my suicide

Heh, as much as I loved this song, it always surprised me how depressing it was. But then again, Amy Lee is sort of 'disturbed' herself.

The next song came on, _Thanks for the Memories _by _Fall Out Boy_.

This time I didn't really listen, I was too fixated on my thinking. I went back to the memory, trying to pick anything out that would help.

_***Flashback***_

_Sounds of crying mothers, sons, daughters, and any other family member could be heard in the currently densely populated cemetery. The priest was saying a speech for the dead, how they will always be remembered and missed. I wasn't really paying attention though. I was too busy looking for some clue as to what association my father was in. All I saw were people who were crying; the family members already mentioned. There were also the… let's call them soldiers, since that's what they seem to be, and it isn't a half bad label to remember dad by. The soldiers were all lined up behind the newly dug graves with caskets, behind who I assumed was their commanding officer. They moved suddenly and shot off their guns, to show respect for their fallen. _

_There was someone who fell out of the ordinary of the crowd though. She was standing to the side of one casket, facing the long row head on, apart from the crowd. This isn't what made her odd, though. She was the only one besides the soldiers that wasn't crying. She was beautiful, yet she struck me with fear. Her long, blond hair blew in the slight wind, and her glasses were reflecting the sunlight, giving it an eerie effect. She looked at the caskets with remorse. There was also a hidden emotion… anger? If it was anger, it wasn't toward the dead, that's for sure. Could it possibly be towards the events that caused the deaths that she was angry at? _

_***End Flashback***_

I realized why this woman looked this way; or rather I hoped I had. She was probably associated with the company my dad was in. Not a soldier, but she had to be involved in some way. My mom seemed to know her. Right before she had dragged me back to the car, I caught her talking to this person, and the woman was obviously trying to comfort her, my mom showed little to know sign of comfort back, so I assume that she wasn't family related to any of the dead people. This woman had to be connected in some way; and when the time was right, I would have to confront mother about it. I thought back to the funeral again, searching to see if there were any more important details I hadn't caught before.

_***Flashback***_

_The woman bowed her head before walking off to talk to some of the family members in mourning. My eyes started looking for any other people that may be connected. My eyes caught sight of a girl and a man standing under the shade of a tree by a slick, black limo. The girl couldn't be any more than 20 years old, while the man looked around his late 30s or early 40s, but that's just a guess. _

Why are these people separate from the crowd? _I wondered._

_I inspected the man further and I was repulsed to see he looked completely bored and gave off the impression that he couldn't wait to leave. _

"_Ass," I thought to myself. The least the man could do was have the decency to appear saddened. I'm sure anyone here would be offended if they looked at him right now, at his utter disrespect for the men in the caskets, including me. It might be the weird vibe he was letting off that was stopping people from confronting him about it. None the less, I had the sudden urge to smack him, to get the bored look off his face._

_Ignoring this urge, I looked next to him to look at the girl in order to get my mind off his disregard for the deceased. She was different. Her head was now bowed, and she looked remorseful… She too was wearing the uniform._

_Now, why isn't she over with the rest of the soldiers? Why is she standing with this rude man instead? And now that I think of it… is she… the only girl?_

_I strained my eyes to look closer, and a single tear fell from her face._

… What… why was that tear red? _I thought to myself. I had never seen a red tear before, except in movies, in which case they cry blood… is it possible that there's a disease where people actually cry blood?_

Note to self: Look up list of diseases for bloody tears…_ As I made this mental note I became aware that my intense staring had caught the attention of the man next to the girl. He was looking at me with a slightly… amused look on his face? Why the hell would he be amused?! This is a freaking funeral for crying out loud!_

Argh… I ought to go over there and slap him 'til his face is gone _I thought, taking the saying "'til his face is gone" from my former best friend. As I thought this, though, his grin got even bigger._

_My eyes widened in anger before turning to slits in suspicion and disgust. It was almost as if he knew every little thing that went on in my mind…_

Pfft, he doesn't know me; he's probably some sick psycho that likes getting on people nerves _I thought, easing my frustration._

_I finally looked away, and looked back at the two in the corner of my eye. The man looked slightly disappointed for a brief second, before returning to his bored mask. I chuckled a bit, though inaudible so as not to disturb and insult_ _any of the grieving crowd. __I'd rather him be bored than smug, especially at me. _

_My mom decided to go home after a little while, so she grabbed me by the arm and led me to the car, though not before I took one last look around to see the blond haired woman gesturing the two people beneath the tree into the limo, and getting in herself._

_***End Flashback***_

So that woman really was something. I mean, she had to be if she owned that limo.

I took the iPod ear buds out, the song now on _Fireflies _playing, near the end.

"Mom?" I questioned.

"Hmm?"

"Who was the blond lady at the funeral?" I asked. I wasn't entirely sure if she would give me a straight answer, or if she would answer at all. She seemed intent on keeping me in the dark about dad's profession. I wasn't wrong.

"She's none of your concern," came her somewhat rigid reply. I heaved a big sigh.

"Anything that has to do with dad's death is my concern. That includes what work force he was on," I said, persistent and not yet giving up. It was mom's turn to let out a sigh.

"She… was your dad's… boss," she said. Dang, she's going to play hard to get…

"…And her name is…?"

"That, for sure, doesn't concern you."

"Mom, I already said—"

"Her name could have been George, Grace! Her name had NOTHING to do with his death!" she yelled. My face contorted in a state of hurt. My mother had never lashed out at me like that.

I turned my face away, not wanting to look at her for the moment. I put the ear buds back in and restarted the song it was playing; which happened to be _Sober _by _Pink._

_I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest  
Or the girl who never wants to be alone  
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the morning  
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home_

Aahh, the sun is blinding  
I stayed up again  
Oohh, I am finding  
That's not the way I want my story to end  
I'm safe  
Up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain  
Inside  
You're my protection  
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...  
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth  
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation  
When I won't remember, save your breath, 'cause what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling  
And it whispers to me softly, "come and play"  
Aahh, I am falling  
And if I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame

I found myself fighting my eyelids, trying to stay awake, but eventually the sudden need to sleep claimed victory. And I hoped that I would be without nightmare as I fell into the oblivion that is sleep.

I didn't get my wish.

**A/N: Another semi-slow chapter, but we got more hints toward Hellsing and whatnot. I'm really going to try to get it to pick up next chapter; in fact I'm going to post the other chapter with this one since I don't feel this chapter quite covers it. I almost kept going with this, but decided against it.  
**

**You know how parents always seem to say "What if you…?" And then you're all like, "Yeah, but I did(n't), so this shouldn't even be an issue." Yeah. I had to put that in the story, I think my mom would actually say that too XD. Speaking of, Mom insisted that she read this story, though I kinda forbid her from reading it once it gets into the 'hardcore' Hellsing stuff, because I don't want her to look at me like I'm more disturbed than I already am :D. But what's worse you ask (or not, I'm going to tell you anyway)? She told my cousins and aunt I'm writing a story O.e DX. Obviously I told her I wouldn't give a link. Yes, I know I'm insane. Who's asking?**

**ALSO: I want a brief moment of silence, a kid at my school has recently committed suicide, and it was a REAL eye-opener…**

…**Thanks to my reviewers, even though there are few. I'm hoping as the story progresses I'll get more, which of course will bring in faster updates. **

REVIEW… Please?


	4. Nightmares

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Told ya I'd be posting this along with the last chapter. I guess I just felt you deserved more than a few important points and then the majority being song filler… So here this is, I've still got to build up a bit more. It's a short chapter, though. **

**Warning: graphic scenes**

**Disclaimer: ...Nope XP**

Chapter 4: Nightmares

_I was running through a densely populated forest, what from I couldn't tell you. In fact, I'm not even sure I was running from anything; as time wore on I began having thoughts of looking for something. I picked up the pace so now I was passing trees at inhuman speed which caused me to realize this was a dream. I always did. I never discovered how to wake up, though. _

_I slowed my running to a brisk walk as an opening in the tree line appeared. I looked around my surroundings once more before shoving my way through the opening. On the other side of the forest barrier, there was a clearing, a very large clearing. The same clearing that always appears in my dreams. I looked around once more for something that I just couldn't put my finger on. _

"_Hello?!" I called out._

"_Hello."_

_I whipped around to see a man. He looked oh-so familiar, but I just couldn't recall where I had seen him. And as I blinked, he disappeared. I blankly stared at the place he had just occupied before turning around and walking further into the pasture._

_It seemed that this entire spot was surrounded by trees and more forest, also containing a small pond of sorts, all except for one spot that looked like it led _out_. I _wanted _out, because any way I turned I could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes watching me… inspecting my every move. I looked to the forest, and though I could tell some of my spectators were there, I couldn't see them. I broke into a run for the opening, the 'door way' that was my way out… or so I hoped. _

_Despite my efforts, I wasn't getting any closer to the opening, even though I was running at insane speeds. I was actually getting _farther _from the opening._

"_It really isn't a use, I think you've proved that by now. Don't you think?"_

_I turned once more to see the same man from before._

"_Yes I do think. Exactly what should I be thinking about, though?"_

_The man smiled, enjoying my confusion. I took this silence as an opportunity to look him over. He wore a charcoal suite, a long, red Victorian style trench coat that had obviously been out of date for some time. He also wore a white under shirt, some kind of red tie, and a red hat… a fedora I think it's called, along with leather boots and orange tinted sunglasses that looked more like goggles._

"_Well, you _should_ be thinking about a lot of things, but as of now I was talking about how no matter how hard you work, you're not getting any closer to that gap." I looked at him oddly, visually not paying attention to the answer to my question, for I was just too close to remembering where I last saw him. This seemed to anger him, slightly. Something clicked._

"_You're the rude, disrespectful guy that was at the funeral…" I said, trailing off. The way how he had been angered when deprived of attention brought back the funeral memory. This pointed-out fact seemed to entertain him, and he chuckled slightly._

"_Indeed." He tilted his head forward a bit, letting his glasses slide to the end of his nose a bit… revealing his ruby eyes._

"_Grace?" My eyes widened at his voice. I had seen him in many of my dreams lately, but never before had he actually spoke. I spun around to see my dad about five yards away, and he had a horrified look on his face, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking behind me. I turned around to see the man still there, but he was now looking behind him, at the trees… and the eyes that were now exposing themselves. He took out a gun and cocked it before aiming it at the trees… which seemed to anger its inhabitants. _

_If it were possible, my eyes widened further at the figures that emerged from the trees. They all had red eyes or no eyes at all, the ones without looked like zombies. One of the red eyed figures walked further, before smiling wickedly, and I saw fit to assume this guy the 'leader'. The man who had armed his gun shot at the newcomers and I blinked not opening my eyes for a good two minutes. When I finally did, I finally saw the long overdue images._

_I was no longer in the pasture that only moments ago would have been a perfect picnic area; now I was in the presence of a massacre. Everywhere I looked, dead bodies and body parts lay, leaking blood onto the ground which in turn soaked it up. Some of these people were the ones who had just come out of the forest; others had the uniform on, the same as my dad's. In pure terror, I started walking across the clearing, with no particular destination. It seemed the blood bath that had taken place was over just as soon as it had started, there weren't any threats around, I didn't see any survivors; especially not through the thick layer of dust that now resided in the clearing. The pond was no longer clear, but red with the blood of countless dead. I looked at my reflection. My wavy brown hair was still in check, but my normally hazel eyes were now swollen with tears and wide with horror, my cheeks red from crying. My teeth were chattering, though I wasn't cold._

_I turned back towards the opening, towards the gap that only moments ago was going to be my escape. It was no different now. I started in a full sprint, and my efforts were… 'rewarded'. I finally got through the gap, but now, even though the forest was gone, the warzone wasn't. And now, I actually saw the last surviving fighters. The man with the gun, the 'leader' of the newcomers, and… my own dad. I didn't like the sight I was seeing, though. My father was in a death hold by the 'leader', and the other man had his gun aimed at him, with a sadistic grin on his face. _

_I soon realized my father wasn't the one he was trying to kill, but the man holding him. So did the 'leader'. And if he was going down, so was my dad. _

"_Wait, no! Stop!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, only to be followed with the sound of an exploding gunfire, and the 'leader' ripping open my dad's throat. I watched helplessly as the newcomer fell, my father following pursuit shortly after. _

_I raced over to him, eyes wide and filled with tears. When I got to him, it was already too late; the light left his eyes as soon as they met mine._

"_NO! God NO!" I looked over to the man, accusation in my eyes, because if he hadn't shot, my father might still be alive. But the man had vanished. I did hear his voice whisper in my ear, though,_

"_We all have to make our sacrifices."_

"NO!" I screamed, eyes fluttering open. I blinked a few times before I realized that it was a dream; somehow, even though I realize it's a dream from the very beginning, somewhere along the line it becomes too real, eliminating the knowledge.

I looked around at my surroundings; my unfamiliar surroundings, I might add. Understanding crossed my face when I grasped the fact that this must be my new home, and somehow mom had gotten me to what I assume is my room, and on to a temporary inflatable mattress.

Footsteps thundered outside my door when mom busted in.

"Grace?! Oh my God, Grace, are you okay?" she asked frantically, worry and concern coating her tone.

"What? Oh, umm… I think so…" I answered, still a little disoriented.

Her face was still uneasy, but she asked, "Was it about your dad…?" I just nodded in response.

"Oh, honey… It's okay…" she comforted, sitting down on the mattress and giving me a soothing hug.

"We'll be okay…" she trailed off again. It was silent for a little while before she broke it, asking, "Do you think you'll be able to get back to sleep?" I nodded again, laying back down and pulling the covers to my shoulder.

"Okay… If you need anything, I'm just down the hall, first door on the left, okay?" I nodded yet again and she said one last thing, "Okay… I love you, Grace."

"Love you, too." I replied, and I watched her retreat out of the room closing the door behind her.

I rolled over; disappointment taking over as I realized what my dozing off probably cost me. All the boxes were most likely unloaded from the truck now, so the box containing the uniform was probably in some random place. I sighed.

_Nothing I can do about it now…_

I struggled around a little bit until I was in a comfortable position. I then allowed my eyes to slip closed, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

For the first time in months, my mind decided to go in my favor.

**A/N: This was a somewhat short chapter, I admit it. It's half the length of the last chapter. But you also got two chapters this time so I think we're even. So, I'm declaring this a mini-chapter. Also, we got more Hellsing this time, even if it was only in a dream. **

**Again, thanks to reviewers, and please keep more coming. (Pst! I'll let you in on a secret… as great as my reviewers are, I'd like more people to review, too!) :D So, that's pretty much all I got for now. **

**REVIEW**


	5. Suprises

**What Once Was**

**A/N: And I'm Back ~ :D . Took a while for me to start writing this on this foggy… wet… dark… and otherwise perfect Friday night XD (I'm a huge procrastinator, ironically enough I have great grades :D). There were a few shows, that, being the immature teenager I am, I needed to check out (Disney channel… :D) and then I didn't like the ending so of course I searched for a fanfic. Found one :D. Anyways, I got ENTIRELY off subject. *Goes back to see where last chapter left off* Oh yes, getting back to sleep with good dreams. Fun, fun. I'ma try to make the story pick up more with this chapter. **

**One Week Later: Suffered writer's block ^.^; sorry… Heh… Also, school's a bitch. D: Also, apparently I now have a C in algebra due to my procrastination XD.**

**Happy reading :D**

**Warnings: Language**

**Disclaimer: I don't - wait… HA! Refer to Earlier Chapters to see valid Disclaimer or stop wasting valuable time… - You just wasted 3 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.**

Chapter 5: Surprises

_52. You and your friends are hanging out. One offers you a cigarette. State and explain a good way to decline, use the S.T.O.P. process._

* * *

My eye twitched. There was absolutely NO point to this stupid question. What's wrong with just saying "no"? A simple "no" would do the trick, and if they keep insisting, you just say, "Hey, BACK OFF, I'M NOT IN THE FLIPPEN' MOOD!" I shook my head, for the umpteenth time today. This Social Health test was completely meaningless for three reasons:

One: I live in the middle of freaking nowhere, in Winston, surrounded by thick woods and a few neighbors.

Two: I had no friends. This test is for the social, I'm not social.

Three: I never cared about school; I don't plan to start now.

So why am I doing a test I would otherwise discard when the teacher wasn't looking? Why, 'tis because said teacher just happens to home school me, and thinks he has to look over my shoulder every waking second of every godforsaken day. And he actually does, if he wants to be paid. It's the only thing that keeps me from doing what I've been doing the past six years of schooling; slacking off, and mom won't have any of that.

"Getting frustrated with the question is in no way going to find the answer."

I turned my head and scowled at Mr. Berk.

"Oh, but how _fun_ it is," I retorted. He shook his head and smirked before walking around my side of the table and sitting down in the chair not five feet away. The only good part about this guy is that he has to put up with my back-talk; there wasn't really any punishment. I was the only kid within a two hour's drive, thus pretty much limiting his teaching options to me, or at least that's what I've been told, whenever I ask. But oh, how annoying he could be, which was punishment enough on its own. Plus, he couldn't get in 'trouble' for being annoying or toying with me. And he knew it.

"Better keep working if you want to finish that test of yours within the next few hours."

I narrowed my eyes at the remark, before returning my focus on my paper, head in my hand, which was probably making a mess of my hair. I wrote down exactly what I thought earlier, not really caring what grade I would get. I quickly finished the rest of the test to the best of my abilities, and all but chucked the thick packet at my 'tutor'.

He narrowed his eyes at me this time, before going through my answers, occasionally looking up to make sure I was still there.

I used this time to get lost in my thoughts, which seemed like something I hardly had the time to do anymore. A week after mom and I moved here, she hired Mr. "Annoying" for minimum wage. While I was happy I wouldn't be attending school, my limited optimism was short lasted when I realized this meant I would be getting _all _of the attention. Ever since it's been, "Study this, review that, touch up on this subject, you're slacking." Like I don't already know. Oh well, nothing a little "hide-and-seek" can't fix. I chuckled to myself, remembering the first time I escaped 'class' and into the safety of the woods. Ah, yes. Mr. Berk had good reason to constantly make sure I was still here. Out of the three weeks he's been teaching me, I've managed to slip away a total of 11 times. And today, I planned to make it 12. I just had to be patient, and wait for the right moment.

"Well, Miss. Grace, you don't seem to have learned much…"

I grinned. "Nope," I replied, popping the "P".

Mr. Berk sighed. "Grace, this is stuff you need to know. It could save your ass from an awkward or otherwise bad situation."

I cocked up one eyebrow. "Oh yes, indeed," I said, mocking his dialect, "Because I need to learn to say 'no' to my infinite friends."

His face turned into a blank mask, before he got up and started heading for the kitchen, pausing once before turning the corner.

"Stay," he said, giving me a stern look. I put my hands up, verbally saying I wasn't going anywhere. When he disappeared down the hall, I quickly thought of how I could get away, but he was already back, so I slumped into my chair in disappointment.

He came over to my side of the table, and I looked at him as he placed something on the surface in front of me. He motioned for me to look at what he had brought, and I did. It was a bottle; a bear bottle. Opened and ready for the taking. I looked back at him puzzled. He had his arms crossed, leaning against the back of my chair; he was impersonating a lounging teenager.

"Hey Grace, I got some beer at the store, you want one?" Wow. I knew he had weird ways of teaching but now he was making me question his sanity. Ha. Like I knew anything about that.

"No, thanks, I'm sure a person as depressed as you needs it more than I do," I said, using my infamous mock sincerity. I looked at him and grinned; hopefully with the display of mine I would be able to show him I don't need to learn about peer pressure.

"Oh, but I insist," he said placing his hand on his chest, pushing the bottle closer, "You should try it, really. It calms your nerves a-"

"And not to mention brings you liver damage."

"Oh, come now, Grace. Loosen up!"

"Sure, how 'bout you go first, I'll take a snapshot of an 'under-aged' drinker, and we'll see how the police handle it."

He then pulled away from my chair and straightened his posture. "Well done, Grace. You stood you're ground, even though making a threat might get your ass kicked… Now we move on to self-defense. Here are your work and your book," He said, slapping down a packet that had at least 20 pages and a book labeled _Self-Defense _in front of me. He then took the beer and went to the other side of the table and sat down, taking a big swig.

"I'd get started if I were you, it's due first thing tomorrow."

I heaved a huge sigh and opened the book. He was _trying_ to make my life hell, I just knew it.

This new life just keeps getting better and better. This guy changes subjects too quickly, only staying on one subject for three days; tops. Not to mention his teaching strategies, which have already been presented, are horrible.

_But… _I thought looking up from my almost half-way finished work, two hours later. _Sometimes odd is good…_

I grinned wickedly, something I've recently made a habit out of. Mr. Berk had just finished his fifth beer. Since having the first beer he hadn't really been able to stop, and he was showing a few signs of being wasted.

"Mr. Berk?" I asked. He looked at me lazily and said,

"Yeah, what is it?" Damn… His words weren't slurring as much as I thought they would be and he answered almost instantly.

"Err… Don't you think you've had enough to drink? Aren't you supposed to be teaching me and not drinking alcohol in my presence?"

He cocked his head slightly and grinned, visible taking pleasure in my apparent disappointment.

"No, and you don't really care about learning anyways, so…" he trailed off. "Also, I have high tolerance."

I heaved a sigh, and went back to work, when I heard him mumble something,

"Shit goes right through me, though…" And with that, he stood up. "I got to empty the tank," he said, and I made a face in disgust. Where did he learn his manners? Sometimes he would speak like an aristocrat, the next he's all ill-mannered. He started walking down the hall towards the bathroom, when he turned around,

"Stay." It was the same thing he always said, except this time he would be taking longer than his usual trips to the refrigerator, and as soon as the bathroom door was closed, I was in motion.

I started running to my room to pick up a few things, like my iPod, cell phone, flashlight, and a pocket knife. Hey, you never know what's in a forest; I've seen a bear before. _I give myself one minute before he gets out, tops, _I thought. That's when I heard the toilet flush and the rushing water of the pipelines. _Damn, he must've heard me run for it… _By now, I was almost at the door, and then, I was free.

Being outside felt _soo _good. He's had his guard up for the past week, so I've been cooped up in the house since. Just as I broke into the forest trees, I could hear Mr. Berk yelling,

"Grace! God damn it Grace! Come back! You can't go out there!"

I laughed. Yeah, like I was going to go back to that hell hole. Not until it was too dark to see anymore, that is.

I kept up my pace until I had been running for about ten minutes, which was when I decided to take a break. I sat down on the ground and leaned against a tree. I sighed and breathed in the smell of nature. Ah, how refreshing finally getting out of the house was. Also, now I could let my thoughts roam free, without worrying about disturbances.

I just hate this home schooling thing, and it's hard to believe Mr. Berk was the only option as a teacher. I don't think it would be as bad if I had a respectful and responsible teacher, or at least one that knew what he was doing. Honestly, it's like mom yanked this guy off the streets.

What's worse, I haven't even had the time to look for anything concerning dad's occupation. Mom leaves before I get up, and Mr. Berk comes right as she leaves. Eleven hours later, mom comes home, and he leaves. I'm NEVER alone. Not even when I want to be. I swear, I think she means for it to be this way; to do everything in her power to keep me unknowledgeable about the subject. Not tonight though. As soon as I know she's asleep, the search is on.

I got back up, finally having slowed down my breathing, and started walking the opposite way I had come. I never knew why, but I always feel more comfortable when I'm alone; secluded. That's why I've never been scared of going through woods. In fact, in my first house, we had woods in our back yard, and I would play endlessly while dad and mom sat on a blanket at the edge of the trees.

I sighed, longing to have things be the way they once were. Life was so simple and care free when you're a kid; and despite parents always saying savor your childhood, all you want to do is grow up. How different things are now.

I kept going, climbing over fallen tree trunks, hopping on stones to cross a small creek; I even came across a small pond. I stopped when I found this pond and looked over and into the water. It was pretty dirty; it had algae everywhere and was the color of dirt and showed little to no sign of life. I picked up a flat rock and flung it, skipping it four times before it sunk beneath the surface.

I walked furthers still, and spotted a few deer, walking in the forest. One buck and one doe. When they stepped out of my vision, I saw a little baby deer following after. I smiled, thinking of how happy it must be; being with its parents all the time, before continuing on.

I had been walking a long time, and I looked at my watch; 5:30. Mom wouldn't be back for a few more hours and I was pretty sure I knew where I was. I looked behind me to see the tree stump that I knew had moss on one side, and I knew if I walked to the right of the stump, I would be heading home. Also, it doesn't hurt when a particular pocket knife is good at carving arrows in wood.

I stopped when I heard something. It was fast approaching footsteps, and the yelling of my name. _Aw, shit. Really? Did he really find me? _I thought. Right as the thought finished, I started running away from where Mr. Berk's voice was coming from.

"Grace! I see you!" I heard him call.

"Yeah?" I called back. "Well good for you, you're not as blind as I thought you were. But just wait until mom finds out you let me slip out. _Again." _

Just then my eye caught something. Brightness in the middle of the dimly lit forest. A way out. A break. The end.

_What the? Aw, I really thought this forest was bigger than that… _I thought, when I heard Mr. Berk's feet make contact with the ground after jumping over a log, not too far behind me.

_Alright… Let's play tag… _I slowed down, and looked over my shoulder and saw Mr. Berk's face; angered, but slightly joyful. He probably thought I was giving up and was going to go back with him. How wrong he was.

Just as he was within arm's reach, he made a move to grab at me; but it looked like luck was on my side; the booze being the luck. I was able to duck and dash a few feet away from him while he stood there wearing a dumbfounded look.

"A little disoriented, are we? I told you, you shouldn't have had so much to drink. Look what it's done to your nervous system!" I said laughing a little bit near the end.

"Grace, listen to me. We need to get back to your house," he said, a little panicked.

"Awe, is duh wittle teachew afwaid of duh big bad beaw? Or maybe duh big bad wolf?" I said in a baby voice, hands on hips.

I started walking to my left, and he followed; walking to his right. I smiled and said, "I'm not going back, not yet."

"Grace, please. We aren't supposed to be out here…"

"Says who? My mom? Mom's not here, and if anything, you'll be the one getting in trouble for not being a responsible 'guardian'."

I heard him mumble. It sounded something like 'This SO isn't worth seven dollars an hour". I chuckled a bit.

I moved a little more to my left, but this time going backwards, as well. He just went right instead of following me. I backed up a little more, he didn't move. I looked at him square in the face and asked, "Giving up?"

His response was a shake of his head and getting into a more stable stance, like he was guarding something. Now isn't that odd?

"Quick question… why aren't you running after me?" I yelled, seeing as I had backed up far enough he wouldn't have heard me had I just said the words normally.

He just stood there, with a weird expression. I looked behind him as a reflex to see what exactly he was 'guarding'. What I saw was the opening in the trees, lighting the forest with an orange glow that comes from sunsets. He was guarding the way out. Why would he be doing that? Maybe there was something on the other side that would help me get farther away and hide, or maybe he figured that that was the direction led away from home and it was best if I kept running the other way; towards home, therefore making his job easier. Well, he was making my life hell, so why not make his one?

With that decided, I ran right towards him, smiling at the surprised look on his face. He obviously wasn't expecting this action, which just made it that much easier for me. When I finally got to him, I once again took advantage of his drunkenness and juked him out (I pretended I was going to run right but in the middle of that step I ran left.) He stumbled a bit when he tried to grab for me again and I kept running for the opening.

_Man, déjà vu… _I thought, remembering my nightmare that had taken place when I first moved in. Hopefully, though, I wouldn't happen upon a battlefield like I had, more or less, in the dream.

I covered my face with my arms so as to not get scratched by any rogue branches and I broke into daylight… or what was left of it. The sun was just behind the trees to the left so the landscape in front of me was illuminated a dark orange. I stopped and took my arms away from my face and let my eyes trail up the grassy field to the space in front of me.

I gasped.

What lay before me was like nothing I had ever seen. No, it wasn't a bloody field, like I had for some reason been expecting, but the humongous layout of a huge-and I mean HUGE- mansion.

* * *

It was white and had more windows than at my old school. It looked like we were in the back of the mansion. As I was taking this in, Mr. Berk staggered out of the trees and cursed as his shirt got snagged on a branch and ripped some. He cursed once again when he too saw my findings.

I turned around to look at him, mouth still gaping. We stood there for a minute; he was weary for some reason and was hesitant. However, when I broke out of my reverie, all hell broke loose.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? I THOUGHT WE LIVED IN SOME POOR, ROTTEN, RUN-DOWN SHIT-HOLE! AND YET THERE IS A MANSION THAT IS PRACTICALLY IN MY BACKYARD?! IS THIS WHAT YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO FIND BACK IN THE FORSEST? WHO THE HELL EVEN _LIVES _HERE?!"

He stood there, once again with a shocked expression, most likely towards my outburst. It took him a moment to answer my questions.

"Well…" he started, visibly still hesitant. "As you can see it's a mansion. You _do _live in some poor, run-down shit-hole; it just doesn't extend very far. _You _practically live in _its _backyard. It is what I didn't want you to find…" he said this hesitantly, and what he continued with was even more cautious, "…I live here."

My eyes widened, and this became one of those times where when your questions are answered, it just brings up more questions. "Okay, why didn't you want me to get here?" I started off with this question because my other one I could just feel was going to take a long explanation.

"Well…" he started off again. "Um, you see… uh… Oh! This is private property. Yeah, and um… we could get shot on sight if we get caught here… and being your teacher, it's my responsibility to make sure neither you nor me get shot." I looked at him weird. He just MAJORLY messed up. And I was going to put him in the spotlight for it.

"Okay," I said with fake understanding. "Now for my next question." I paused briefly, trying to word my sentence. "If you own this mansion, which you said you did, why would _you _get shot for being on your own private property?" I grinned when he realized his mistake. He stammered for a few incoherent sentences before he finally said something that made sense.

"I never said I owned it."

I cocked up one eyebrow. Was he really doing this? He _just _said he owned it.

"But you just said that you lived here!" I said, pointing out his other mistake.

He simply looked at his shuffling feet and said, "Yeah, I live here. I never said I owned it."

I looked at him with confusion and asked the inevitable question, "Then… who does?"

He looked even more nervous now. "Err… Uh… The um… I… I-I can't tell you…"

"Why? Does your life depend on it?" I said, mocking his sheepishness. Honestly, when comparing this to his usually confident 'I'm better than you' attitude, you'd think he had a one way ticket to the gallows.

"Well, it's not that severe but it's pretty bad, nonetheless."

My eye twitched. We just stood there and then I heard banging. It was far off, but it sounded like one of the old war movies my dad used to watch. It was gunfire.

As if realizing this at the same time, Mr. Berk's eyes widened and stepped towards me.

He wasn't fast enough. I took off, and for some reason, my feet were taking me _toward_ the shooting. I guess my thoughts were if Mr. Berk wouldn't answer my questions, people with loaded guns that were shooting at stuff would.

I was running to the left… so I guess it was toward the west wing (the sun was setting in the direction I was running). I could hear Mr. Berk behind me once again, telling me to stop, that I shouldn't be here.

To hell with him. I was going to find some answers, one way or another. It wasn't long before I was past the edge of the west wing, revealing the landscape.

There were people, lots of them. With guns. Shooting. I looked closer and found that they were shooting at paper that had people painted on them and flapped every time they were hit.

_Okay, they're shooting at targets. But why are they…? Are they training? _

_What else would they be doing? Eating ice cream? HELLO, it's called 'target practice'!^_

NO. Not now. No mental conversations when I'm close to getting some answers, however pointless they may be. But hey, Mr. Berk says he lives here, and he won't tell me who owns this place, so it probably will be something worthwhile.

I had slowed and had been watching these people when Mr. Berk finally caught up. I turned to him and made another sarcastic remark.

"Woo, Mr. Berk, you gots to get back into shape! Fallen behind already?" I said the last part in an Australian accent, you know, just to make things less tense.

"I -pant- hate *gasp* YOU!" he wheezed, with no real sign of anger.

"I hate you to. Say, you wouldn't happen to know them, would you?" I looked up at me and opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "'Cause you're about to if you don't."

His eyes widened even more as I started walking over to the group, catching one guy's attention. I put my hand up to wave and I smiled, but Mr. Berk took me by the shoulders and turned me around to face him.

"Grace, stop this. Your mother is going to-"

"I don't give a FUCK about what mother thinks. I hardly even see her anymore, and when I do, it's just a simple 'hi' or 'good night' or 'bye' or 'I love you'. I haven't spent some quality time with here in months! In fact, the absolute most time I've spent with her _after _dad died was when we were packing to move to a fucking, godforsaken, hell-bent SHIT-HOLE!"

He looked at me with wide eyes. He was obviously taken back at my abrupt outrage, and didn't know how to handle it. I took a deep breath, and said something as a final attempt to get answers.

"Who lives here, and what is the real reason you don't want me here." I looked at the man with the gun in the corner of my eye. He was some 30 yards away, but I could tell he had already gotten the attention of a few other guys… Either he did or my yelling did.

He sighed in defeat, and finally gave me my response. The answer to all my questions. My salvation(1).

"I didn't want you here because your mom didn't want you to know who owned it:

"Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing."

"Yes?"

**(1): Salvation can also be used as a word meaning saved from failure. I used it in this sense.**

**A/N: Holy shit, that took forever. Sorry for the cliff hanger-ish-ness. XD ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM ! (IDK, so don't ask XD Well I guess you can but you won't get an answer.) ANYWAYS, there was finally some directness towards Hellsing, and with this ending you can expect next chapter to be even more so. Let's say most of it will be in direct relation to Hellsing (well, at least the concept, not the storyline). Like I said, this is a week late due to school and writer's block. A bad excuse, I know. But hey, there's a story I've seen that was just updated from 2004 O.o I won't be like that, okay? I promi- you know what, if I keep getting reviews and hits, I'll keep writing. Otherwise it's just going to stay in my head where all the rest of the insanity belongs :D. No, seriously. I mean it.**

**I'm going to start addressing reviewers starting this chapter, but I'm only going to do it for people who reviewed last chapter, and there was only one (-.-) so my job is easy this time.**

EmeraldOctober: Thank you for the awesome review and I'll update as soon as possible. Yes, Alucard is an I-can-care-less type person at a funeral XD, and thank you. I try to keep in character; it bothers me when I read stories where the people are just so OUT of it. I can't finish them. Speaking of, I will not quit writing this story as long as people at least read it, but I may write it anyways since I've learned to like it too. But reviews always keep my self esteem up, so thanks again :).

**As always, review. Like I said, reviews keep/get my self esteem up and I tend to write better/faster when people tell me they like the story. So that pretty much just says reviews=faster updates :D.**

**Thanks! :D**

**EDIT: This had to wait another day cuz fanfiction was being an ass and wouldn't let me upload shit. It's GAY (in the sense that it is stupid and I hate it right now, not in the sense that it likes other fanfiction of the same sex which isn't possible because it has no gender. However, my story is a GIRL XD. SO: no offense to gay people). DX**

**REVIEW XD**


	6. Dismay

**What Once Was**

**A/N: 'Ello! :D I'm back and I am looking at the wheelchair in the corner. I am dreading it. You wanna know why? Of course you don't but I'm gonna tell you anyways. My mom's having foot surgery Friday and she's going to be bedridden for quite some time, and with the man of the house gone (he left for a bit, he's not dead just so you know) I have to take care of her. So I'm going to try to get chapters into my story whenever I can. ANYWAYS I digress.  
I got THREE reviews this time. YAY! Me iz happy. This chapter may be a little sad, but I'm also hoping that it clears up a few of the confusions that have come up. So, without further ado, I give you, Chapter SIX! –Enter applaud here-  
**

**Disclaimer: I'm telling you, you're wasting your time –refer to earlier chapters for disclaimer-**

**Warnings: Language, **

**Happy Reading :D**

Chapter 6:

Mr. Berk's eyes widened; whether in fear, surprise, or a combination of the two I didn't know. He then whipped around to look at the figure that had come up behind him, even though I hadn't seen or heard its approach, and from the sound of it, it was a woman. Mr. Berk started stuttering and finally came out with a coherent sentence.

"I-I-I'm _so _sorry, Sir Integra, I tried to stop her, but the woods are just so… so _vast_! You'd think she lived there her whole life, t-the way she got around! I'm-"

"That's quite enough, Mr. Berk!" the woman's voice said, measurable angrier compared to her earlier remark. My jaw was hanging open, ever since Mr. Berk addressed her; I had been completely taken by surprise and was having a hard time recovering. I still hadn't caught sight of this Integra, Mr. Berk was still standing in the way and I couldn't see past his broad shoulders, and I was in too much shock to really move. I didn't really know where the shock came from; most likely because the person that would be able to give me all my answers to satisfy me was not five feet away.

"Mr. Berk, you were under strict orders to not give out specific information, and here you are spilling out everything you've been told not to! Have you lost your mind?! Are you so incapable of carrying out your duties that you crumble at the words of a simple _girl_? I do not stand for disobedience!"

Mr. Berk was so tense you'd think he was waiting to be shot. His hands were fists at his sides, head sort of tucked inside his shoulders like a turtle, facing down.

"I… I thought maybe I owed it to her… you know, since all that's happened to her… I didn't mean—"

"What? You can't make amends to all the widows and children of fellow soldiers, Mr. Berk! You disobeyed my command, and disrespected my authority. I should have you thrown out of my house for this," she cut him off once again. Wow, this person must really be something if— wait… fellow soldiers?

"I know, Sir, and I would understand if you do… but she's the daughter of a good friend of mine… or, was one."

_He knew dad? _If it was possible, my eyes widened, and I felt the overwhelming need to question those before me in that instant. So, I spoke.

"You… You knew Dad…?" I said in a soft voice, head down. I was so sick of being lied to, I didn't know which way was up anymore.

Mr. Berk froze, and I knew then he had somehow forgotten I was there. I heard the lady murmur 'idiot' to him, and then she said in a louder, more commanding voice, "Stand aside."

Mr. Berk did as he was told, and took three steps to the right. Who he revealed, ironically enough, didn't surprise me as much as it should have. He revealed a woman in a suit that looked a lot like a man's, and also had long flowing blond hair. She wore glasses that covered the bluest, iciest, most piercing eyes I had ever seen. I could see why Mr. Berk was somewhat afraid of her. She stepped forward and looked down on me, penetrating me with her eyes. For some reason, I gave into an urge to take a weary step back.

"Miss Grace Lindsey Rockwell, I presume?" I could only nod my head in response. What can I say? She was intimidating.

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers. I think I also heard her mumble something about an incompetent bastard. She then looked at me in the eye, and this time I fought the compulsion to recede.

"What all has he told you or that you know?" she demanded. I stammered for a few seconds before answering.

"Only what you heard… oh, um… Sir…" I added the last part when she cocked up her eyebrow, obviously annoyed she wasn't paired with the proper title.

"So you've only heard my name?"

"Not exactly… the fact that you own this mansion, Mr. Berk is actually a soldier…" I mumbled to myself that that explained his poor teaching skills before continuing on, "he knew my dad, and you were my dad's employer."

Mr. Berk's eyes widened a bit in horror at the last part and I quickly verified, "The last bit I inferred."

"I see…" she trailed off, looking like she was thinking really hard. "Do you know what they do?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, puzzled. They were soldiers, I guess I just assumed they fought wars or were like enhanced police or something.

"The 'soldiers' as you call them. Do you know what it is that they do?" she asked again, this time in a somewhat amused voice.

"I… well; I assumed they fought wars… Sir…" Man, I keep forgetting to tack on her title…

The corner of her lips twitched, and I got the feeling I was missing some sort of inside joke, and then her face went back to an unreadable mask.

There was a pause while she gathered her thoughts and then she spoke.

"What exactly led you here?"

I furrowed my brows at the question, not really understanding the purpose of it.

"…I was running through the woods and I saw the light breaking through the trees. I just ran towards it." I caught sight in the corner of my eye that not only a few, but most of the soldiers that were having target practice were now focused on us.

"Why were you in the forest?"

"I don't know… I like it."

"Yes, we all know that, but _why _were you _there_ and not in at your house!?"

I felt a small ping of horror then, because her tone was rising and was now in the commanding voice she was using on Mr. Berk not five minutes ago.

"Because school is boring, and his teaching is completely hellish." I said, nodding towards Mr. Berk.

She pinched the bridge of her nose once again, and started walking towards her mansion. I just stood there, still a little disoriented, and watched her go. I then turned to Mr. Berk who was now staring at the floor shuffling his feet. I started to walk towards the woods to go home, and he started to follow, but Sir Integra's voice interrupted me.

"Where do you think you're going?" She had stopped and was slightly turned around with her hands in her pockets.

"Umm… home?" I said it more like a question because I got the feeling I wouldn't be going home now, not for a while at least.

"No, you're following me. I'm sure you have several questions, and I don't think you'll find those at your home. I take it you haven't gotten any answers before now?"

I shook my head, and started walking towards her, and I think Mr. Berk was about to do the same. However, she stopped walking yet again and looked over her shoulder at him and said,

"Only Miss Rockwell, Mr. Berk. You've already lost loads of training time, and I recommend that you catch up. After all, from what I've seen, you can't even keep up with a teenager.

Mr. Berk blushed for a second, but ran off to join the other men that were having target practice quickly enough.

Sir Integra was a fast walker. And I mean a _really _fast walker. I was practically running to keep up with her, and we covered the 50 yard distance to the mansion in record time. We reached what I assumed was the side door and she walked in, but I paused for a moment. For some reason, I felt extremely hesitant to enter her mansion, and I was fighting the urge to run. I wanted, with every bone in my body, to run away from this place, back to the safety of my house. I didn't really have the choice, though. I had only stood there for maybe five seconds before I heard a very annoyed feminine voice.

"Well? Come on, I haven't all day, I've still got work to do." I looked up from the door's threshold to meet her eyes- and might I say, if stares could kill. She must not have a ton of patience…

I hesitated a moment more, about to take a step before pulling back cautiously, then continuing after Integra… err… _Sir_ Integra. She turned around after making sure that I was following and continued with her fast paced walk.

If this place looked big on the outside-and it did- it was nothing compared to what the inside looked like. There were countless framed pictures that looked like they had been around for more than a few lifetimes, and there was a lot of antique furniture. We walked for a while before turning down another hallway and there was a case of stairs, some leading down and others up. I wandered briefly what kind of treasures such an old house hid in its attics and basements(1). As if it were possible, Sir Integra started walking even faster up the stairs as if in a hurry to clear them.

When we got to the top we took a left and walked down a hall with numerous doors and separate hallways.

_It's got to be hell just getting around here… _I thought. There had to be miles and miles of walkways and hallways and as crazy as it sounds, I bet there are probably quite a few secret passage ways, seeing as it was such a big and old house.

Integra came to a stop in front of a pair of doubled doors, opened it, and stepped in. I stood in the doorway. She walked to the left wall and sat down at a huge desk which was in front of an even bigger window that overlooked the courtyard. You could see some of the men still training, and I could just barely make out the almost pudgy shape of Mr. Berk running. There was a man trailing behind him with a megaphone, most likely the drill sergeant… or whatever, I don't really pay attention to the ranks…

"Well?" came the obviously irritated voice of Sir Integra. I looked to her and she motioned for me to sit at one of the chairs that were positioned in front of her desk. I quickly scurried over to the chairs and seated myself.

She started going through papers and then hit a button on her desk.

"Yes Sir?" asked a male voice. From the sound of it, this man was probably elderly and very gentlemen-like.

"Walter, please contact Miss. Rockwell and inform her that her daughter is here."

There was a pause, and even know I knew mom knew Sir Integra, it didn't really stop the surprise from coming when it was confirmed out loud from someone other than myself.

"Err… Yes Sir." finally came the reply.

Some time passed and I was starting to get really fidgety. It had to be somewhere around 7:30, and though I had no place to go, I wasn't having much success to have excuse to leave.

"Miss Rockwell, if you were going to just sit there and look like a scared child, the why exactly did you come or why are you still here?" I looked at her oddly. Isn't she the one who told me to come with her in the first place? She said she would tell me some things I wanted to know. So far, all she had done was write and do paperwork.

"Um… you told me to come…" I finally got out.

"I told you to come if you wanted answers. You've hardly said a single word."

"Well, I… I was… uh…" I was struggling with wording my sentence. I didn't want to be rude or sound strange, and I really didn't want to just get up and leave like she was sort of implying. I would not have come if that's what I was planning to do.

"Sir Integra?" the male voice, the one she called Walter, spoke through the little microphone-type-thing again.

She sighed and answered, "Yes, what is it?"

"I am unable to get a hold on Miss. Rockwell's phone."

"That's fine, Walter. She may not be home yet."

"Shall I try again later?"

"Yes, that would be fine."

"Alright, Sir. By the way, would you like your tea now or later?"

"Now would be excellent, Walter."

"Alright, I'll be up in a moment."

They couldn't reach mom? Huh. I guess that isn't too strange, she usually gets home pretty late, and she's been out later before. Oh well.

"Miss Rockwell, I'm still waiting."

Integra was still doing paper work and wasn't looking up. I just decided to launch into the questions, she seemed to be the straight forward kind of person anyway.

"Why didn't mom want me to know about this place? What could be so bad about knowing my dad was a soldier?"

"Well," she started. What she sounded like right now reminded me of a teenager trying to tell their parents they crashed the car without telling them the car was absolutely totaled.

"I take it you don't know what you mean by 'this place, correct?"

"Well… I thought this place was your mansion…"

"It is. It's my home, and it's been around for several generations of the Hellsing bloodline."

I giggled a little bit by accident. She raised one eyebrow, "What do you find funny about that?"

"Oh, I was just thinking of how hard it must have been growing up with the last name Hellsing. You know, with that 'Dracula' book and all."

"…"

"Sorry, go on." I said, a little uncomfortable with the silence, and the twitch at the corner of her mouth made me feel like I was missing some sort of inside joke.

"As I said, it's been around for quite some time, and it's been home to the Hellsing Organization for some time as well. What we do is discrete, secret, and most do not know we even exist."

"And that's why she didn't want me to know? Just to keep it completely secret? Jeez, she could have told me that much…" I trailed off. While I probably wouldn't have stopped looking, it would have been a little better if I had known I wasn't the only one that wasn't in on the secret.

There was a short silence except for her pen scratching before I asked my next question.

"So… what do you fight? Terrorists?"

She chuckled a bit and answered, "Sure. Let's call them terrorists."

There was a longer silence and I fidgeted even more. I felt like eyes were boring holes into the back of my head, even though when I turned, no one was there.

"Do you… uh…"

"Do I what?"

"Um… ever feel like you're being watched?"

She laughed, and I looked at her oddly.

"All the time," she answered.

Just then, a man in a butler's suit with a pony tail, a monocle, and a tray came in and walked over to the desk.

"Your tea, Sir Integra." The voice, I recognized, was the same as the one on the intercom

"Thank you, Walter. Were you able to get a hold of Miss. Rockwell?"

"Um… no. Isn't she supposed to be home by now?"

"Hm… I wonder what's taking her. Honestly, out of all of the widows. While I understand her troubles, she can really be difficult. Try again, will you? She's needs to be sent home sooner or later."

"Of course, Sir."

My eye's trailed the room while the two started whispering. I still couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, and a time or two while I was having a few mental conversations, I could have sworn I heard a laugh other than my own.

My eyes finally landed on the window, and at the crowding soldiers. Some were pointing, some were looking around, and one was leaving the group, and they looked like they were heading in the direction of the door. I furrowed my brows, for they were obviously not running a drill or training… what were they looking at?

I stood up, bringing Sir Integra's and Walter's attention to me. I walked over to the window and looked down at the soldiers. They were looking left, to the South. I looked to see what they were looking at.

My eyes widened.

My mouth opened in silent scream.

Smoke, barely visible in what was pretty much the night, was rising to the south.

"No…" I whispered. I heard a chair scoot back, and then the presence of Integra beside me. The atmosphere suddenly turned rigid, and I no longer felt control of my own body. I backed up a few steps, eyes still wide in horror.

"Grace—" Integra said. Had I not been frozen, I would have joked and said how that was the first time she actually referred to me using my first name. Not now, and probably not ever.

She was interrupted from saying more by thudding outside in the hall before the door burst open.

"Sir Integra! There's—" I didn't hear the rest of his sentence. I ran. I ran as fast as I could, out the door, using pure memory to guide me out of the mansion's maze. A few times I thought I could hear quiet, sadistic laughter, and the feeling of being watched never left, but I didn't care. I needed to get home. I needed to see… I-I…

_Please… This can't be happening… She's all I've got left, don't take her _I thought while I ran, and finally, I broke through the doors that led outside.

I didn't take time to let my eyes adjust, I ran left, and my eyes adjusted quickly enough on their own whilst I ran. I zipped by something, and I realized it was the soldiers still standing a looking and the plume of smoke that was getting even bigger.

"Grace! No!" I heard Mr. Berk call out. I heard footsteps running after me, first only one pair, but quickly grew to where it sounded like five people were following me.

I didn't stop, I didn't even think of how I was going to get through the woods. I forgot the small flashlight I had stashed in my pocket before I left; I forgot that I couldn't really see in the dark. I forgot most forest predators were nocturnal. I didn't think, there wasn't time.

I dashed by trees, and almost tripped over stumps and fallen trees. I was cut by several stray sticks and branches, and the footsteps behind me were dimming, most likely being left behind.

One side of me collided with sturdy trees on more than one occasion, and finally I could smell the smoke leaking into the forest. I ran faster, this confirming my fear.

Lights were now visible through the trees, and were coming ever so closer as I neared my house, the smoke choking my lungs. I broke through the tree line and stared at the sight before me.

I was frozen. The smoke was unbearable and made my eyes water blurring my sight. I squeezed my eyes shut.

_Please… don't let her be here…_

I opened my eyes and looked to the right of my burning home. There, in the place where it always was from dusk until dawn, was my mom's car… what was left of it. It was charred, and was burning as well. It was on its side, most likely because the fire caused it to explode.

_No…_

"No… No, NO, _NO! _MOM!" I screamed as I started running towards the house.

"Grace, NO!" apparently, Mr. Berk had caught up and was running faster than ever.

I tried to run. I wanted to save her, if I could. He wasn't having that, he lounged and tackled me to the ground.

"NO! LET ME GO! MOM!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, struggling the whole time.

"There's nothing you can do! If you go in there it will kill you!"

"NO IT WON'T! GET OFF OF ME!" The others were catching up by now, emerging from the trees.

"Grace… I'm really sorry…" he said. At first I thought he meant my mom's most probable death, but then one of the other soldiers came over and knelt down next to my still struggling body; Mr. Berk had sat up and was holding my legs down with his knee and my hands behind my back with one hand while the other kept me firmly on the ground. The kneeling soldier pulled a cloth out of his belt and held it up to my mouth.

The lack of fresh air had made me gasping for oxygen, and with the cloth blocking my airways, I had nothing else to do but struggle for breath that wasn't there.

Whatever was on that cloth dulled my senses, my eyesight went first. Then I could no longer hear the blaze of the fire. The smell of smoke no longer bothered me, and the taste left. The last thing I remember is be picked up and brought into the forest.

_Good-bye, my mother. Good-bye my protector.  
_

_You never said "I'm leaving"  
You never said goodbye  
You were gone before I knew it,  
And only God knew why  
A million times I needed you,  
A million times I cried  
If Love alone could have saved you,  
You never would have died  
In Life I loved you dearly  
In death I love you still  
In my heart you hold a place,  
That no one could ever fill  
It broke my heart to lose you,  
But you didn't go alone  
For part of me went with you,  
The day God took you home. _(2)

**1) Yes what kind of 'treasures' are in the basement, I wonder?**

**2) Taken from a funeral poem website, I'm not talented enough to write poetry.**

**A/N: Again, I know it's sad. I have to get Grace good and alone, first; you know, before I can start with the real plot which is what the summary describes. I even think next chapter we'll see the little quotes from the summary in action. So… yeah, we were with Integra basically the whole time. If you read over it again, I even hinted at Alucard a few times, the bastard, laughing at her… Grr… Anyways, sorry this was late. I had a play that I had to practice for all week, so I was gone from 6-8pm for the whole week and even earlier on some other days. Anyways, on with answering reviews!**

SeleneHarrell: Thank you! I try to make characters as realistic as possible, in doing so I usually base it off of a combination of my friends and my self's characteristics.

Shaun-The-Sheep: Thanks again for the review! It seems like a lot of people are saying Graces humor is just like  
theirs… I'm not a stalker, I swear! XD

EmeraldOctober: Haha, very special. Also, there's a reason for her overly hyperness, and that will be explained later, so that was on purpose. And she knew she wouldn't be shot 'cuz Berk said he lived there, remember? And thanks, it's always good to meet fellow procrastinators XD.

**As always, please review! Special offer: I'll give you a cookie :3**

**REVIEW**


	7. Recovery is a Bitch

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Just one question…. How many of you cried when either of the parents died? My mom cried when the dad died and she almost made it through the moms until she got to the poem. I kept telling her to stop comparing herself to the mom, now look where it got her! She's got me comparing myself to Grace, now -_- . Anyways, this is the next chapter… duh. So… let's see where it goes, because while I have the plot thought out, I need to get there first and that's just going to be a 'wing it' kind of thing. So, I give you, chapter 7! :D**

**Edit: Sorry, guys, I would have finished this Friday night/Saturday morning if spyware (the virus thing) hadn't popped up. I looked for an hour to make sure my laptop was virus free and after that I decided that was enough heavy breathing for one night, you know what I mean?**

**You may not know now, but you'll need this later:**

**Irrational/depressing/ridiculous: ^  
Goody-two-shoes/self-preservative/smart/realistic:*  
Regular: _ (basically nothing)**

**Warning: depressing, language, cover your kids'/siblings' eyes (not violent…yet).**

**Disclaimer: *sticks out tongue childishly***

**CHECK OUT THE POLL IN MY PROFILE. NOW BEFORE YOU ALL FORGET.**

Chapter Seven: Recovery is a Bitch

I hadn't moved for a long time. I didn't keep track; I could have been there for as long as weeks or as short as hours, for all I knew. I didn't see the point anymore; I had no real reason to want to live anymore. My social life was already hell; my family was all I really had left.

And they were gone. All of them. My dad… killed by supposed terrorists. My mom… killed by a fire. I had no other family, not that I knew of. There were no grandparents that I knew, no aunts or uncles, certainly no brothers, sisters, or cousins. I had no family friends, my small family tended to be secluded. I had no one. God, I think I'm going emo…

When I had blacked out at the fire, I was apparently carried back to the mansion and put in one of the rooms. Meals were brought to me regularly, but I didn't touch them; this kind of gave me a time frame of how long I'd been there, a few days maybe. I'd either act like I was asleep or just look up at the ceiling. The only time I moved was when I had to go to the bathroom, which since I didn't eat or drink, wasn't very often.

Now, I was lying on my side curled up in a ball, still trying to come out of denial. The recent events hadn't helped my mental arguments; instead it caused them to worsen. Just when it didn't seem possible, right?

The different voices, one being completely ridiculous, one being a goody-two-shoes, and one being… well, more or less what I'm _really_ like. They argued about why this was happening to me. They argued about how others with similar situations handled it… and the absurd side of me saying that they actually didn't really handle it… more like they _ended _it… and weirdly enough, it was sort of like one side of me was trying to get me to do just that. To end it. Thankfully though, the… let's call it my self-preservation side fought against that idea.

_-If you just do it, you won't be so depressed anymore. It will be a huge load off your shoulders! ^_

_-…_

_-…She won't _have _shoulders.*_

_-Which makes it all the better. I find shoulders to be a big burden if you ask me.^_

_-(both * and _) We didn't ask you._

_-Ok… well, look at it this way. You're religious, right? ^_

_-You should know that by now._

_-Whatever. So anyways, in your religion, when you die, you go to heaven if you're good, right?^_

_-Um… yes?_

_-Perfect! You'll get to see _both _of your parents. Not just one, _both._ And isn't that the whole reason why you're depressed?^_

_-Well… yeah, but…_

_-But _WHAT_? ^_

_-Isn't killing yourself considered murder in _his _eyes?_

_-Yeah, so? ^_

_- So, you dumb ass, that's one of the Ten Commandments. There's no way she'll go to heaven by killing herself.*_

_-Exactly what I was going to say. Jeez, it's like you can read minds._

_-…*_

_-Oh, right…_

_-Okay then, don't kill yourself. What else are you going to do? Take a bunch of anti-depressant drugs until you can't feel anymore?^_

_-She can get over-dose doing that.*_

_-Yeah, but then it would be unintentional self-manslaughter!^_

_-Is there even such a thing?_

_-How should I know? You're the one that didn't pay attention in Forensic Science.^_

_-That would be your fault._

_-How so?^_

_-…_

_-…*_

_-Fine, okay. It was my fault. Happy?^_

_-No. Never again._

_-Fine. Be that way. But let me just tell you this: no one has to be a part of your mind to know you keep looking over at that three story balcony over there. ^_

I chased off the arguing thought and rolled over in the bed, now facing the balcony. She… it… whatever you want to call it, the figment of my imagination I guess, was actually pretty much right. Every so often, I would glance at the terrace involuntarily. I wouldn't actually kill myself though; when I was young my mom and I would watch the news and on more than one occasion there would be a suicide report. My mom would constantly tell me to never do that, and I eventually swore to god that I wouldn't. I didn't know it would be this painful though… Is it possible to take back a swear, to apologize for breaking it before doing so?

_-Damn it Grace! Stop talking like that. Yeah, you're going through a hard time but just think of how proud you'll be of yourself when you pull through.*_

_-_If _she pulls through.^_

_-Shut up! Don't you have something better to do?*_

_-No.^_

_-Why are you so intent on killing me?_

_-I don't know. Why not?^_

_-Because it's wrong and sinful in Gods eyes._

_-Ah, but you don't see the big picture. It's not really me who's trying to kill you. It's you who's trying to kill you.^_

_-She's got a point. You're very disturbed, you know that?*_

_-I can't handle this- Ah! Don't you say anything!_

_-~closes her mental mouth~ ^_

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. There was then the voice that I had come to know all too well during my extended stay.

"Miss Grace? It's six o'clock… Oh, dear… still haven't eaten anything…" I heard the clattering of dishes that signified he was gathering the untouched plates before hearing him walk back to the door.

"Oh, and Miss Grace? It is fairly rude to pretend one is sleeping when in fact they are not." The door closed and I tossed in the bed. I heard someone running in the hall outside the door, and then some loud panting.

"Oh, hello Walter. How is she? Has she…?" this voice belonged to Mr. Berk.

"No, unfortunately not. This isn't good for anyone; not eating in three days. I fear we may lose her."

"Has she said anything yet? Maybe she's in shock?"

"No, she hasn't. And perhaps she is in shock." Ha. _Maybe?_

"I'm going to try to talk to her…"

"Very well. Best of luck, Mr. Berk."

Footsteps sounded down the hall, but the door didn't open. I was starting to think Mr. Berk had left when the door knob turned and the door opened. He walked in and closed the door shut quietly behind him.

"Uh… Hey Grace…" he said, and I could just sense the sheepish, hopeful, sad smile on his face.

"I, um… are you even awa-" I turned over to face him and gave him a blank stare.

"Oh. Ah, h-how you hangin' on?"

"By a thread." My voice was a little raspy; I hadn't spoken for a while. I cleared my throat so the next time I spoke would maybe sound better.

"Okay, well… I'm just gonna say it." He walked up and sat on the bed beside me.

"Grace, you gotta eat. You may starve to death if you don't, and you might dehydrate even sooner."

"How do you know that's not what I want?" I said bleakly, staring off into space.

"Grace… this place is huge-"

"So I've noticed." I cut him off. He looked down, slightly irritated at being interrupted. I stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue.

"As I was saying, this place is huge, and if I had to, I'd carry you to one of the many infirmaries myself." I gave him a questioning look.

"This mansion houses soldiers. You didn't actually think none of them would get hurt, did you?"

"I know they get hurt, I guess I just assumed they went to the hospital like… dad did…" I said, stumbling over the last part a bit.

He just looked sympathetically at me and replied, "Only the fatally wounded."

I just nodded my head in understanding and rolled over onto my back.

"Grace I know it hurts, I do. But… life goes on." He told me this as he looked at the drapes to the window.

"I know. Just… not the life I knew, and it wasn't much to begin with." I whispered, staring at the ceiling.

"You know what? I feel sorry for you. But I don't pity you. There are people out there, who have never met or knew their parents, who never had their own home, who don't have friends, who don't have food, who-"

"Leave poor kids in Africa out of this, Mom pulled that one on me many times before."

"I'm not only talking about kids in Africa, Grace. Kids all over the worlds, grown-ups all over the world, hell, people in general, suffer many problems on a daily basis."

He sounded so sad and in pain I looked at him curiously. He was now face down, eyes shut, fists clenched.

"People like me… short of never having food or friends," he finished. I looked away.

"You never met your parents?"

"No."

"Heh," I laughed humorlessly, "You know, I don't know which is worse, never knowing your parents, or having both die within a year in front of you."

"At least if you knew them then you know they loved you."

"Not always. Don't look at me like that; I wasn't referring to my parents. But… what about knowing your parents loved you and knowing you're never going to see them again?" I said near the brink of tears, but I knew they wouldn't fall. I wouldn't let them.

"Hmm… well, I guess they're both pretty bad." It was silent for a little while, we were both thinking.

"Mr. Berk?"

"Hmm?"

"How did you end up here?"

"At the organization?" I nodded, and he continued, "Well… as you know I was an orphan, and I never got adopted. All I wanted to do growing up was help people, but when the time finally came for me to get a job, I wasn't qualified to become a cop, and I couldn't join the army. I didn't want to be a doctor or a fireman, and I was running out of options. When I went back to the army hoping they might make an acceptation, they turned me down, but not before giving me a bit of advice. They told me that a… anti-terrorist association had just gotten a huge toll on them here in England about two years before then. So I flew over her and-"

"You're not from England?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"Heh, no. You couldn't tell from my accent? I'm all American. Anyways, I flew over here and you just wouldn't believe the amount of destruction there was. I don't think there was a single country that faced such devastation, and I knew right away I was where I belonged. I helped clean up this very city back into its former glory from the very ruins its war left it in."

"You were in the clean up in the War of England? We talked about that thing for weeks in history! How old were you?"

"About the same age as Sir Integra, 22. That was around… oh what is it? 13 years ago?"

"Ha, lucky thirteen."

"Yeah, go figure."

"Okay, let me up."

"Huh?"

"Let me up," I said again, "These little talks do wonders. I'm still depressed and whatnot, but hell there's got to be people out there worst off than me, right?" he nodded his head. I kicked him from under the covers.

"Ow! What was that for?" he said, jumping up and rubbing his ass.

"To get you off the bed, I couldn't get up. The covers trapped me," I replied matter-of-factly, swinging my feet over the edge of the bed.

"You could have just asked."

"I did. Twice," I countered.

"So, what do you plan to do, now that you're er… recovering?"

"That depends. Is the mansion up for exploration?" I asked, stretching and cracking my back.

"Uh, yeah. Everything above ground level is." He scratched his head.

"Oh. I can't go in the basement?"

"NO!" he answered a little too quick and seriously. I raised an eyebrow.

"Sir Integra has… 'private' things in the basement. I don't think she'd appreciate anyone down there," he said, now more in control of his self.

"What if we avoid the private things?"

"There's nothing else down there _except _for the private things. Wait, _we_?"

"Yeah, I figured if I go with someone she trusts she'd be more willing to let me explore the basement." I stated.

Mr. Berk turned around and started walking towards the door. Then he stopped and turned around,

"I'm afraid there are maybe… oh, three people in this house that she actually trusts. Two of which I hope you never have to meet. Well, I guess only one but they are sort of like a packaged deal, you know what I mean?" he asked, looking like he hoped he made sense.

"Not really… but I think I caught the gist of it," I said, a little confused.

"Alright. Well, let's go bother Sir Integra, see what we can do about that curiosity of yours." With that, he continued out the door before leaning against the wall outside. I gave him a puzzled look.

"You should probably get dressed first," he stated, chuckling a bit at the end. I looked down and for the first time notices I was in some flannel white pajamas. The shock didn't last long, because I knew I wasn't the one who changed myself into these cloths. After a minute, Mr. Berk staggered back a bit, meeting for the first time my death glare.

"W-what? W-w-why are you looking at me like that?!"

"You know DAMN well! Couldn't you have left me in my own cloths!?" I yelled at him.

"But I wasn't the one who changed you," he said, recovering.

"Then who did?" I said a little horrified. This is one thing but if a stranger saw me… *gulp* naked, then I think I would just die of embarrassment.

"Uh… one of the maids?" he said, though it sounded more like a question. I didn't buy it, but I went with it. It was better than all the horrible scenarios _I_ thought of.

I sighed, then asked, "Okay, fine. Where are the clothes I can use to get dressed in?"

"Well, they're in your room. All your belongings from your other house didn't fit in your smaller one, so we put it in storage here."

Without another word, I went back into my room. I went straight to the dresser and, sure enough, when I opened it there were all the clothes I had been searching for after we moved.

_At least I still have some of my own clothes…_ I looked on top of the dresser and there lay all of the things I had in my pocket that day. The flashlight, my iPod (thank God), cell phone, and the pocket knife.

Going back to the clothes, I picked a black long-sleeved shirt that had a red, ripped looking "X" on it on the back and three red slashes going across the front. It also had holes where the thumbs could go at the end of the sleeves. I picked out a pair of dark blue/grey jeans that had a chain hanging from the belt loop and tucked into the pocket, also having rips at the knees. I took a studded belt and my white and black Airwalk "skater shoes" (even though I don't skate). This was probably my favorite outfit, just because I thought it had some sense of style. I got dressed in the bathroom and quickly ran a comb I had found in the dresser through my bed head. I also got lucky and found a toothbrush and toothpaste along with mouthwash. Don't need anyone passing out from bad breath, do we?

"Jeez, Sir Integra must have liked my mom a lot… Does she do this with all the widows' families?" I asked out of curiosity after rejoining Mr. Berk. The pain of the question was there, but I need to learn to get over it. It's sort of like what my history teacher once said, "If we couldn't use any words that offended people, there would be nothing of the English language left." So, I couldn't take offence to things like widow or… orphan.

"Well, I'm not sure. Maybe you can ask her? I don't think it's very often she gets orphans from recently widowed wives of her soldiers." I simply nodded my head. See? Best not to get offended.

We started walking in a direction that I assumed was toward Sir Integra's office. It wasn't long before we were passing the staircase, so I knew where we were now. Then, a sudden flash of memory and fantasy flashed in my mind.

"Mr. Berk?"

"Please, Grace. It seems like we're friends, right?" I nodded my response. "Just call me by my first name." he finished with a smile.

"Okay. What's your first name?" I asked.

"Dan, short for Daniel."

"Okay… Dan…" he nodded his encouragement. "I saw this guy at the soldiers' funeral. He was with a girl that wears the same uniform as you. Big guy, if I had to guess I'd say his favorite color is red. Know him?" I laughed mentally. My favorite color was red, too.

"Um… not really. I know the girl though, Seras." He sounded uncomfortable. "She's in our squad."

"So if you dumb it down… she's in your class?"

He laughed, "Yeah, I guess you could put it that way."

"Alright… Is um… is Seras… sick?"

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Why do you ask?" he sounded guarded, now.

"Well, at the funeral, I could have sworn I saw her cry, and the tear was red."

There was a short silence, before he said, "It could have been the sun's reflection." With that, he started walking again. I just stood there. _But…_ _She was in the shade of a tree…_

I quickly caught up with him, "Well if you know the girl, you at least have to know _about _the guy, right?"

He whipped around and said, "Why do you care?"

I furrowed my brows and looked down.

_Should I tell him?_

_Sure, why not. Right now he seems to be the most trustworthy, and this isn't really serious, right?*_

_Okay…_

"He's been accompanying me in my nightmares." I said plainly.

He looked a little confused for a second before apprehension kicked in, then that look too disappeared.

"We need to speak with Sir Integra." He swirled around and started walking towards her office again, I followed suit. We got there in about a minute.

He didn't even bother to knock, he opened the door and slipped in, but not before telling me to stay put. Ha, just like old times.

I crossed my arms and slid down to the floor against the wall. As soon as Daniel went in, you could hear Sir Integra yelling at him; she obviously wasn't used to ill manners.

"What is the meaning of this? Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

"I thought this was urgent; correct me if I'm wrong." he said, sounding perfectly calm.

"Very well, what's so urgent that you would interrupt me?"

"She's been having nightmares," he stated, a little too modestly.

"She…?"

"Grace, Sir."

"Oh. That's it? It's perfectly normal for her to be having nightmares, even if the recent events hadn't occu-"

"Alucard's been in them." So he _did _know him. I'm getting really sick of being lied to…

I heard a pen drop onto wood; I also heard a familiar chuckle.

_It… it couldn't be… could it? _I got up off the floor and strolled over to the door, peaking through the thin gap in the door frame.

_It is… _

"Explain yourself," Integra said to Alucard, the man from the funeral and my more recent nightmares.

He simply chuckled, "Explain what, master? I've done nothing I assure you." Obedient much?

"Then explain why she's been having nightmares that include you, even though she couldn't have seen you more than the once." She said, narrowing her eyes.

"How should I know? The human mind is a mystery to me, much less an adolescent's mind." He replied with a shrug.

"There's another thing too, Sir." Dan said. Integra waited for him to go on.

"She saw Seras cry." Alucard chuckled yet again.

_Jeez, he's worse than a drunk puppy on happy crack… _His smile widened.

Integra asked, "What did you tell her?"

"I told her it was probably the sun's reflection, Sir."

"I'm going to assume she didn't buy it?"

"I don't think so, Sir." My right eye twitched. _I'm not telling anyone anymore secrets till I know for sure I can trust them,_

"How did you get her to talk so much so quickly?" asked a surprised Walter. I didn't even know he had been standing there.

"I told her what we had in common." Dan responded. Walter nodded his head.

Integra sighed, "Is there anything else?"

"Actually there is. And it's not very good, either."

"More bad news?" Alucard asked, a grin on his face. He was enjoying deception way too much…

"For everyone else, I'm sure." This made his grin widen.

"Alright then, let's have it." Integra said.

"She wants to explore."

"And?" she was obviously finding it hard to believe that was bad, hesitation appeared though, and Alucard let out a snicker.

"… She wants to explore the basement." Dan finally said. Alucard burst out laughing. _How could they not think I'd be hearing them? _I wondered.

"No. Absolutely not." Dan started shuffling his feet.

"Were you actually considering of taking her down their?" she asked in disbelief.

"She's been known to run off, I figured might as well so she wouldn't go off on her own. Or worse, at night."

"So you want me to let you take her down into the basement with the monsters during the day?" Dan nodded his head.

"And you say if I don't she will most likely wonder off on her own, and in the worst case at night?" he nodded again.

There was a long pause. "Bring her in," she finally said, getting back to her paperwork. Dan started crossing the floor to get to the door, and I calmly went and sat where I had been before he went inside.

The door opened and I was already looking at him. He sighed, "You were listening, weren't you?"

"Nurse at the old school said I had 20/20 vision along with flawless hearing. In other words, it was hard not to." I said, the corner of my moth twitching.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know I won't trust you for a while." I said while I stood up.

He sighed, mumbled sorry, and motioned for me to go through the open doors.

The man was gone. I looked around casually, but I couldn't see any other exit except for the window.

"Here comes hell…" I heard Dan mumble.

"Miss Rockwell, tell me what you told Mr. Berk," Sir Integra told me.

"He's told you all I told him, Sir," I answered.

"Is there anything you haven't told him?"

"Yes," I stated. It was silent when she said,

"Well?"

"Oh, you want me to tell you?" she nodded, getting annoyed. She must not have dealt with vague teens before.

"Okay… but they're just dreams. They don't mean anything."

"You'd be surprised," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay… the guy that was just in here that doesn't seem to be here anymore," I started, watching both her eyebrows go up, and she decided to speak up,

"How do you know it was him?"

"The voice and laughter was the same. The crack in the door helps," I said sheepishly. I heard Dan mutter something along the lines of, "God, she must think we're crazy." I turned to him, "You know _nothing _about crazy." He opened his mouth, then closed it.

"Go on, Miss Rockwell," Sir Integra said.

"Anyways, 'Alucard's' been attending my nightmares, lately. He's been… killing these people that emerge from forests with red eyes, and apparently sharp nails," I added the last part, remembering what they did to my dad in one dream.

Dan was staring at me in disbelief, and Integra looked a bit shocked, which probably didn't happen very often.

"When did these dreams start?" she said, at last.

"Well, I've always had nightmares for as long as I can remember. They got really bad about a month or so before dad died, and then Alucard appeared the very night we moved into the 'new' house." She nodded.

"You're excused, Miss Rockwell." She then turned to Walter and started talking in a hushed voice. I nodded then walked out the door.

The walk back to what was now my room was silent; Dan stayed behind to 'discus' private matters. That was fine, I had a pretty good idea of where I was going.

When I reached my room, I decided to see what all had been stored here. I went through the closet and brought out a few things, and I also took out some stuff that was in the chest as the foot of the bed. I set all my finding on either the side stand or the bed and started going through it all. The first thing I took out was a photo album and a few boxes that contained a ton of pictures. I started flipping through the album and smiled at all the warm memories it brought back. There were some shots of me, mom, and dad throughout the whole thing. One showed when we went on vacation to the United States, another where we took a trip to Paris. I was really young then, and I only remember scraps of the vacations. I then started looking through pictures in the shoe box. I got very confused, very quickly. There were pictures of a strange man in a lot of them; in some of them he was holding a baby. In others, he was with mom. They looked really happy…

_Maybe they were best friends or something, _I thought. I then came across a little wooden, decorated box about the size of a book that had a thousand or so pages. I tried to open the box, but it was locked. I looked for a key, hoping maybe I would be able to find it, but it wasn't with the rest of the pictures.

I moved on to different things, hoping to find the key later. If it came down to it I would break the lock to get it open but I preferred not. I opened a cardboard box and there were a bunch of books stacked within it. The books belonged to my parents, for I recognized a few mom and dad would read in their spare time. Dad preferred more modern books, but mom was a fan of the classics. I pulled out a bunch of books by Anne Rice, which my mom liked, and I also found the Harry Potter series that I always found dad reading. I dug deeper into a box and laughed aloud at my mom's copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula, considering I was in a mansion owned by someone name Hellsing. Then I reached the bottom, and I put all the books on the dresser.

I started up with the next box, and I was pleasantly surprised.

Had I looked all over, high and low, at my house for the attic box, I never would have found it. It was right in front of me, and had been here the whole time. I took out my dad's uniform and carefully unfolded it. A dog tag with his name on it fell out onto the bed. I looked at it for a minute before picking it up and wrapping it around my wrist. Then I looked on the sleeve for the patch that usually occupied a space there. I found it easily enough. It was a black and white checkered shield that said 'Hellsing' at the top, in the first red space it said, "We Are on a Mission from God," and in the other red space it showed a picture of a rook looking type thing. I set the uniform aside; it wasn't much use to me now. I continued to look through the box, it was mainly filled with attic junk covered in dust, but when I got to the bottom it there was a little jewelry kind of box, they kind guys would propose to girls with. I opened it, and inside laid a gorgeous ruby ring, mine and my mom's birthstone. There was also… a key. My eyes widened and I eagerly took the key and tried to open the wooden box. It worked. My eyes enlarged at its contents.

Inside were pictures of my mom in a hospital bed holding a baby; a girl from the color of her bow. But it couldn't possibly be me, because next to her holding her hand, looking like the proudest man on earth, was the man from the other pictures. I kept flipping through the fifty or so pictures that were there, and each new one gave me more and more of a headache. It was like, on a set timeline, it showed the girl growing up, and it started looking more and more like me, the man in each and every one of them. Then it just stopped, the girl looking about two years old.

"That can't be right," I said to myself. As a reflex of looking for something more, I turned the picture over and found a date: 2001.

_No way…_

I picked up the very first picture I found in the box and turned it over: It's a Girl! July, 1999.

"That's impossible…" I said, getting frustrated. That was my birthday. I looked at the man in the picture again, and for some reason, this time his appearance struck me as familiar though I held no memory of him. I actually held no memory until after about three years old, but that's normal… right? But… who was this man…

Out of curiosity, I picked up the photo album and took out the very first picture that had me in it. I flipped it over: 2001.

_It's like I had a secret past… and this is the continuation… _I threw the picture and it landed on the dresser next to the books. Something caught my eye.

_No… that's not even…_

I got up and walked over to the dresser that happened to have a mirror and looked in the reflection of all the books. Dracula was in the back, leaning against everything else, and its reflection scared me.

_Dracula's reflection… Alucard? _

I picked up the book and flipped through the pages until I found what I was looking for, a description of Dracula.

"Let's see… red eyes? Well in the dream… Check.  
Sharp nails? He wears gloves… unknown.  
Fangs… you know what, now that you mention it…  
But white hair and a mustache? No way, that can't be him, he's got black hair."

I started reading from the very beginning of the book, just to see if I could have possibly missed something. Around page 80-90 though, Harker found Dracula in his coffin and his hair was beginning to look dark, his features younger. I almost dropped the book.

The walk to Integra's office wasn't very memorable; it was like I was in a trance. I walked normally, but my eyes were wide and probably horrified looking. I reached her office and hesitated before knocking on the double doors, and walked in when I heard the 'O.K.'

I walked straight up to her desk until I was two meters away and asked,

"Sir, what was your father's name?"

"Arthur, why?"

"What about your grandfather's?" I asked, without answering.

"Abraham, but why do you ask s-" I had dropped the book and taken a few steps backwards. Laughter erupted behind me and I whipped around to see Alucard, a.k.a. Dracula, not six meters from me.

He grinned, while I heard Integra calling Walter over the mic, everything got drowned out, and for a moment I forgot all about the mysterious photos.

"Holy sh-" I started to say, before I heard a plop, and realized I had fallen on the ground. Everything went black, the last thing I remember was Dan's and Integra's yelling, and Dracula's sadistic laughter.

Well… wasn't that an eventful day?

_Midnight skies always  
contrast Blood Red Eyes._

**A/N: VOTE IN MY POLL! (Just want that to be the first thing you see.) Finally done! The end was just a little thing I came up with, I thought it was fitting. So, Grace found out about 'stuff' in this chapter and what do ya know? She's got more questions from mysterious photographs now. I don't think she needs the suspense… lol. So… yeah, suffered from writer's block from when Dan was walking into her room, couldn't figure out what to make him say. I think the chapter was pretty good, I'm happy with it, it got more into Hellsing and whatnot.  
Reviewing Reviews :D-**

Shaun-The-Sheep: Thank you so much, that's exactly what I as a writer wants to hear. This chapter was a little funny so hopefully that overcomes the sadness? Thanks again!

Can't Sign In LOL :D: Thanks you for the great review, I like it when people tell me they like my story, or even when I just get criticism. So thanks bunches! :D

SeleneHarrell: Thank you, awesome review yet again, SeleneHarrell. Lol. Be happy though, I'm pretty sure the really sad parts are over.

Anonamous - Who Me?: funny name. Thanks for the review, again I really like the praise :3. I'm not sure if there will be any OC/CANON romance, from what I've seen it's really hard to make those kind of stories good, so I'm probably just going to settle as friends or something. You know?

**For those of you who read this far in the a/n, the next chapter will most likely contain what the shown summary is (the first summary you see every in chapter). And, just in case you forgot, REVIEW! AND VOTE IN POLL! Reviews are much loved, and if you look, I updated after I got more reviews (hint*hint). Also, the story title might be changing soon, so you may want to check that out unless you want to spend forever looking for it, cuz that's what tends to happen to me… Till next update!**

**REVIEW! Please?**


	8. Ignorance Is Bliss

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Thanks for the few reviews I got, they were great. I got a question that had to do with… uh… well, story knowledge… stuff… Anyways, the question was basically asking when the story took place. Well, the manga/anime was placed in the 1990's, more specifically 1999. And, depending if I want Grace to have a birthday to turn 16 or have her already turned 16, this story is going to take place in 2014/2015ish. Just thought I'd answer that. Also, I meant to say this in the a/n last chapter, but forgot. I realize 15 or so years probably isn't really enough time to have London put back together after all the war chaos, but I wanted Integra to still be young and unwrinkly. Thus, the voided last chapter of the manga. But enough rambling, you want to read the story, otherwise you wouldn't be here.**

**Warning: language**

**Disclaimer: *waves mockingly***

Chapter Eight:

_It was bright, abnormally bright… or at least on one side it was. The other side looked into a blackness that could only be taken as an abyss. I was standing in the middle, balancing on a small ledge that on either side looked into the gloom of a bottomless void, bright and dark. In reality, I wouldn't be able to stand there for hours on in, so I figured out after a while that it was just a dream. So, I had been walking on said ledge, wondering along and contemplating on where it led. I stopped when a mist rolled in from the light side, and shade started coating the murky area. Reminding myself it was just a dream, and that I should be thankful the nightmares had not yet come, I walked on, continuing through the haze. I (literally) looked over on the bright side and whispers became audible though incomprehensible, too faint to make any sense out of. They started rising in volume before it just became a gentle hum of voices, like you would hear in a school cafeteria without the clattering of silverware or breaking out of fights. When I turned my head to the right, to the shadows, I could hear crying and screams of agony and torture. I quickly faced forward telling myself to _never_ do that again. Dream or not, screaming could never be a good sign._

_Continuing on, I found that is was silent when I kept my head forward; there wasn't any noise to remind me of friendly conversation or tormented suffering. It was just silent, and before long I couldn't stand it, so I turned back to the left to be surrounded by soothing chatter, and this way I stayed, to comfort myself and ease my mind. My thoughts couldn't help but look at the irony of the situation; the two sides somewhat looked and sounded like the two sides heaven and hell. I stopped and turned my whole body to face the light side, and figures appeared, human figures walking effortlessly on the mist. I reached out to see if I could join them, but I was blocked by an unseen force. _

_A figure started fading in right in front of me, and I almost staggered backwards at who it was. To my surprise, I was caught by a similar unseen force on the dark side, so I just looked like I was leaning on an invisible wall._

"_Mom?" I finally asked, eyes wide. She nodded, and gave a sad smile._

"_This is a dream, right?" I asked, and she shrugged._

I'll take that as a yes, _I thought. Her lips pulled into a gentle, sad smile as another figure dissolved beside her._

"_Dad," I said in acknowledgment. I was weary, Dad never appeared in a dream he wasn't killed in, and this made me cautious._

"_Hey, Grace," he said lovingly. I turned looked away._

"_I'm glad to see the two of you are together and happy," I stated bluntly._

"_Grace, you know if love were enough, we'd still be with you, right?" mom asked._

"_Ohh, how original," I said with a hint of bitterness._

"_It's true, though, I never would have left you if I had a choice," she retaliated, and Dad nodded in agreement._

"_That doesn't really matter now, does it?" I spat._

"_Why are you acting like this? It's normal to miss loved ones, but you act like you hate us," dad chimed in._

"_That's because you left me! Both of you, damn it! I wasn't even over you when mom went and got herself burnt up!" I yelled near tears. They looked at me with hurt in their eyes._

"_I don't think that's all of it," dad said, a trace of understanding cross his face. Mom looked at him then back to me when she understood what he meant, a bit horror stricken._

"_You know, don't you?" she asked._

"_About what?" I said innocently. There were too many lies in my life right now that she could be talking about anyone of them._

"_Hellsing's secret. You found out didn't you?" Dad said, determination written all over his face, for what I didn't know._

"_Oh." I started thinking about what happened before I fell asleep, but I couldn't remember going to bed. I remembered going through mom's storage stuff… Then the photos… then the book… then I had gone to Sir Hellsing's office and…_

"_Oh," I said again, completely caught up. I couldn't remember going to bed because I had fainted from pure shock. Then I began getting really angry, and I lashed out from realizing my shock._

"_HELLSING IS HOUSING A VAMPIRE? WHAT THE HELL?!" I started screaming at them, but a little more towards dad._

"_Don't say that Grace, especially not here," mom tried to calm me down._

"_What? Hell?" I asked._

"_Yes, now stop saying it," Dad finished for her._

"_So… you're mad at us because Hellsing is using a vampire?" mom asked._

"_Well, no."_

"_That we left you?"_

"_No!" I was getting irritated, now._

"_Then what?"_

"_I'm sick and tired of _everything_! Okay?! I'm tired of people being taken away from me! I'm tired of not knowing what will happen! But most of all, I'm tired of all these… these… GOD DAMNED LIES! And there's nothing you can say about that because God really does damn lies!_

"_Yesterday I was a normal high school girl. Today I just found out the supernatural _actually _exist and that the stories are probably mostly true. Tomorrow… who knows? That's why I'm so pissed. I hate being lied to, especially by those that harnessed all of my trust. And then, only then, you have to add that to your deaths."_

_They were silent for a moment before mom spoke up._

"_I'm sorry, Grace. And it wasn't your fault, we should have told you sooner."_

"_Yeah, well, that doesn't matter much now, does it? Now your both gone, and thanks to those pictures of yours, I don't know who you are anymore, or who I am for that matter." I said. Mom's eyes widened and Dad's held a look of apprehension._

"_Muhahaha… Muhahahahaha! Just the way it needs to be…" I looked to my left at the direction I had been walking from, and my eyes met a figure shrouded in darkness, accompanied by red eyes and white fangs that were in a smile. The smile looked familiar, but only so that I thought I could only have seen it once."_

"_Grace?" Dad said, distrustful of the figure._

"_I think I've seen him before," I said, furrowing my brows._

_The figure's smile expanded and took a step forward. The shrouds started separating from him and glowing eyes appeared within them, all the while advancing, though too slow for me to notice. My parents however, did. When the shroud started sprouting multiple fang filled mouths, that was the end of the line for my parents._

"_Grace," Dad said, and I turned to him. He swallowed, and continued, "He can't get to us, just like you can't. He can't hurt us. You-"_

"_Grace, just run!" Mom shouted at me and the shroud broke into a run._

They… grew legs… _I thought. Then I broke out laughing, and I almost fell from laughing so hard; I had to hold my sides._

"_Grace?! What are you doing? Run!" Dad yelled, anxiously looking from me to the fast approaching red eyed shadows. _

_I just continued laughing and said, "Why? It's not like they can hurt me in my dreams, I'll wake up sooner or lat- OW!" I looked at my arm and the large gash that a dagger they had just thrown left behind._

"_Ow… that actually hurts…"_

"_Grace, RUN!" my parents shouted, and they didn't have to tell me again; I booked it out of there so fast I could have sworn I was flying._

"_It's just a dream. It's just a dream. It's just a dream. It's just a dream."_

"_You keep telling yourself that." I glanced behind me for a second and that cost me more pain; a knife whizzed by my face and skimmed across my cheek._

"_God damn it! Stop doing that!" I yelled at them, and laughter broke out through the swarm. Now I was getting annoyed; being lied to and being laughed at were huge pet peeves of mine. My fear vanished and I was about to turn around to face them (after all, it _was_ just a dream) but my foot caught on the narrow ledge we had been running on and I fell face first into yet another invisible wall: one that was in front of me._

I'm boxed in… _I thought, feeling all three invisible walls and looking at the approaching monsters._

_They all stopped in front of me, 5 yards away. They were all fully clothed now; they also had all their limbs, though they didn't look human. They had a human outline, but they radiated shadows and they had no facial or body features. I decided to speak. _

"_Why are you here?"_

"_I don't think I need reason to invade dreams." The crowd parted and revealed the first figure._

"_No, I meant why are you here and not over there?" I asked, pointing to the hell side._

_He chuckled, "Perhaps it's because I have not yet _truly _'died'. Therefore, I am the same as you. Except, when I finally die, I'll have a place. I know where I'm going. You however, don't. You're trapped for all time, just as you are now." He smiled at my confusion, and I remember where I had seen him. It was on that night that my whole life started changing._

"_You were the one outside Dad's hospital window…" I whispered. I laughed then; I had been recognizing people in my dreams a lot, lately._

_He laughed as well, "Well, aren't you a smart one?" He raised his hand and put them in a snapping condition, "Ciao." And he snapped. A few of the shrouds started tossing shadows at me. It wasn't until they were mere inches away the objects shed their shadows and revealed the daggers they had been throwing at me. The first pierced my arm, another my leg, the third my side. It stung, bad. More than regular knives, this felt like burning. I cried out._

"_See you soon," and with that, they _all _threw the daggers._

"AHH!" I woke with a start, my eyes still closed, and something trying to suppress my hands. I screamed again, and jammed my knee into their ribs. Whoever it was let go of my wrists and stumbled back.

"Ow! Son of a _bitch_!" I opened my eyes at a familiar voice.

"What the hell, Grace?" Dan said, gasping for air. Apparently I had knocked the air out of him.

I was back in my room, in my bed. I gulped, and my hands went to my abdomen, because that's where all the daggers were about to strike. I sighed in relieve at two things: one, I didn't look or feel like Swiss cheese. Two, I was still in the cloths I fainted in.

I looked back up to Dan who was no longer doubled over.

"What were you restraining me for?" I asked, though I was sure I already knew the answer.

"You were screaming bloody murder and tried hitting anyone who touched you. But what I want to know is, what the hell did you knee me for!?" He coughed.

"Because you were restraining me," I replied, as if it were obvious. He shook his head and went back to trying to catch his breath.

I laid back on the bed and said, "It's a vicious cycle." He laughed, and then coughed.

"Damn it…" he muttered.

"Sorry, I wouldn't have done it if I knew it was you… well I probably would have but I wouldn't have done it as hard." I apologized with a sheepish smile.

He chuckled a bit and only winced slightly.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

"Not too long, twenty or so hours. What was happening that caused you to do that, anyway? Alucard wasn't scaring the crap outta you again, was he?"

"Alucard? Who's… Wait, you mean that wasn't a dream? That was real!?" I said, seeing if he would take the bait. He did. His eyes widened sort of like a kid does when they accidentally rat themselves out.

"Relax, I'm only kidding. No, Alucard wasn't even in my dream, surprisingly. Something weirder was, and they had a thing for sharp objects and confusion," I said, propping myself up on my elbows. His face had changed from 'Omigod, she thought it was a dream!' to 'Omigod, I'm going to strangle you for mocking me!' in two seconds flat. That was hilarious, and I showed it.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked, getting frustrated.

"The look on your face is priceless!" I said, rolling back and clutching my sides.

He was silent for a second before he asked, "You're sleep deprived and slap-happy, aren't you?" I burst out laughing again.

"Yup, or I'm just in some sort of shock, hasn't really registered yet." I was rocking on the bed now, knees curled up to my chest.

He shook his head in a way that clearly said 'Ugh, teenagers…'

"So watcha need vampy for? Terrorists too tough for ya?" I asked, breaking the silence. I sounded way too happy for my depressed state. I felt like I was high on happy crack.

"The 'terrorists' themselves are vampires, since you asked." I turned around to the voice of Sir Integra; she had somehow opened the door and had been standing in the threshold for god knows how long. I erupted with laughter. Again.

"She seems to be taking this fairly well," Walter said as he came in and set some dishes on a tray.

"I am, aren't I? So what am I on?" I turned my head to Dan at the last part. He sat there dumbstruck.

"What?"

"Oh please, I'm not as stupid as my academics show, I'm fully aware that I'm on some kind of anti-depressant-drug-type-thing. I actually feel like I just had 20 Pixie Sticks candy. Let me tell you, last time I did that I could have sworn I had a hangover without a drop of alcohol," I declared, and I added a few giggles in between.

Sir Hellsing raised an eyebrow at Dan and his mouth gaped open like a fish.

"I swear I don't know what she's taking about!" he exclaimed, though it was clear he did.

She sighed, "To change the subject, I came down here because I couldn't hear myself think with all the screaming, and I was on the other side of the mansion for Pete's sake. And when I get here what do I find? A soldier on the ground and a laughing child talking about nightmares. And how anyone laughs while discussing Alucard is beyond me." She got irritated looks from both me and Dan, him because she pointed out what I had done and me for being called a child.

"Just try to keep it down. And no more anti-depressants, understood?" She looked at Dan.

"Yes Sir…"

"Good."

She started to walk away with Walter trailing behind when I realized how lightly she went over the 'terrorist' vampire thing, and how that's why they needed Mr. Big and Scary.

"Uh, Sir?" She and Walter both paused and glanced over their shoulders.

"Can I talk to you about the 'vampire' thing? In the past I usually came out of shock when I understood the situation better, so…?"

"Fine then, hurry up." She waited patiently as I got out of the bed and scurried to the door.

I walked along side Integra and Walter until he turned down a separate hall. Dan had already wondered off to go train some more, though how someone trains to kill things that were already dead was a subject I didn't understand.

We arrived at the familiar double doors soon enough. We walked in, and I sat when she motioned me to do so.

"Are you capable of carrying out serious conversation, because what I am about to tell you is no laughing matter."

"Perfectly capable, you'll just have to dismiss the occasional giggle," I replied, but try as I might, I couldn't keep a straight face.

"Very well. As you already found out in what I must say record timing, we hunt vampires, and ironically enough our trump card himself is a vampire. We've been doing so for generations through the Hellsing bloodline, and we rely on secrecy. We are the Holy Order of Protestant Knights, originally led by Abraham Van Helsing, my grandfather. Our mission is to protect the Queen and our country by ridding it of the undead race, thus, 'We Are On a Mission From God.'"

I waited for her to continue, when she didn't I decided to ask, "What are you doing with vampy on your side?" She raised her brow at the nickname.

"I trust you are familiar with the novel 'Dracula', are you not?"

"I am."

"Everything in the book is true, save for the count himself being killed, and a few exaggerated points. However, Abraham enslaved the count, and ever since he has either been locked away, or on a leash held by an heir of Abraham. Which, of course, landed him with me."

"Vampy was locked up?" I couldn't help but give a smug smile.

"Yes, but he isn't now, and he's known to drift through walls and floors." I caught the meaning behind her words, 'If he catches you mocking his imprisonment I won't be able to hold him back,' but I smiled on, ignoring the entailed meaning. I scratched at my arm.

"I was going to ask you before, so I'll ask now. You don't normally take in orphans do you? Or is that just me?" I said, remembering Dan's and mines chat on the way to her office the day before.

"No, this would be the first time that both parents have died where they had a child. And, it's the first time they've both died and didn't have any family or friends to send you to."

"So are you going to send me to an orphanage?" I asked warily.

"No."

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

"You know too much, you've been informed of classified information that ninety percent of the world will go a life time without knowing. We can't just let you go with knowledge only the highest of our government should know."

_I wouldn't have known if you didn't tell me… _I almost said this, but thought better of it. "So I wouldn't even be able to go if I wanted to?"

"No."

"Is this a permanent thing?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On if you suddenly get a severe case of amnesia." I just looked at her blankly.

"How do you know if I'm faking?"

"I wouldn't but thanks for the heads up." My right eye twitched. She was filling out paper work, which made her look unfocused on the conversation, but it was quite obvious that she was. If I wasn't able to leave, it was like this was my own not-so-little prison. Not that I didn't want to stay here, I had nowhere else to go. But it was the sheer fact that I felt I was being deprived of freedom that made my stomach upset. Then I cheered up; if I had gone to an orphanage, it would have been the exact same, aside from the fact that this is a mansion and orphanages are, well… not.

"Okay, then, I'm assuming that you don't just want me being a couch potato here, so…?"

"You will be our new errand boy, and will help Walter out with his chores. Unless of course, you'd rather train with the mercenaries?" Her lips turned up in a teasing smile, and I laughed, hard.

"Dan's a mercenary? Oh that's just… wow, he's never going to live that one down. A mercenary pretending to be a teacher," I chuckled. "But no, I'll stick with errand _girl_." I put extra emphasis on the word girl because I didn't like being called a guy.

"Alright, then. Now onto different matters… your mother's funeral." My smile disappeared.

"It doesn't have to be a real funeral, no one would come, no one knew her," I said somberly.

"Then should I just schedule a private burial?"

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

One Month Later

It had been a month since I basically moved into Hellsing Mansion, a month since I had been their errand girl. And about three weeks since moms 'funeral'. Sir Integra got a private pastor, and Dan went with me to the private setting at the cemetery.

Even though I was only 15, Walter started teaching me to drive in his spare time because part of running errands meant going into London, and that's well over an hour's walk. So, from then till now, I had been learning to drive when Walter had the time, and sometimes on my own. Today was the first day I was to drive to London and pick up the groceries, which used to be Walter's job until I showed up.

"Here, Miss Grace." Walter had stopped calling me Miss Rockwell after the first week when I asked him to please drop the last name, but I couldn't get him to drop the Miss, so I just gave up and went with it. He handed me two plastic cards.

"Is this a fake driver's license and ID? A little illegal isn't it?" I asked.

"Well, technically if you just told a police officer you were with Hellsing, regardless if they knew what it means, they are required to let you go. It just seems easier this way, though." I nodded in agreement.

"You'll also be needing these," he handed me a credit card and the folded grocery list that was probably a mile long. Hey, gotta feed a miniature army, right? "Now remember to follow all traffic laws and for god's sake put on your seat belt."

"Sorry, old habits die hard." I said, getting in the new car we had been practicing in and strapping in.

"It only takes 21 times to break or make habits," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, and 72.5% of all statistics are made up," I smiled back, and he chuckled.

"Don't forget there's a back to the list, and try to be quick, I'm going to need help with fixing supper."

"Will do."

_He really is a good guy, _I thought. And with that, I drove out through the big, black, iron gates, and for the first time in what felt like years, I was heading to London.

About twenty minutes later, I drove past a museum that I never got to go to but had been wanting to for a while and made a mental note to see if I could go sometime.

I didn't notice the tall blond guy with a scarred face that was leading a group of kids eyeing my license plate.

**A/N: Yay, I'm done :D I didn't like the ending of the chapter, but I didn't know where I'd stop if not there, you know?**

**Do I have you guys confused from the dream? I hope I do, that's what I was going for :D. Sorry Alucard fans, no vampy for you this chapter, but if I get my way I'm hoping for him to make a grand appearance next chapter, but my brain has a mind of its own (confusing, I know…) and it will do as it pleases. Also, I realized this is fanfiction, and I can do whatever the hell I want without it making sense whatsoever, so I'm most likely going to have my Iscariot buddies to have a part in my story as well. I like Anderson, I do. He's funneh, and I believe that he's the third person who can put Alucard in his place. And sorry if the beginning of this story sounds unoriginal, I do have my own twist to it though so bare with me.**

**I'm not getting enough votes from the pole, I realize that most of my readers/reviewers don't have fanfiction accounts, but it really doesn't take that long to make one. This account wasn't originally made for writing stories, it was so I could review and vote and it led up to this. So seriously, I need more votes guys, and if it come right down to it I won't update till there are enough votes. Same goes for reviews (more details later):**

I 3 Hellsing: I'm glad you think it's original, cuz I was starting to have my doubts :3 And your question was answered in the earlier a/n if you didn't catch it. Thanks for reviewing :D

Anonamous - Who Me?: Thanks for the review! I didn't make you wait long this time because… SPRING BREAK! *does a happy dance* And I'll try to make Alucard 'creepy', but what I'm aiming for is for him to be in character and not one of those happy-go-lucky people I see in other stories, they scare me. Also if I did that I'm afraid Alucard would be pissed if I made him look like a guy version Seras, and he'd come out of the story books and kill me in my sleep. Anyways, I digress, I'll see what I can do. And thanks for the complement! :D

Xireana- I'll keep writing, thanks for the review! :D

**So… details on reviewing… I hate to be sounding like a nagging bitch but when I get four reviews on one chapter and then three on the next, it makes me feel that my story is getting worse (psh, as ridiculous as that sounds *sarcasm*). So I need to get the reviews to maintain confidence, k? I know, I sound like a broken record. But I think it's really messed up when someone can't take five seconds out of their lives to write a quick review, you know? Other authors should know what I mean . :D  
Also, need votes in the poll that's on my profile. The titles changing cuz the current one sucks, so you might as well get a say in it.**

**So anyways, thanks to the readers who have come this far in the story, and I hope you stick with it just like I am. Also, thanks bunches to my great reviewers: you get a cookie. Go to the grocery store to pick it up :D Get me one too, please :3 See ya!**

**REVIEW**


	9. Murderous Priests

**What Once Was**

**A/N: (First few sentences deleted because it's stupid to say I will try not to write bad. I'm an amateur. I will always write bad, it comes with the territory :D The rest got deleted because the title DID change to what I wanted, and so did the summary.)****  
**

**(Also deleted because none of you care about what happened with my schoolings, much less my schoolings of two years ago)**

**Happy Reading :D**

**Warning: Language, somewhat prejudice (cough, Anderson cough) later**

**Disclaimer:**

**Anderson: Ye cannae claim thes! It all belongs tae God!  
Me: I didn't claim it. Haven't you been reading?  
Anderson: God claims it!  
Me: God claims everything, go play with your bayonets.  
Anderson: …Okay…  
*roles eyes***

Chapter Nine: Murderous Priests

I was on my way out of the grocery store for about the third time. The list Walter had given me had seemed endless, the grocery clerk had to come over to ask me if I was okay before I could finally get my eyes to shrink back to their normal size; I also didn't think my jaw would ever close again.

My third trip back to the car was the worst; I had saved the last trip for the frozen stuff so that it wouldn't melt or go bad, and most of stuff on the list was frozen. My arms were tired of just loading the things in the car; I couldn't even begin to _think_ about how I was going to get it all in the mansion.

_At least the worst part is over… Man, I'm really hoping this is one of those things you get used to in time, _I thought. Shopping had never been my most favorite thing, and now it was my job… How ironic can you get? Ugh…

I finished unloading the bags and put the cart into one of the return slots-or whatever they're called-before getting in the car and looking at what was next on the list of errands.

_Hospital-_

_Place Blood Transfusion Bag Order:  
Under Name Hellsing  
Reasoning: Emergencies  
-Collect Bags that are ready_

"Oh. My. God. You have _got _to be kidding me. Can't they just order it online or something… okay, yeah that sounds stupid, never mind…" I had recently made a habit of talking to myself seeing as the only person I really ever talked to was Walter, and that was usually just to ask what my next chore was; I have rarely seen Sir Integra since my… oh let's call it 'employment', and I hadn't seen hide nor tail of vampy or Seras, though that was company I could live without for the moment. Still, I get lonely _really_ easily.

"Okay, to the hospital… Where's the hospital…?" Yes I know it's sad, but I didn't really pay attention to where the hospital was, especially not when my mom took me to see dad. I looked on the back of the to-do list.

"Oh." There, it said, _Just get onto the highway and follow the signs that are up for the hospital. _

_Heh, Walter knows me better than mom did… _I winced a bit at the past tense but I strapped myself in and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Following the signs…" I looked up through the top of the windshield to look at a sign saying, "St. Ann's Hospital Next Exit." The next sign said the same thing, except it added, "Museum, Next Exit." Huh, maybe I'll get to visit that museum earlier than expected? Chores were light today; the hospital was the second and the last thing on my list, minus helping Walter with supper. If I got done with the blood transfusions early, I'd be able to spare maybe fifteen minutes in the museum. Maybe it's not a lot of time, but it's more than what I usually get.

"And so, you nearly miss your turn," I said to myself. I made a sharp left and I heard some of the groceries fall off the back seat. "Dangit… Oh, this is a great start into getting some free time, just great." I made another left and pulled into the Hospital parking lot, got out of the car, walked through the sliding doors with a semi-smirk on my face and a little too giddy secretary greeted me at the front desk.

I thought to myself, _Well… this may be interesting…_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~One Hour Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

I groaned as I all but stomped out of the hospital.

_That was an annoying turn of events, _I thought as I recalled what happened soon after walking in. The secretary was obviously new. How do I know? She told me. Oh, how she told me.

"_I'm sorry for my hyperness, this is my first day!"_

"_Oh, I must have given you the wrong directions… I'm really sorry, I'm new…"_

"'_Dr. Morris? Yes where are the transfusion bags? I- No, I checked there. Yes, on the second floor, right? The third floor? Oh, right I remember now. Thank you Dr. Morris.' *turns pager off* I'm sorry for making so many mistakes, I'm a rookie."_

Hey, did I mention she was new? Ugh, my head hurt just thinking about her annoyingly high pitched voiced repeating 'I'm New' over and over and _over _again.

I got into the car after putting the blood bags in the back and slammed the door, turning a few aggravated stares my way from those who were in the parking lot. I laid my head back into the head rest when I realized I really did have a migraine coming on.

_Ugh, this shouldn't be happening at my age, _I thought as I repressed a hiss when the throbbing started.

"There's no way I'm going to be able to drive like this," I whispered to myself. I looked at my watch and I had about forty-five minutes before I had to be back at Hellsing Mansion (It takes near 25 minutes to get there). My head cocked into the direction of the museum, then back to my watch.

"Oh, screw it." I got out of the car, pressed the lock button, and started walking to the museum that was about a block away.

"Okay, so if I stay here for twenty minutes then head back, I should make it in time to help out… or does it take longer than that? Damn, why am I so disoriented? I feel like I just woke up five minutes before the bus arrives…" I remembered a few times when my alarm clock didn't go off and I only had a few minutes to get ready. Haha, good times… NOT.

At the moment I was leaning against a wall sitting on a bench and looking at a brochure to the 'Imperial War Museum.'

"Alright where to start… Guess I'll just walk and look, not much time to read anything." I got a few funny looks for talking to myself which I just shook off. As I stood up I had to jump back a little as two boys chased a girl across my path. My eyes trailed after them for a while and I managed a small smile before I reminded myself that those times for me were over. Not necessarily running around like a child, but the ignorance of all things supernatural didn't exist anymore.

"There's no use crying over something so stupid, the past is the past." And with that, I started walking.

I passed many paintings, some looked boring, and others captured my interest a little more. I stopped at these paintings and took a minute or two to look at them before moving on. All the while I could feel eyes boring holes in the back of my head. When I moved onto the next painting, 'Knight in the Battle of Milvian Bridge', I decided to take a glance to see who insisted on leaving me craters in my skull. Who I turned to see was certainly unexpected.

"Can I help you, Father?" I turned to face a tall man with blond hair. He had a grey trench coat, glasses, and a scar on his face. He seemed a little surprised, as if he weren't used to priests being treated with respect (I could tell he was one by the cross he wore around his neck). A little kid ran up and tugged on his sleeve.

"Run alang. Go 'n fin' Yumiko(1), laddie." The boy put on a pout face but a lady called out to him and he ran off. He turned to me and said,

"Ye look a wee bit young tae be interested in history ur war." He said with a kind smile before turning to the painting I had been looking at.

"Ah, Knight in th' Battle o' Milvian Brig. I remember seein' thes one, once. Though oan a bit o' off terms..." he trailed off.

"The children you seem to be looking after are even younger than me." I countered, going back to his earlier statement .

"Aye, but they ur here oan a learnin' experience, nae necessarily oan choice, though I'm sure many o' them raither be here than in th' orphanage back home. "

I felt sorry for the orphans, if only for a brief second. Most of them were young enough that they didn't understand much yet. Loss is more bearable that way, unlike my encounters.

"Hm. Do they go to the orphanage near here?" I asked for the sake of conversation.

He laughed a bit before answering. "Nae, they go tae an orphanage in Italy under mah care part time."

I raised my eyebrows. "Italy? Wow. Why'd you bring them all the way here to England?"

"Oh, oan an impulse I suppose. I hud thooght about it long ago but ne'er got aroond tae it, wi' th' war an' all." He shrugged, his eyes looking distant. I nodded, though a little suspicious.

"What off terms were you referring to?" I blurted.

"I hud tae meet some company that I was nae exactly fond o'. Still nae. " I nodded once again.

"Who ur ye here wi'?" he abruptly asked.

"I'm… um… here by myself."

"Really? Nae a body drove ye?" (no body drove you?)

"Um… N-no, I… walked." So it was a half assed excuse. It's all I could say, I didn't need any distuption with the police. Sure, I'd walk out of it okay, but getting back to the manor and dealing with Integra's lecture was a different story. I shivered.

"Fraem whare? Surely nae very far fraem here?"

"No, I had someone drop me off to run a few 'errands.'" I looked at my watch and led out a squeak that caused him to look at me curiously. "Speaking of which, where does the time go?! She'll have my head for being this late! I swear, if looks and lectures could kill, she'd have murdered thousands by now." Of course I was maybe only a few minutes late, but A: I was getting uncomfortable for obvious reasons, and B: If he decided to 'talk' to the guards about my under age driving (he didn't buy my story…), I was _definitely _going to be late. Something sparked in his eyes.

"Might I ask who wood 'hae yer head'?" I couldn't put my finger on it, but the emotion that entered him seemed to be hinting towards… malice?

"Oh, just my boss," I said cautiously, doing my best to tell the truth without letting out the whole thing. It would have been really easy if I weren't talking to a priest, but low and behold, my life just loves to torture me. I tried to step around him, but he cut me off.

"Now, lass, it is very rude tae lie, especially tae a paladin." An evil smirk spread across his features. "Let's be more honest, shaa we?" Fear crept its way down my spine and I instantly went full alert. I decided to tell the plain truth.

"Sir…" I started. I wasn't going to say her name, but I wanted to see if he had a reaction. He did; his eyes widened a fraction in anticipation. But, really, I was just addressing him. "I couldn't tell you her name even if I wanted to." I deliberately didn't say Father just to get on his nerves, because he was starting to get on mine. He didn't even look slightly annoyed. It made me wonder if he had been called worse names. He did, however, turn his lips down when I didn't actually give her name.

"Is 'at coz ye don't know ur yer nae allowed tae tell?"

I just looked at him. "Sir, I'm late and I need to get back to help fix supper." I tried to walk around but he again stepped in my path.

"Wa ur ye sae agaisnt tellin' me yer boss's nam? it's jist yer boss's nam," he chuckled.

"I'm sorry sir, but why do you care?" I asked bitterly, al little frustrated that wherever I stepped, he managed to make sure I wasn't going anywhere.

He was silent for a second. I could tell he knew I was suspicious of him. Who wouldn't be? An ordinary person wouldn't pester you for a simple name, especially not to a complete stranger.

I looked at him fully, and I spotted markings on his gloves. I tilted my head slightly and tried reading what it said. One hand said 'Jesus Christ Is In Heaven.' The other said 'Iscariot Section XIII.' Confused, I forgot about the current situation and accidentally voiced out loud, "Iscariot… where have I heard that before?" Yes, Damn my 'I-Talk-To-Myself' habit. He raised an eyebrow at what I said.

"Sae yoo've heard of us?" he smiled, and it reminded me a little too much of the one Alucard had used. I ignored him and continued thinking, and he kept talking about god knows what. God… it's connect to that… and it's paired with something else…

"Ur ye even listenin'?!" he shouted annoyed. He was loud enough to turn the head of the girl who had called the boy over, and even though she was far off, I saw her eyes narrow.

"Judas Iscariot… why do you have the name of the guy who betrayed Jesus on your gloves?" I asked. He cut off mid sentence. Then smiled.

"Ye know yer bible, don't ye? Ha, ha. But th' reason is complicated, and-"

"Okay, then. Some other time. Bye!" I ran off, catching him off guard. My cell phone had started ringing, and if he was doing what I thought he was doing, I couldn't have him catching me talking to _anyone _from the organization. A simple slip of Sir, and he would probably go hay-wire. When I addressed him with sir, he looked to be on the edge of sanity.

I turned the corner right before the doors and slowed to a walk, my running was causing disturbances.

"Hello?"

"_Miss Grace! Where are you? You should have been back by now."_

"Sorry, Walter. Got caught up. I stopped in a museum for one minute, and 'paladins' start pestering me for my boss's name. What's a paladin?"

There was silence on the other end. _"Would you have happened to catch this person's name?"_

"Um… Not his name, I was too busy trying to leave to ask. Would the fact that he had orphans and a girl named… Yumiko, I think, help?"

Silence.

"Miss Grace, get out of there."

"Why? And I still don't know what a paladin is," I said sarcastically.

"Miss Grace, that's, for sure Paladin Alexander Anderson. He's a formidable opponent to Alucard, if he finds out your with the Hellsing organization, you'll be sliced through _easier_ than butter."

"He's a priest, they don't kill people. That'd be… well, against everything they believe in."

"I'm not going to argue with you, Miss Grace. Just come back immediately. And just to give you a-what do kids say…-heads up, if you're correct, and Yumiko is there as well, her partner is bound to be with her, both of which are trained assassins." The line went dead, he hung up. I scrunched my eyebrows and shook my head as I snapped the phone shut.

"I still don't know what a paladin is… And come on, murderous priests? And what about assassin's watching orphans? That has got to be demeaning." _To the orphans, _I added, just to get a mental laugh. I passed through the doors, and almost ran into a woman.

"Sorry, wasn't looking where I was going-" I looked up to see who I almost bumped into, but the sun's glare was in the way.

"Demeaning? You insolent-!"

"Now Yumie, it's not nice to hit children," a deep yet still feminine voice said mockingly.

"You're right… Now cutting them to pieces, that's a different story." I heard the sound of metal on metal and I side-stepped out of the sun's brightness. When I did, I saw two women, one with a drawn pistol, the other drawing a sword.

"Members of Hellsing are enemies in the sight of God and therefor us, and they will be abolished as such in the name of His glory," the one I assumed to be Heinkel said, Yumie twitching in anticipation. "Amen."

"Crap."

(1) In Crossfire (sort of like adventures of the Iscariot, I think), Yumie and Yumiko are the same person with a split personality. Yumiko is pacifist, Yumie is impulsive. I thought it would be easier and more fun to use this. If you still don't get it, do what I did. Look it up.

**A/N: Short, I know. I'll try to have another one up like soon, or something. I just thought this would be the best way to end it. Anyways, sorry for taking so long, every Friday I plan to write, my mom somehow gets me into doing some sort of service at church or whatever, and then I don't find out till the night before. Blah blah blah.**

**By the way, I went out of my way to find this info, so whoever can tell me some significance of the museum scene gets a cookie :D. There are two things: One has to do with Integra, the other Anderson.**

**Reviewing Reviews: I only got one…**

SeleneHarrell: A cliff hanger indeed :D an even worse one now XD And thanks for that, I need the boost of confidence. Cookie? (v'.') O-(^-^v) (a person giving a cookie) I know, I'm a dork…

**So… that about wraps it up. And for the reviews, despite what I said earlier, I won't be 'enforcing' them per se, but they encourage me to write. See how I only got one review (a great review)? Now let's see how long it took me to update… 3-4 weeks. Woo, look at that, I wander why that is :/  
Happy Easter! *snicker* lol, Judas Iscariot and Easter in the same chapter… Oh, the Irony… *gets smacked by church pastor* *screams* "Ahhhh! Murderous Priests! They live!" *runs away screaming 'hide your family members'***

**REVIEW**

**p.s. For those of you that actually read this far in the A/N, Here's a little hint for you in the next chapter: Alucard fans- be prepared :D**


	10. Iscariot's Awakening

**What Once Was**

**A/N: I'm not feeling very creative with the a/n so I'll just have ooc characters argue in the disclaimer…**

**Warning: Violence, Language, stupidity**

**Disclaimer: Get ready; it's a long one…**

**Yumie: I'm a pretty pony!  
Heinkel: O_e *turns to me* what have you done to Yumie!?  
Me: *shrugs* I don't know, I'm making her act all opposite-ness-y-ness.  
Heinkel: …What?  
Me: Here let me demonstrate… Look at Anderson.  
Heinkel: *Looks* Holy ****!  
Anderson: *Runs away and cowers behind Yumie when Alucard pulls a gun*  
Yumie: *squeaks, hides behind Anderson.*  
Me: And so forth.  
Heinkel: What did Anderson ever do to you?!  
Me: He interrupted my disclaimer. Like someone ELSE I know…  
Heinkel: *widens eyes and hides behind Alucard*  
Alucard: … **_**I **_**couldn't cause this much chaos…  
Me. *Bursts out laughing* I don't own anything… *chuckle*… Alucard, why are you in a dress?  
Alucard: *looks down* Holy ****ing **** mother of God!  
Me: O.o… you should stick with your Halloween outfits.  
Alucard: (-_-)**

… **Heh heh, oocs are fun…**

Chapter Ten: Iscariot's Awakening

Heinkel raised her pistol and aimed it at my head… right in the middle of the parking lot in broad daylight. There were a few people walking in the said parking lot, and a woman made a small scream before running away. One thing… well, two things really, were rushing through my head. One: I was probably about to die. Two: If I had any sense of self preservation, I had to stay calm, act innocent, and lie through my teeth as if God encouraged it.

"W-why are you…?" I stuttered, trying my best not to scream and run like a maniac away from the gun (like any normal person would do).

"About to slice you to pieces? Weren't you just listening? Members of Hellsing are to be killed!" Yumie shouted. She turned a few more curious, nosey heads this way and they started running away screaming, one grabbed a cell phone. It's a wonder how no one was noticing…

"What the hell is Hellsing? A racist group? Anti-religious assembly? I'm not racist, and I'm a Catholic! Don't shoot me!" I managed to get the whole thing out without stumbling, but my lip quivered a little. I backed away, right into someone behind me.

"People o' God dinnae lie. But we hud better move thes else whare. I'd raither nae have th' whole o' Englaind givin' us a bad reputation fur us slaughterin' their police force." My shoulder was grabbed and shoved to a car that really was not far from mine. I fumbled for my cell phone in my pocket being careful to open it while it was still inside, then slipping it inside my sweater jacket sleeve.

I was shoved into the car; Heinkel got into the front, pistol still out and turned around in her seat. Yumie sat on one side while Alexander sat on the other.

"I'm not lying, I am Catholic, and I'm against racism. Please let me go," I said, as composed as I could. I pressed the number two on the cell phone and pressed talk, the cell phone still in my sleeve. They didn't detect it, to my relief.

"Then explain why you were talking to a Hellsing member, a Protestant?!" Yumie shouted.

"Walter? My great uncle? I don't even know what religion he is. He could be Jewish, for all I know. Would talking to my overly paranoid Jewish uncle make me Jewish as well?" I asked, pretending to break into hysterics. "And I still don't know what a Paladin is!" I added for affect. I really hoped they were buying it…

Alexander narrowed his eyes at me. I decided to try my best and do whatever I could to steer away from the thought that these people were about to kill me. HA! Death by priest. How would that look on a tombstone?

"Who's watching the orphans?" I asked, trying to stall and change the subject. Heinkel rolled her eyes and Alexander answered, "Th' tour guide is watchin' them. If ye won't admit tae us oan yer own, ye wooldn't min' me searchin' yer car, wood ye?" I made the mistake of widening my eyes and he dragged me out of the car, and he pulled me right to mine.

"Son of a bitch, he's a stalker…" I whispered. I heard someone's teeth grind behind me.

"Thes yer car?" he asked.

"Um… no?"

"I told ye 'at lyin' is a sin," He said firmly.

"I'm not lying. It really isn't my car, it belongs to my uncle."

"An' why ur ye drivin' it? Yer at leest two years too yoong."

"Isn't this a little off subject?" Heinkel said, sounding annoyed.

"Aye. Open th' door." I quickly unlocked the car all the while trying to think of an explanation to give for the blood bags in the back seat. Alexander seemed to know right where to go; he went straight to the back and pulled out the cooler that contain the transfusion packs. He opened it and showed it to me.

"What dae ye call thes?" he asked, a malicious smirk on his face. Heinkel and Yumie were starting to get the same looks of anticipation. Damn, he must have seen me go to the Hospital… 'What dae ye call thes?' he says… he was starting to sound like a bad FBI T.V. show…

"That would be the blood from the hospital. Uncle Walter isn't doing too well; he needs a new pack every other hour." These lies were coming way too easy for comfort. He grabbed my shoulders again, painfully so.

"Ow," I whimpered.

"Lass, we know yoo're fram Hellsing. Make it easier oan yerself an' stop lyin'." His grip tightened, my shoulders throbbed from the pressure.

_Tell them. If you don't it's clear their going to kill you. They're not buying any of this!*_

_No! Isn't that what you've wanted all along? A way out without doing it yourself?!^_

_No, that's what you've wanted, and you're starting to sound like a broken record. And as for _you, _I don't fear death, I just don't love it. Not to mention what Integra might do… but then again…_

"I'm just the errand runner…" I whispered, my lips moving on their own accord. My eyes widened for I had no idea what I just got myself into. The speed dial I had put in the phone was Integra's number, and with any chance she was listening in on the whole conversation, possibly sending help… and then recalling said help when I accidentally confessed. "Son of a _bitch_!" I murmured. Alexander straightened.

"Just an errand girl? What's with all the lies then? Why do you care? Would you really risk your life for something that won't even make a difference to them?!" Heinkel yelled, seemingly appalled I would try to keep them a secret. Then I thought of something… What was I trying to protect? Me or Hellsing?

"I'm _really _confused… I can't remember who I was lying for…" I managed to stutter out. I couldn't remember if I was dishonest for them or for me. My head started aching. They obviously knew about Hellsing, so I must have been lying for me, but… Oh, my head... "And what do you mean it won't make a difference to them?"

Yumie smiled cruelly. "There's nothing you can tell us that we don't already know about them, in fact we probably know more than you do. Not even killing you would make them have a second thought about you." I had the stupidest most idiotic impulse go through me. I jerked my arm and slid my phone out, causing some surprise on their side, and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked, hoping I wasn't talking to a voicemail.

"Miss Grace, Sir Integra is on her way with a few soldiers." I was relieved to hear Walter's voice.

"All for little ol' me?" I asked lightly. I was pretty surprised they hadn't killed me by now, seeing as now they knew help was coming. I was even more shocked at how laid back I was being… and the idiocy I was putting out.

"Well… There's a treaty that's in violation for them being in London, let alone pointing guns in a Hellsing member's general direction."

"Uh-huh," I replied, eyeing Heinkels pistol, Yumie's sword, and whatever Axlexander was beginning to get out. "Quick question… what would you do if you had a gun in your face?" I asked. I glanced down the barrel of the gun Heinkel was holding.

"Well… I can't really answer that for you, seeing as what I _would_ do and what you _can _do are two entirely different things. But in your current situation, my advice to you is to sit tight, and do as you're told, short of getting in a car with them."

"Right… could you… erm… talk to them?"

"… Excuse me?"

"Come on, I'm at wits end here! A little bit of stalling, please!"

"Alright, give the ph-" I all but tossed the phone, cutting Walter off.

Alexander caught the phone it with ease and put it to his ear. I couldn't tell why, but seeing him with a cell phone just seemed out of place.

"What ur ye doin' wi' an innocent yoong girl in yer ranks, Protestant?" He spat. I strained to hear Walter's response.

"Well, technically, she's not in our ranks. She helps with chores and runs errands for the household. You have no reason to be harassing Miss Grace." Alexander grinned.

"I suppose ye willnae be needin' 'Miss Grace' then?" He cut off any reply Walter was going to make with a simply motion of his hand, and my phone fell to the concrete in a mass of metal and circuits. I looked down at said phone and gulped.

_I take it back, I do fear death. My dreams are finally starting to get to me… God knows where I'm going to go when I pass. _I recalled the nightmare I had where the creature told me I had no place to go when death finally took me.

"Now lass, I don't want tae murder such a yoong girl. Ye say yer catholic? Ye swear upon yer mother's grave that ye ur?" he asked, giving a deceivingly friendly smile. I frowned.

"My mother's already dead, sir. But yeah, I was a Catholic, and I guess you can still consider me one."

He grinned and motioned Yumie and Heinkel to put their weapons away. I looked at him, confused.

"Ye donnae need tae stay wi' Protestant scum like 'em. Ye could come wi' us. Ye could live, an' more," he told me, but for some reason, I wasn't drawn to the mercy he was showing. Be it that I knew there was a catch or that I didn't want to betray my parents and those who had shown me any kindness since their death, I wasn't going to take his offer. Not right now. The air suddenly got _very _cold, and if they noticed it, they were ignoring it. I looked at the building behind him, and I wasn't scared. I was going to make it out of this. I stepped back a bit, and he fell into a frown. Oh, God, please let this _not _be a stupid thing to do for once.

"As good as 'living' sounds, I'm going to have to decline your offer. I will neither betray Sir Integra nor my parents, no matter how inferior I am." With every word I said, his face became more and more… displeased.

"I would usually say something really ignorant, but out of respect I'm going to keep my mouth shut," _and hope that the watchful shadows are on my side, _I thought glancing around at the dark spots covering the landscape.

"Well lass, 'en out o' respect I'll make it quick." He twitched his arm and some sort of blade came out of his sleeve, and Heinkel nudged me forward with a shove. They started leading me towards an alleyway near the back of the museum, and I felt the shadows that had brought me comfort follow. I looked around absently and 'solemnly' and noticed there was a group of people that was watching us intently, and watching _me_ fearfully. I lifted up a hand and gave them a small wave along with a smile, and after a few seconds our audience dispersed. I heard a scoff from behind me and I could just picture the mocking looks on their faces.

We entered the alleyway and continued walking far enough until they were sure there wouldn't be any witnesses. I had the urge to say something.

"Not that I'm questioning your actions, but why exactly are you going to kill someone as unimportant as I am? Even if I am with a group you hate, a group that you have a treaty with…?" I asked in a monotone. Alexander turned around and looked at me, still walking, his face almost looking amused.

"As we said before, any member o' Hellsing is tae be silenced. Protestants ur our enemies, an' ye ur wi' th' Protestants. Nae treaty will ever seperate us from our mission from God. An' if ye recall, I offered ye life an' mercy." I nodded. A hand stopped me from progressing any further and I obediently stopped. Alexander raised his blade and positioned it, ready to slice- as Walter put it- through me easier than butter. My heart involuntarily skipped a beat.

"Well lass, I'll offer ye one last chance. Ye could come wi' us, or…" He moved his blade in front of my face to make a point, and Heinkel cocked her pistol… not that she would need it. Keeping my eyes on the blade, I made my reply.

"I'm… no thank you…" I struggled for words that would basically tell them, 'Hey, I choose death over life! What a good use of energy I am!'Alexander sighed.

"God forgife me fur killin' a yoong Catholic…" The way he said this made me realize he wasn't used to killing things that wouldn't fight back. I suppressed a chuckle, and my eyes trailed over to the shadows, and the air got colder again. I closed my eyes and sighed.

'_Are you giving up little girl?' _My eyes flashed open and I looked at Alexander in confusion. He paused from raising his two (apparently he got another weapon…) blades and looked back at me with the same confusion. I had just heard a male voice, and Alexander was the only male here… or… I turned my head towards the shadows again, and I could have sworn I saw something move.

'_Are you?' _I took a short breath. The voice seemed to be coming from the shadows, though not from them at the same time, like they were in my head… which would make sense, no one else seemed to be hearing it. Great, this experience has pushed me to the brink and I had finally gone completely nuts. Dim red lights appeared in the shadows, and I almost jumped when I found they looked like eye slits.

I realized that Alexander had not yet sliced me through, and I looked at him to find that he had looked at the shadows as well, and was now staring at them suspiciously. I turned to look behind me and found that Heinkel was also looking, but Yumie was keeping an eye on me.

'_Answer me, girl.' _I turned back around to face front, and whispered, "How?" Alexander approached the shadows, blades ready.

'_How do you normally answer voices in your head?' _

…_Like this?_

' _Are you giving up?'_

_Not necessarily… I'm crazy right?_ I heard laughter on the other end, and then… laughter came from the shadows. Everyone's eyes widened, including mine.

"Shaw yerself, demon!" Alexander yelled at the shadows, pointing his blades. Heinkel joined him, and Yumie readied her sword. My eyes widened for a different reason this time. I had an opening.

'_Yes, you are crazy… but not for this particular basis.' _I smirked.

_I've got a real answer to your question._

'_And what is that?' _I could almost hear the smirk that was on _his _face.

_I'm not giving up… _I stepped back, and looked to see if anyone noticed.

'_And _why _is that, little girl?'_

_Because. _I took another step. _I have. _And another. _The right. _And another. _To live. _I broke into a sprint, and I heard laughter burst through the shadows behind me.

"Hey!" one of the girls shadows, which one I couldn't tell. Right now, I was making a break for it. I didn't even have to get to the car.

_Self Defense lesson one… _I remembered the day my mom died, and the lesson Dan had been teaching before I ran off.

_Get to a public place. _I ran out of the alley, and sprinted for the entrance of the museum.

_Lesson two… Alert authority. Damn, where's Integra when you need her?_ I ran right past a security guard who was looking after me apprehensively. I stopped short, looking back at him, and almost hit the wall. _It'll have to do._

I darted back to his spot and stopped right in front of him. I paused to catch my breath, and once I was composed, I tried to act and look as scared as a_ normal _teen would… well, maybe worried was a better word.

"Sir, I can't find my parents! I looked all over the museum for them and their car isn't in the parking lot where I thought it was! I dropped my phone and it's just in peaces now-" That's right. I stooped low enough to look like a lost child. Remarkable what a human would do to stay alive, no?

"Slow down, there. What do your parents look like?" he asked. I peered around him and found Yumie was the only one who had chased me, and she looked like she was debating on killing the security guard too. I almost smiled. Almost.

_I'm going to have some fun with this… _"Well, my mom has long blond hair and blue eyes… and for reasons beyond me she usually wears a business suit. My dad… Well, I kind of think of my great uncle as my dad…" I looked behind him again, this time for effect, and I gazed long enough until he finally looked as well. He turned back around and asked, "Do you know her?"

"No…" I leaned in so he could hear me whisper. "She's been following me around the museum…" I whimpered, but internally I laughed."I'm scared…"

"It's all right; I'm going to take you to the museum's reception center. The workers there can call over an intercom for your parents, if they don't show up I'll take you to a police station where you can wait, okay?"

I pretended to wipe my eyes. "A police station? Isn't that a little over the top?"

"Not necessarily, if you were accidentally or intentionally abandoned." Oh, harsh words there, abandoned…

"O-okay…" Man, I should go into acting. I looked around him again and I saw that Heinkel had joined Yumie. I wondered what was keeping Alexander. The guard looked as well and when he turned back to me he smiled and said, "They won't hurt you, one's a priest, see?" He pointed at Heinkel whom I just realized was dressed in an outfit similar to Alexander. "Would you like to go with them? They would probably help you, seems it's what they been trying to do all along."

_This guy needs to get fired, trying to send me off with complete strangers… And if by help you mean 'rip me to shreds, slice me through, then shoot my remains', yeah. That's what they've been trying to do all along._

I shook my head rapidly and he sighed. "Alright, then." He started walking towards the two, but continued past them, me right on his heels. The looks on their faces were priceless, a mixture of frustration and hate. I briefly wondered if they thought I told the security guard what was going on, with them trying to kill me (but of course not _why_ they were). I looked back at the two when we were a ways away and I saw them following from a distance, acting like normal tourists. I thought about what would happen if the orphans found out those who looked after them were murderers, and of course, right on cue, a group of kids went across the hall following a tour guide. I held in my laughter at the coincidence, and then at the fact that they all looked bored and tired out of their minds.

About a minute later, the guard showed me into an office, and talked to a young woman behind a desk. She nodded and got up.

"Hello, I hear you need some help finding your parents. Would you mind telling me theirs and your names?" she said, smiling kindly.

"Well, my mom's name is Integra, my great uncle's is Walter, and mines Grace." I said, and I sniffed.

"Okay, what are your last names?"

… _Integra's not going to like this… But, hard times call for hard measures…_

"Um… my mom is actually a little paranoid, and doesn't give out her last name very often… She says that her first name is unusual enough that it doesn't matter, though." She's going to kill me. If the terrible trio don't get to me first, Integra's going to scream her head off, then mine.

"Okay then, just sit tight and we'll try to get your parent's down here, okay?" I nodded and looked out the glass window. Heinkel and Yumie walked past, glaring daggers at me. I still don't know why they want to kill me so much, it seems really pointless… But when you're trying to keep your head on your shoulders, you don't really think much about that, do you?

A phone started ringing, and the woman picked it up.

"Imperial War Museum Reception, may I help you?" She paused to let the other end speak.

"What do you mean there are two police vehicles locking down the building?"

"Some bystanders saw a person pull out a gun and aim it at someone's head?" I've always wondered why people felt the need to repeat stuff they heard, it annoys me…

"Evacuate the building? Alright, then…" She hung up the phone and turned to the security guard who was on his way back to his post.

"We need to evacuate, the manager called and says that some police are ordering an evacuation."

The guard looked confused but nodded. He faced me, "Sorry, kid, guess your parents are going to have to hold out for a while. Stick with Mandy, here. She'll make sure you get out safe." He left and Mandy came up behind me and led me out of the room.

The hallways were crowding already since before we had left, Mandy made an announcement for everyone to get outside the building, which was going on lockdown. They were all going the same direction we were, which was toward the entrance. Their loud chatter filled the hall and it annoyed me to no end. When you are told to get out of a building a killer might be in, you usually aren't supposed to be worried about how you'd 'been planning this for weeks.'

Once outside, I was a little taken back about how far the police were taking a gun sighting, and I decided to ask about it.

"Well," Mandy started, after I asked, "The Police usually take these kinds of sightings very serious, especially when they're around a museum or a bank… or any other important place, really." I nodded, and followed her until we were past the police cars. There, we sat on the ground, as instructed by some cops that were trying to gain control over the 'situation'.

_Come on, Integra! Get here already! Or _someone_! I'd even leave with Vampy if I have to, at least _he's _already here!_ I looked back to the alleyway as a reflex and thought about what was going on there. I heard a faint clash of metal on metal, but no one else seemed to hear it.

_Don't do something stupid, _I thought to myself. I slowly stood myself up from the ground when none of the cops were looking.

"What are you doing?" Mandy asked me.

"I think I just saw my mom over there. I'm going to go check."

"No wait-!" I was already walking away and I tuned her out.

_NO! Don't do anything crazy either! Sit back down! Haven't you ever heard the saying curiosity killed the cat!? SIT! BACK! DOWN!_ Despite the self preservation thoughts, I walked out of the line of sight, behind some dumpsters, of anyone from the museum that would actually care who I was or what I was doing. Then, I peeked around the corner and into the alleyway and I would have screamed had I not seen so much excitement already. Plus, I kinda thought it looked _cool_.

There in the alleyway stood Vampy Alucard and Alexander. Well, they weren't really in an alleyway anymore. Instead, it looked like whole other dimension where monstrous things showed themselves, most of them having numerous eyes. Red eyes.

"Cool," I couldn't stop myself from whispering. Alucard was smiling what I was beginning to think was his signature smile, and Alexander was scowling. If looks could kill, Vampy would be six feet under right now. I looked down at the ground and there was a distinct line where the real world started and ended. And, despite my mind's screaming protests, I carefully lifted up a foot, and ever so slightly set it down in the red and black realm that had taken over the alleyway. Not a moment after, Alexander and Alucard looked in my direction, and likewise, my head jerked up to look at them. The feeling was strange; while I only had a moment to undergo it, the feeling just stuck with me. The very moment I set my foot down into the strange realm, it was like I could feel everything in the alleyway. I could sense the two other beings inside, just as they could sense me. And, though I could only see the red and black mess that Vampy had most likely made of the alleyway, I could even feel the rats hiding behind the dumpsters. It was the strangest and… the BEST feeling I had ever had in my entire life.

After Alucard and Alexander realized that I was nothing that was going to do much of anything, they turned back to each other.

"I'm gonnae enjoy thes, demon!" Alexander said.

"As will I, Judas Priest!" Alucard replied. Then, Alexander lunged at Alucard with the blades tight in his grip. My eyes widened, as Alucard just stood there.

_Move! Why don't you move!_

'_I could ask you the same thing.' _I was almost surprised to hear his voice in my head, and I also almost sighed in relief when he stepped just barely out of the way.

'_Better get moving little girl, Master will be looking for you.' _I couldn't really move. Well, it wasn't that I couldn't, more like didn't want to. It was disturbing really; I watched the action unfold in front of me, and the only anxiety I felt was that of which you would feel while watching a suspense movie. I started craving popcorn, and I mentally smirked at the stupidity of it.

As Alucard dodged out of the way, I noticed a gun that he had in his hand… Make that _guns_. Alexander recovered quickly and spun around, switching his blades to be equipped more like daggers than swords. He started slashing at Alucard, whom dodged every single one of his swings. Alucard pulled up his guns, and then the shots rang through the alley. I was captivated by every aspect of it.

I started to think, my eyes staying glued to the duel that was unfolding before me. I thought how this was the first time I had seen Vampy since I face planted the floor after figuring out who and what he was; and how off of terms our second meeting was. I thought about what Walter had said on the phone, that Integra was on her way with a few soldiers. Then I thought… does that count Vampy?

"Does she even know you're here?" I asked aloud. Alucard let loose a few more rounds (None of which even grazed Alexander, I might add), before even tilting his head in acknowledgment of my question. He grinned in excitement before answering.

"No." And with that, he went back to shooting at the priest. But… All good must things must come to an end… well, at least for me. While I was pulled out of my reverie, Vampy kept on looking like he was having the time of his life.

I felt a hand grab at my shoulder, and I knew right away, out of friend or foe, it was a foe because the grip tightened to the point where I was starting to lose feeling in my arm.

"You gave us a pretty hard time, making us chase you down…" I could hear the hate leaking out of Heinkel's voice.

"Me giving you a hard time? Look at all the trouble you caused," I said, hinting towards the commotion that was still going on in the parking lot. All the while I said this, I was watching Alucard and Anderson battle it out, and by the looks of it, so were the two assassins behind me.

Anderson kept trying to stab at Alucard's chest, but Vampy wasn't having any of that. He kept dodging at the very last second, and with every dodge, he let out a few more shots, in which Alex dodged. It looked a little like they were dancing, and in my childish moment… well…

_Vampy and Andy, Fighting on a street. K-I-L-L-I-N-G. First comes blood, then comes carnage, then- Wow, that's not mentally disturbing…_

Another shot rang out, and I wondered why the police weren't investigating the sound of gunfire, which was the whole reason why they were here. The thought was short lived, because Heinkel's grip tightened even more and I flinched into her clenching fist, as if to ease the pain that she was now causing.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow…" I whispered, hissing through my teeth. I looked up and realized why Heinkel had decided to try to pop my arm off. One of Alucard's shots had gotten Alex's shoulder, right above where the heart is. Alex stood leaned over, and I saw he had caught one in the thigh, too.

"Come on, Judas Priest! Get up! I've seen your tricks; I know your nowhere near death!" Alucard laughed maliciously, and it sent shivers up my spine. Alex looked up to Alucard in a mixture of hate and excitement. My eyes widened as the bullets that had been lodged in Alex's body were just sort of… pushed out.

"Aye, demon." Alex stood to his full height, and he was about as tall as Vampy was, which is pretty damn tall. He too, smiled. "But thes time…" he started, "I'm gonnae send ye tae hell!" And he charged forward. This apparently surprised Alucard for some reason, and his smirk quickly turned into a shocked expression. He jumped back, dodging Alex's swings, but his 'luck' was running out. When he tried to shoot at Alex, he only got a few bullets out before a distinct click signified he was out of ammo, and Alex just kept going at it. He finally made a hit.

His blade went through Alucard's gut, and the blood sprayed the wall as Alex jerked it out. But he didn't stop there, oh no. He round house kicked Alucard and made sure that his face went into the wall. My own face went backwards in a 'Oh, that must have hurt!' reflex. I knew I probably should have been more worried about the ancient vampire, with him saving me from being killed then and there in this very alley, but I couldn't bring myself to. I don't think it was that I didn't care about the guy dying as much as deep down; I actually knew that he wouldn't be put down that easily.

And, for that very reason, I wasn't surprised when he turned his face back towards the priest and he was smiling.

"Ah-hahahaha! Yes! Stab me! Decapitate me! Slash my heart out!" Okay… he may actually be crazier than I am… and that's sayin' something.

Anderson smirked, "Hahaha! An' don't think I won't!" He raised his blade and brought it down into Alucard's neck… or at least, he tried…

"Don't even think about it! We've been through this before, Iscariot."

**A/N …Ahem… so… I like dots… DOT DOT DOT … … … :D So, how was it? Not the best chapter, I know… I need to get better at action scenes… Anybody wanna help me with that? I iz sorry. Also, forgive any OOCness, I was high on allergy medicine while writing most of this, and my laziness and homework forbids me from correcting it… I promise the OOC monsters won't be in ALL the chapters, maybe one or two, where they are needed. **

**Reviewing reviews:**

Shaun-the-Sheep: Aww, I wouldn't go as far as legend, after all, I'm taking forever to get to the REAL plot… gotta work on that… I've hinted at it but haven't really said "HERE IT IS!" yet. And thanks. I had to involve Iscariot, how could I not? It ain't hellsin' without them! I'm going to get more Alucard in, don't worry, this is just a taste, I'm going to give him lots more dialogue later. You, I think, are the only one who's reviewed on the majority of the chapters, like, 5 of them. So thank you!

(name that can't be saved on fanfiction -.-): Sorry for the sadness, but you were warned :) Also, thanks for saying that you like my writing style :) soz for makin' you wait :( I hope you stick with the story as well :3

Etcher: Alright! Last minute reviewer! Lol. Thanks for the compliments on both stories, it means a lot :3 I do try to keep Alu at an arm's length, if I somehow manage to get the two of them talking I'm going to ease into it, meaning it might take a while, though not as long as some might think. AND no. The murderous priest didn't get me. Softball did… oh, and algebra, history, –insert rambling here- But seriously, thanks for reviewing. :3

**So, I don't really know if I should be advertising this seeing as how bad and weird it is, but oh well. I wrote another story, which is most likely a oneshot. "Changing the Past". Yes, as the summary says, it is entirely random, but it can be somewhat, more or less, taken as a prequel to this story…in a way… or not… BUT there is a reason for the weirdness –drum roll please- the day I wrote it was the first day I had to take said allergy medicine, which contains a steroid. It also made me hyper, aggressive, and sometime hungry. SLAP AHH! See?... Bye. Thanks for the reviews and please keep 'em comin'!**

**REVIEW PLEASE**


	11. Accidents Happen

**What Once Was****  
**

**A/n: As you can see, the title changed and the summary will with the next update. Okay, sorry this took longer than expected, I apparently didn't save what I had of the beginning of this chapter, so I had to do it over… which sucks because I really liked the way it was going and now I can't remember it. Let's see how I do…**

**Edit: I just spent two frickin hours last night until two o'clock looking for a song/music video and couldn't find it, even using a bunch of keywords on youtube. Then I take up the search again the next day and find it in less than 15 minutes using two words. WHAT. THE. FUCK.**

…**It was totally worth it, since then I watched it (Mordred's Lullaby) like 10 times and got the song on my ipod. 'Tis my new favorite song :3**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: Bow chicka wow-wow!  
Anderson: (-_-)**

Chapter 11: Accidents Happen

Anderson paused and spun to speculate who dared interrupt his 'execution'. Of course, he probably already knew who it was; that voice is hardly forgettable. Alucard seemed to be disappointed as well, for some psychotic reason. He was still on his knees in front of Anderson- something that I would never be able to imagine- but his smile wasn't there; instead, in its place was a distinct frown. However, it was nothing compared to Anderson's glare, and I'm sure the assassins behind me were displaying similar looks.

"Aye, we've been through thes before. But 'at hasnae stopped us previously, has it?" Alexander spoke, his voice tainted with hate. Since she was even farther back than the assassins, I didn't see Sir Integra's reaction to his words. I had a pretty good guess of what she looked like though: disrespected and pissed. But, her next sentence made me think twice about her composure.

"Nonetheless, under the power of Her Majesty, I order you to lower your weapon and leave England immediately."

"Ye?" He laughed. "Ye order me? As I see it…" he paused, and faster than I could blink he was out of sight, assumedly in front of Sir Hellsing. I heard a distinct metal on metal sound, "Ye are in nae position tae be givin' me orders." His threat confirmed my suspicions on the metal on metal being the clink of his blades… most likely inches from her vitals. She still remained calm… for the most part.

"How dare you? You couldn't be any more at the mercy of my servant-"

"Th' mercy of th' monster? Ha! I hud him oan his knees beggin' fur death!" There was silence for a moment. I tried to turn towards the conversation but found it a bit difficult. Huh… I hadn't noticed the knife Heinkel had to my back… Shit.

"Alucard doesn't beg for death. He merely asks for entertainment, as sick as it is. Now, I'll say it again. Take your leave, while you still can." No one spoke, and there wasn't an audible hint to signify that they were cooperating. There was a clear scraping sound that was most definitely Yumie unsheathing her katana… thing. Great. Just great. If anyone here gets killed it's going to be my fault. Who's brilliant idea was it for me to go to the museum anyway?

I let out a sigh only to be met by more pressure from the knife. God, can't a stressed person sigh?

"Alucard," Integra spoke.

"Yes, Master Integra?" I turned to see Alucard had stood to full height free of any damages he had recently displayed.

"Enough of _this_." Now it was obvious I was confused, but Alucard caught her meaning. I did too when the red and black realm disappeared.

I could sense the glare on her face as she continued, "You and Seras have permission to use force to get Iscariot out of England. No deaths and no fatal injuries; the last thing the organization needs is another war."

"Yes master." Footsteps that I'm sure belonged to Sir Hellsing started retreating, and a _whoosh _of wind led me to think Alexander had stepped in her path.

"Oan 'at war subject I agree with ye. But we'll leave oan one condition, Protestant," his thick Scottish accent spoke, and I became nervous when a little more pressure was inserted in my back. I heard a quiet tear in my clothing, causing me to arch forward ever so slightly. I spotted Vampy eyeing me and the assassins as well.

"State your condition." The pressure… The pressure!

"Ow!" I jumped when the knife had gone a little too far, and my ability to lean forward anymore being restricted. I heard a small chuckle, and I resisted the urge to step on her foot.

Ignoring me, Alexander went on, "The lass comes wi' us. I willnae stand tae see a yoong lass tae be tainted by th' likes of ye."

_Oh, great… I thought he was going to say to kil- WHAT?_

Something told me Heinkel was surprised too, because this time I'm sure the knife broke skin.

"OU-CH!"

"Father Anderson, are you sure about this? Minutes ago you were getting ready to kill her!"

"Silence Heinkel. 'At is mah condition." There again was quiet. My mind was a different story.

_Oh shit, oh shit, oh _shit! _Please say no, God please let her say no! And please get the knife out of my back, but PLEASE let her say no!_

_Oh my god just shut up already… ^_

_Fuck you! I'd like to see you in this situation!_

_I am…^_

"Can I have a say in this?" I spoke up. It was a little weak, but then again I was only an inch away from being paralyzed or dead. My response?_ Half _an inch from being paralyzed or dead. What else?

I hissed through my teeth when the knife was pushed in a smidge further, and I took this as an obvious sign to shut-up.

It got quiet again as Integra pondered her decision. I was a little in relief, you know, her not saying 'Thank heavens, take her and be gone you Paladin, you!' right away… To be honest I can't picture her saying the last part…

"What was Grace's decision? It's obvious she already has an opinion," Integra finally spoke.

"Th' lass is too young tae know what's good fur her." I scoffed at this. If he was judging me on my age, just wait until he saw my personality. What has this to do with anything? Absolutely nothing.

"I disagree. She's been through more than you think, Catholic. I think she knows good and well what's best for her."

"'En yer judgment is jist as deficient as always." He sighed. "I didn't want tae have tae do thes, but thes way she's one less threat in th' future, nae matter how small it may be. Heinkel-"

"You wouldn't dare murder a member of Hellsing in my presence in our home field. Her Majesty-"

I stopped listening. The metal that seemed to slowly dig deeper into my back never ceased, and the pain only grew more. Out of some kind of sense, I could tell Heinkel was enjoying every second of this. She knew she was going to get out alive, Hellsing and Iscariot wouldn't start a war over my dead body. Literally. In fact, at best it would only raise tensions slightly at best before they swatted it away like a mosquito. Oh, the irony of bloodsucking creatures. Yes, even at a time like this I joke, it may be the only thing keeping me sane, no matter how little sense it makes.

I took a deep breath and tried my best to find a position that eased the sting in any way possible.

"That is _enough! _Iscariot, leave England! I will not have your insults or your violence anywhere near my country!"

"Ye stupid Protestant whore! I don't want ye anywhaur near existence-"

"_SILENCE!_" The yelling was enough to bring me out of my thoughts, and now I wish it weren't. Never before had I heard Integra so enraged, I couldn't even imagine what her face looked like.

"Seras, Alucard, you are authorized to use deadly force, is that clear?"

"Yes Sir!" Hm. So that's what Seras sounded like. Alucard just nodded his head, and his feline-ish smirk appeared. Yes, I just compared Dracula himself to a tabby.

I heard rustling of clothing and I could picture the guards that Sir Hellsing brought with her move to guard her and prepare for the kill. A few clinks were heard as Vampy and the others loaded their weapons. Anderson came into my vision as he started to speak to the other Catholics.

"Ready yer arms, th' abominations 'at they ur, thes willnae be an easy feat."

"Father, this goes against The Pope's approval-"

"His Holiness is nae here, though, is he?" He got into a fighting stance and not a second after, the gunfire began. Anderson became a blur in his dodging movements, and I was pulled to the right, towards a wall and away from the shooting.

The _whoosh _of bullets went on for a time, Heinkel occasionally pulling her knife away to deflect one. Then, I heard the most disgusting sound possible. The sound of blades slashing through flesh and the agonizing gasps of someone who was just sliced-and-diced. My face twisted into repulsion when I felt something wet on my hand.

"Damn, that blood got some distance," I whispered as I looked to see crimson red droplets trickle down my fingers. I shook my hand slightly trying to get it off, but I only accomplished getting it on my pants.

Sighing in frustration, I tried once again to turn and see the action. Heinkel's loosened grip made it possible to do so, but upon realizing that I had room to move she tightened her fist back around my shoulder.

I saw what I more or less expected; Anderson had segmented Integra's guards into about four pieces, which lay in a bloody heap on the ground. What I didn't expect was the reason the blood had gotten on my hand was that Alexander had stuck at least five blade through Alucard's torso maybe four feet away. With the guards down all Seras could do was make sure the Catholics didn't hurt Integra. Yumie was in front of her, sword at the ready looking for an opening. Seras was wielding this huge weapon that looked more like a cannon than a gun. Integra stood behind Seras, emotionless ice blue eyes glancing at her dismantled guards.

Vampy's back was to me, so I couldn't see his face, but I was pretty sure he was grinning.

"Is this all you've got, Judas Priest? Is this the best you can do? Come on, I want a real fight! A challenge only a worthy opponent can give!" Alucard made one swift movement, breaking the blades embedded in him before the rest of what was left melted out of the holes they left behind in his chest. And soon enough, those wounds were gone too.

I heard a low growl that grew into a roar, and I realized Anderson was unleashing his anger and frustration. Loud footsteps thundered in the alleyway, charging straight for the vampire that had enough strength to kill us all. Of course, I couldn't see him because Vampy was blocking my view, so it's only normal that I was surprised when Alucard dissolved into mist revealing Anderson, whom by the look of his face, was almost as surprised as I was.

Almost.

Anderson was running at full speed.

From the looks of things he couldn't stop.

And he ran right into me head on.

The collision was like nothing I had ever felt, ever. He had been running at inhuman speed which explains why he couldn't stop before slamming me into the wall. Heinkel's knife was still in my back and now it had friends.

That's right, judging by the pain intensity; Anderson had accidentally driven both of his blades into my torso, and forced the knife in my back almost as far as it could go. The pain… It was unbearable. Up until now I had basically been chanting 'Pain is in the mind, ease the mind, ease the pain' in my head, dulling the knife's sting. But this was beyond that, this was fucking swords making holes completely through flesh and bone. Not only that, it felt like it was… burning… Not just the sting, it felt as if it was on fire…

My eyes had widened, I was recoiled over Anderson's arms and against the wall trapping part of Heinkel's body, and I'm pretty sure I had spit up some blood. Damn it; that meant it had pierced my lungs…

I gasped for breath when I realized I wasn't breathing, but found it to be increasingly difficult. My legs buckled, and then I was entirely reliant on Anderson's form for balance. Didn't last too long, he recovered from the surprise of lounging his blades into me and pulled them out, releasing an all new pain, and I fell forward, away from the knife and Heinkel. I landed on my knees before going all the way and I laid sprawled on the alley floor. My vision became blurred from the blood rush and I crossed my arms over my chest to cover my wounds. I scrunched my eyes shut and tried to hide my face from the observers. Blood started trickling from the corner of my mouth down my chin to finally drip on the ground.

There was some silence; apart for my desperate breathing that is. I assumed it was because no one thought that Alexander would make a mistake and fatally wound me when he was going for Alucard. His anger must have gotten the best of him; he must have gone full rampage and put everything he had into that attack.

My lips hardened into a thin line.

That attack was meant for none other than Dracula himself. It hit me.

I wasn't going to make it.

"Ye…" I heard Anderson start. "Ye Monster!" Then there was a raspy sound. Was that laughter?

"Coward! Ye dodged mah attack and made a lass take it fur ye-" Anderson was cut off by even more laughter. I opened my eyes enough to see Anderson's figure standing before me, and past him I could see the Vampire dressed in red laughing at him. Seras stood behind him, and behind her stood Integra. Both girls had a shocked expression on their faces. Even Integra, the calmest person I knew, had a surprised look in her eyes.

My chest spiked with pain and I quickly shut my eyes and rapped my arms tighter. A quiet groan escaped me as the wounds in my chest and back started throbbing and burning more intensely while the rest of my body was starting to go cold from blood loss.

I coughed once and blood spurted onto the concrete. I just lay there, watching my life draining out of me, and every moment that passed I got more and more tired. I had no idea that this is what my dad faced when he was talking to us in the hospital, this kind of exhaustion was unbearable.

'_Are you tired, girl?' _I looked up to the vampire laughing at the priest and quite possibly my pain.

I tried to answer but I found it difficult to talk, and then I remembered I could answer through thought.

_I… I might be… _Alucard's laughter quieted to a chuckle and then settled into a grin.

"Look what you've done Judas Priest, you may have very well murdered a young catholic girl in cold blood. And against orders?" His grin widened mockingly. "Well, now that's unacceptable."

"Alucard, silence," Integra interfered. She had gotten over her shock and was glaring at her pet and the priest. "Iscariot, you have done more than enough damage; leave now before I declare a war for my soldiers you've slaughtered and fatally wounding our errand runner."

I could tell Anderson went to say something, as he had taken a defensive step forward looking to retaliate. But he calmed down and stood up straight. Then the assassins went to say something in place of Alexander but he hushed them with a look. Heinkel seemed to pout and frown, particularly at Seras.

"Roond up th' yoong ones, we're headin' home." He started to walk out of the alley past Alucard, Seras, and Integra but he stopped when Yumie started to say protests.

"We cannae risk another war," he snapped, then he continued walking out of the alley, rounding the corner. Yumie and Heinkel seemed to reluctantly follow after. That is, I wasn't sure if it was reluctant or disappointedly… my sight was now dimming. I now understood the meaning of 'Seeing the light leave your eyes' now. I closed my eyes, annoyed at my disability to see and decided to rely on my hearing; that is until I either became fully drained of blood or exhaustion won out and I passed out. Whichever came first. It was taking everything I had to stay awake; I was in fear of what would happen if I gave in.

A short silence followed the Iscariot's departure, Seras interrupted it.

"Um… Sir? You didn't happen to bring a medical crew along-"

"Quiet, Seras. Walter, I need you to send a few medical personal to my location without delay. No, they aren't hurt, they're both dead. Miss Grace has. Yes, now have you alerted and dispatched them yet? Good." I heard a phone shut. "Alucard?"

"…Yes Master?"

I flinched and wrenched my eyes open when there was a gun shot.

Integra was holding a gun aimed at Alucard… whom was now in the process of healing a massive hole in his left shoulder. I sighed in relief, seeing that the Iscariots weren't the ones with the gun, and closed my eyes to listen some more. I did hug my arms even tighter around myself, though.

"How dare you, slave? How many times have I told you to not toy with your enemies? It only costs me soldiers and in this case a teenager! I'd shoot you with silver if it didn't waste ammunition… or bring you joy, for that matter."

"…In my defense, Master Integra, I haven't had the opportunity to battle with the priest for close to 14 years. I was hoping to savor the experience."

"None the less, you have lost me two of my men this encounter, and quite possibly a past soldier's daughter whom has been entrusted to my care. She has hardly been living in the mansion for a month after both of her parent's recent deaths and this happens!"

"…You sound like you care, Master?" I could almost feel his devilish grin.

"Any being with a living heart would, you sick bastard."

"Uh… I care…" Seras piped up.

"You're the exception, not the rule." Alucard's voice sounded bored if not slightly irritated.

"Relax, Seras, you act like that's a bad thing," Integra comforted the apparently hurt Draculina.

I figured they started walking around from the footsteps and decided to crack an eye. I flinched in surprised when I found Seras to be kneeling in front of me. I sighed and proceeded to moan at the pain all the movement was causing.

"You're still conscious? You must be fighting some battle with your body, huh?" I just looked up at her. Of course I was, I had three gashes that were bleeding me out! She looked uneasy under my stare so she turned away and sat beside me, dodging the growing puddle of blood.

I sighed once more and flinched, again, at the pain it caused me. I closed my eyes and tried to make the throbbing and burning subside.

_Stay awake, whatever you do don't go to sleep… You may not wake up. Stay awake… Dull the pain… Why is it burning…? S-shouldn't it just sting?_

My body twitched from the next throb which had turned into a painful pulse.

"What is taking them so long? I told them no delay!" came the frustrated voice of Integra. Now she knew what I had felt when she was taking forever to show up.

It felt like forever until someone else spoke up.

"I'm going home; nothing interests me here." The air grew warmer and the deadly presence that I had grown used to after the past hour or so disappeared. I had grown too tired to open my eyes; I had exerted all my energy into just staying awake… and alive. But I think it was safe to assume that Alucard had left the area.

I could finally hear what was going on outside the alley now. Annoyed chatter sounded where the tourists were still sitting and the sirens of police cars were blaring. Or maybe that was the medical people Integra called for?

"Finally, they're here."

_Yeah, it's the med people._

I heard Integra walk off and I heard distant yelling that sounded a lot like 'Where have you been!' There was some shuffling and I tried to guess what was going on, but for the life of me I couldn't. I was just too tired and the pain clouded my mind.

"Wow she took some damage, is she still alive?" a male voice said.

"Oh, just shut up and get her onto the gurney!" another male voice snapped.

"She was still alive 20 or so minutes ago, her eyes opened and looked at me," Seras's voice informed.

I realized I had been picked up and set onto a softer surface, probably the gurney they were talking about. I felt some pressure on my wounds and neck, most likely they were applying pressure trying to save any blood I had left and checking to see if my heart was still beating.

"Hook up an I.V, we need to get more blood in her, she's still bleeding out," the first male voice said. "How long has she been in this condition?"

"Um… I don't know, 30, 40 minutes?" Seras answered, Integra was still yelling at the doctors for taking so long and probably instructing them on what to do with what was left of her guards.

"That long? Man, it's a miracle she's still alive."

"Yeah, let's hope she stays that way. What's her name?"

"Grace."

"Isn't that fitting? Okay, Grace, are you conscious? Can you show us if you are?"

"Come on, Josh. It's amazing enough she still has a pulse, don't expect her to open her ey-"

I put everything I had into opening my eyes; if they needed to know if I was conscious so they could begin to patch me up or numb me I needed to show them that I was. God knows I didn't need to feel any more pain, Anderson's blades still hurt like hell.

My barely open eyes looked up at the half covered face of the one who was doubting if I was awake or not. He looked somewhat surprised but recovered quickly as his profession called for.

"Okay, Grace, we're going to give you an anesthetic which will numb you okay? It's also going to make you unconscious, but don't worry. We're going to do everything we can to make sure you wake up, okay?" I answered him the only way I could, I continued to look at him and he ordered his partner, Josh, to get the anesthetic ready. I on the other hand decided to be a downer and looked at this like it was just any other job to them and they wouldn't be giving me special treatment. Then again, I was only being realistic. I looked at my surroundings before I closed my eyes again.

I was in a vehicle, it wasn't moving yet but it looked like Seras had left and the doors to the back had closed.

"Okay, Grace, we're going to put this breathing mask to your face and we want you to breath in deeply for us, alright? You're going to feel sleepier than you already are but we want you to give into it so the drug can work," the doctor commanded. I didn't answer, simply obeyed when I felt something plastic put on my face and I ignored the pain it caused seeing as it wouldn't matter in a few seconds.

Their voices became really distant and I did what I was told. I didn't hesitate to do what I had been trying not to all along. I slipped into a sleep, the throbbing subdued to a soft hum.

My last thoughts before I befell into a world of darkness…

_God, let me wake up. But if not… please welcome me into your paradise with those I love. But please, let me wake up._

**A/N: Yes! I have presented thee with a cliffy! Flourish in it for it shows that I will update again! … eventually… Ah, lighten up, I have a life you know. Plus, I got grounded for a while… writers block, I have more excuses but I don't think you are interested.**

**I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter, initially Grace was going to get hit with a few stray bullets but I like this better, it gave me an idea for a subplot. I really am sorry for the wait though, in my defense I didn't get many reviews to go off of. Speaking of which:**

Etcher: Thank you for reviewing, and when I saw how long your review is I almost cried… haha, just kidding, but I loved it to death.

School's over, so that's one less reason to not write, but I have tons more excuses not that it matters, sorry this chapter took so long.

I thank you for complimenting my OC, and don't worry, I don't plan on taking away her crazy. Her personality may turn to overly cautious for a little bit in the future but hey, if you just got skewered I bet you would too.

And I was expecting something about the action scenes, I ain't good at them, plus this is my first story ever and I actually wasn't planning that it would turn out to be this long but- I digress, I'll work on the action to the point that it at least makes sense.

Also, like I said, it really isn't Hellsing without Iscariot, had to have them in there sooner or later and this gives me an excuse to get into the real plot.

I'm happy you didn't see any OOCness, I wasn't sure which is why I apologized ahead of time.

As for the lines you liked… heheh, would you believe the K-I-L-L-I-N-G didn't take any effort to come up with at all? Yeah… that fact more or less scared ME.

Thanks again for the review :)

**Phew, that is one long reviewer review, one for the books :) Anyways, I'm expecting some reviews to come this way after this, after all it did take a seriously big chunk of my time considering writer's block (Seriously, for those of you who don't write you have NO IDEA how frustrating it is). And let's see… oh yes, if you follow my other story Dirty Minds, that's my next priority, just so you know.**

**Thanks for reading! :D**

**REVIEW**


	12. Waking Up

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long, but now that school's started AGAIN and now I'm in high school I don't guarantee frequent updates. I appreciate your patience and hope that you review. BY THE WAY. This is where the twist comes in, and even though I'm HORRIBLE at planning, I think it ended up connecting pretty well, no?**

**Disclaimer:**

"**OMG I actually own Hellsing!"  
-Looks around and sees Hellsing characters closing in-  
"Back, I say!" They keep walking.  
Hirano comes outta nowhere, "Kill."  
"…Son of a…"**

**Warning: Language**

Chapter 12: ...In More Ways Than One

Integra POV:

It was a week after the incident the stupid girl had made. Had she not gone to the blasted museum, she wouldn't be in a coma-like state and I wouldn't have lost any soldiers, but no. She had to go out of her way and find the ONE surviving group on this bloody planet that's still out to get us!

_It does seem rather coincidental though; the fact that she came across the Paladin that wasn't even supposed to be here. Fate must really hate her._

I turned my gaze away from the table that harbored Grace's unconscious body. Her breathing was even, but her heart rate was slow. She would twitch from time to time; but it wasn't a minor twitch. Her arm or some other appendage would appear to flex for a minute or so. Four days ago, when it started, my staff thought it was signs of her waking up. Now they say they don't know if she will. The knife that went through her back damaged her spine, possibly paralyzing her. We would have thought so if it weren't for her twitches/spasms. One of Andersons bayonets came awfully close to her heart as well as through a lung. She was indeed in pretty bad shape.

I began to walk out of the medical ward and head for my office when one of my mercenaries came running up to me, this particular one being the one Grace had grown close to.

"Sir Integra," he addressed and saluted me.

"At ease." His arms went to his sides. "Report."

"All targets were silenced, Seras was called in but Mr. Alucard was not needed. We checked the perimeter and confirmed there are no ghoul or vampiric survivors."

"Casualties?"

"Three, at one point we were taken by surprise by a small group of ghouls."

I grimaced making him shrink away slightly. "I will not have that in my organization, be more cautious. I don't want to lose men if I can avoid it, understood?"

He nodded, "Yes, Sir!"

"Good, I want a full report on my desk within the hour." He nodded once again before hastily walking away.

That being done I continued to my office to take some pills for my rising headache. Alucard hadn't been irritating me lately, there was bound to be a storm coming.

Sure enough, there he was in all his glory. My servant stood next to my desk gazing out of my open window, his black hair and coat waving from the draft that was blowing in. His hat and glasses sat on a nearby table. He turned at my arrival with a bored, casual look on his face. It seemed this expression often adorned his features of late…

"Master," he acknowledged with a nod. I kept walking to my desk without breaking stride and quickly opened the drawer to take out my medication and cigars. I expertly cut off the end and lit my cigar before taking my pills with a shot of liquor, not caring about the warning.

"What is it you want, Alucard?" I finally asked, picking up my pin to start on my piling paperwork.

"Short or long term?" I looked up to see the smirk in his voice wasn't on his face; however his eyes were glowing red in amusement.

"What is it that you want _now,_" I verified. He sighed and turned back to the window, securely holding his hands behind his back. I inhaled deeply on my cigar.

"I was curious about the girl… she is a catholic, is she not?" This was news to me. I figured that when I heard her say she was catholic she was trying to get out of conflict… and if Anderson bought it I figured he just us so much he was willing to kill any association, even one of his own religion. Interesting.

"What of it?"

"This organization is strictly Protestant. It is a part of the Royal Order of Protestant Knights, after all. What do you plan on doing with her? Cast her out?"

My stare stayed cold and hard while my lips twitched into a smirk, "Why is it that you ask? Do you care?"

"Not at all. It's just that when you get as bored as I do, any idea that might cause misery is interesting… no matter how insignificant."

I thought on this for a moment before giving him my answer. "No count, I do not plan on casting her out. Though I have not adopted her, as I probably never will, I accepted her into my custody when her mother died. It was her mother's wishes were her time to come, and she had a…" I sighed at my next words, "'sob-story' that I couldn't say no to."

Alucard's eyes flickered with minor interest. "Going soft, are we Master?"

My responding glare could have killed him if he were alive. "Not in the least." I looked down, "She does remind me a little of my younger years though… while mine were a little rougher we have been through extremely similar events."

His eyebrow quirked up, "Care to elaborate?"

I looked up at the burned portrait of my father (this portrait was taken out of storage since the other one was burned). "Our parents both died while we were young. We both have suffered socially and mentally. We were both exposed to a supernatural world; though it was easier for me since I was brought up in it. And we both suffered physically, me from a gunshot, her from several blades. I'm left wandering if after all that, is there anything left of her like there was for me?"

"Do you worry for her?" he asked after a long silence.

"In a sense. A teenager I had some relation to has come into a close encounter with death, anyone would worry. I'm more interested to see how she pulls through."

"You don't' go to see her very often. There's the occasional Walter and Police Girl… whom seems the only one to visit every few days. Doesn't surprise me, her still trying to hang on to any humanity she has left." His face twisted up in disgust, even though she was doing much better and was drinking the blood given to her.

"The mercenary goes every day he can," I corrected.

"Well that's a given," he said nonchalantly. He glanced back outside, at the moon.

"How I wish I had something to kill this night…" he said almost in a daze. Just then my phone rang and I picked it up. The voice on the other end spoke clearly and quickly. When it was finished I hung up and glanced at the spot Alucard was only moments before. His voice drifted through the walls,

"_Speak of the devil…"_ and following was his laughter.

Grace POV

I was in a collage of all of my past nightmares, and even some past events. I had lost count how many times I saw my father die in his hospital bed, how many times I saw what was left of my home burning in the night. I couldn't fathom how many times I had run through the woods to come across a battle field clearing, only to meet the one in red and to see my dad suffer yet again. How I longed for the image of me balancing on the edge of heaven and hell, running away from monsters and parents, to stop. The sight of the mansion and its residents flickered by every now and then, until I was all caught up to what happened recently… or what I thought was recent.

I saw what was supposed to be an alley, now coated in blood and black shadows. I saw a priest, coming at me too fast to make out what was happening. I saw a disfigured Master Vampire, grinning at the chaos around him. And then there were those in the background… they seemed less important, so far off that I couldn't match their faces with names. My time to figure out this image ended, and the images shifted yet again.

This time there stood but three figures; I fully matched two faces to be Alucard's and Anderson's, but the third was a stranger. This newcomer's face was half covered by some kind of military hat and coat; which bore the Nazi emblem. He had white hair, and determined red eyes. Something told me this one wasn't a vampire, though. No, he was a different race, I could feel it.

The image dissolved once again to reveal a new one… this too was an image I had never seen before. I only recognized two of the people. One was vaguely familiar while the other was Dracula himself… the only difference was that he had longer hair and facial hair. His eyes were enraged and demanding; they were looking at a group of men along with a few women. He was shouting, about what I wasn't sure. My mind had given me the peace of no audibility. One boy came out of the crowd. He was the one who looked vaguely familiar, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't come up with where I'd seen him. He looked to be in his late teens, and wore rags, as if he was a peasant or laborer. He got down on his knees and bowed to Alucard, only to sit up on his knees in a respectful manner and speak face down. The No-Life King's eyes changed and became less angry, before turning to walk away into his castle.

I looked back at the boy. He was standing now, and turning to his own direction. I noticed the rest of the group had dispersed; nowhere in sight. I wondered on this briefly, but continued watching as the boy broke into an inhuman run. His form began to change… and in a blink you would have missed it. There in the new surroundings, a forest, stood a large wolf with some human characteristics. A werewolf. He looked up at the moon and howled, and then he turned his gaze… to me. He seemed to be looking right at _me._

Before I could speak and ask if he could see me, I was in a void. It is difficult to describe; it had no color, and I wasn't actually there. It was the definition of nothingness. The only thing that existed was thought.

_What are these trying to tell me? They are too detailed to be created by my own imagination, and I wouldn't put this passed the supernaturals anymore. Not with what I know. What are these images supposed to mean? They aren't even nightmares._

"_Mom," _I turned to see me and my mom in our old house. We were all sitting at the dinner table, including dad. This was a memory… I could remember this one.

"_Yes, sweet heart?" _she asked. My mouthed slipped into a dreamy smile. I was remembering what I asked next, something many of us elementary kids asked when we were kids.

"_Am I adopted?" _Dad coughed on his food and blamed it on the chicken going down the wrong 'pipe'. My mom gave him a warning look that I hadn't noticed in my carefree eight year old body. I did now, with my more highly trained eyes. She turned back to the me sitting at the table.

"_Of course not, why would you ask such a thing?" _she gave a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. Speaking of, her eyes seemed to look farther than the walls she appeared to be staring at.

"_Some of the people at school said I was."_ My younger self stated matter of fact like. I crossed my arms… well, both versions of me did actually.

"_Well I assure you that _you're_ not, we have pictures of your birth to date if you'd like to see,_" dad said. His eyes widened at what he just said and I noticed my mom kneed him under the table. How odd…

"_Eww, blech… who wants to be reminded that they're THIS young?" _I said, getting down from the table. My parents both visibly relaxed.

_What are they hiding? _I thought.

"_I'm going to Carly's house, I mean… ahem, can I go to Carly's house, please?" _I asked. Her name stung, but only slightly.

"_Of course you can, have fu-"_

The memory cut off. I was no longer focusing on it. No, I was deep in thought. What were they hiding? Was I actually adopted? No, that's not it. Even I recognized that me and my mom looked so much alike. But then why did they freeze up when Dad mentioned pict-

_Click_

-Ures… oh my god… the boy talking to Dracula… and in the forest… the wolf-thing… he looked like a younger version of the guy in the pictures I found a month before, when I finally got settled at Hellsing and when I found out their secret. The guy that held me as a baby, the one I couldn't remember, supposedly the voice that spoke lovingly to me! NO! This had to be my imagination, my head is making this up! The image of Dracula with the werewolves is just the result of too many vampire and werewolf movies, and maybe a brain that wants answers…

_Yeah, that's it, heheh, my brain just wants answers so much that it will go to extents to make up its own! _

My mental eye twitched in a crazed fashion. If I hadn't lost my mind before this, then now my brain was definitely out the door and halfway across the world.

"So you finally figure it out, but you deny it?" the new voice 'tut'ed in a negative manner. "I thought you were smarter than that."

I was still in the nothingness void, so there wasn't really anything to turn and see, but the voice went with the face that led the monster after me… I think in the heaven and hell nightmare.

"Very good, you aren't a complete loss after all."

"I haven't figured out anything, it's just my imagination and the fact that I've gone crazy." My voice came out of nowhere, saying exactly what I was thinking.

"Ah, but that's the 'denial' part."

"I'd say prove I'm wrong, but I don't think I want you to…" A mental image of him shrugging breached my thoughts.

"You want proof? I'll give you proof. I'll just have to scare you awake, first." He looked to be in a thinking position in my thoughts, but just as I thought I was in the clear, all of the nightmarish reflections came at me all at once, along with my worst memories. To put it simply, I screamed.

No POV

Daniel Berk sat scratching on a piece of paper, his report of the last mission to Sir Integra. He came across a line that said 'date' and wrote down 'Oct 14, 2015.' He then chuckled to himself sadly and looked at the girl lying on the hospital bed next to him.

"Happy Birthday, Grace." He returned to his report when the girl twitched. He watched her carefully for a minute, and then her whole upper body broke into a full out spasm. This was strange to him, the spasms usually only affected her arms or legs.

"Hey Doc, can you come look at this?" Daniel called, not taking his eyes off Grace. The spasms were spreading to her lower body now, and she was shaking the whole bed. The doctor came over and furrowed his eyes in confusion. He picked up a nearby clipboard and flipped back a paper.

"What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Are you kidding me? You look at me in the eyes and tell me that doesn't look painful!"

"The data tells me that the contractions are normal happenings since a few days ago-"

"But they weren't this violent or widespread." Walter had entered the room with the doctor's lunch, which was now on a desk.

"Could it be possible she's waking up?" Daniel asked the doctor.

"I'm… not sure, it could just be that the seizures are getting worse?" The doctor was frantically flipping through a few files trying to come up with some explanation, all the while the tremors on poor Grace had continued throughout her body and were beginning to shake her off the bed. Daniel went over and situated her back in her original position with some difficulty. And then… it just stopped, one of her arms limp off the side.

The three looked at each other for a minute before turning back to Grace. The only sound was a sped up heart monitor, which confused all of them since her other spasms didn't alter her heart beat.

And then her eyes opened, revealing their hazel color. Daniel held his breath while the doctor continued to search for an explanation.

She sat right up, her eyes unseeing, and widening every second. Her breathing became ragged, and her heart rate sped up even farther.

"What's happening?" Daniel asked the clueless doctor. The only response he got was more shuffling of papers.

That's when she screamed. It was loud; the kind that made you think your ears would start to bleed. She wasn't looking at anything, in fact her eyes were squeezed shut, and she was clutching on her head like it was a life line… or perhaps an intruder that she was trying to get away from?

"Grace! What's wrong? Why are you screaming? Grace, you've gotta answer me so we can help!" Dan's shouts went unheard by the girl. Her eyes stayed closed trying to escape the pain going through her mind and to find an explanation for what was going on. She continued to yell, long and loud. She was beyond all thought, the pain in her head feeling like she was being pierced with scorching hot spears that knew no mercy.

"I don't know what's wrong with her! I'm only human for Pete's sake!" the doctor shouted at something Daniel had yelled. Walter had left to go get Sir Integra, in case she wasn't on her way already. From all the yelling and what not.

"I don't give a damn what you don't know! Find out or you'll have to find a way to work without eyes!" Daniel threatened back. The Doctor's eyes widened before he scurried around some more, without any success.

While their argument was going on, both men had yet to discover that the girl had begun to thrash about. Their attention was finally back to her when they heard a thump followed by more screaming and clattering of metal objects. If you could not tell already, she fell off the bed.

The doctor gave a stern look to the mercenary and quickly said, "Get her back up and restrain her, falling any distance can't be good for her right now, her previous injuries will only get worse!" When Daniel went to do what he was told, he only got half way. He successfully got Grace back onto the hospital bed, but when he tried to restrain her, she screamed louder if that were possible. That's when Sir Integra came in soon followed by a disoriented Walter.

"What in God's name happened?" she screamed, as if there hadn't been enough yelling in the room. The doctor's own hands went to his head and he retaliated with, "I DON'T KNOW!" and he was into his office in a blink.

Everyone in the room now, which included Daniel, Sir Integra, and Walter looked back to the bed only to find it empty. Grace had fallen on the floor again, and while she was still clutching her head, the shrieking had stopped. She was still shaking. The wounds she had already suffered had opened and blood was now seeping through the gauze wrapped tightly around her middle. Sir Integra approached Daniel who was already by Grace's side and looked into the tortured and swollen face of the girl before her.

All was silent. A few moments passed, seeing as no one dared to speak and chance another fit of screeching. Finally, one was brave enough to take that risk.

"… Grace, can you hear m-" Daniel began to ask softly but stopped. She had stopped trembling, and a lone arm moved to reveal a single eye. One that should have been hazel. The two examining the girl gasped.

Looking back at them were eyes that didn't have the normal white and hazel. No, this new eye was black, with an iris of gold.

**The End**

**A/N JUST KIDDING, we're actually just getting to the good stuff :D So… was it worth the wait? Yes, no, somewhat? How'd you like the twist? Just so you know it was planned but as you can probably tell I didn't know when I was actually going to make it happen. This seemed as good a time as any :) Anyways, I am sorry for the wait, I'll trying not to do that very often…**

**Yeah… I don't have much else to say… Thanks for reading this far, hope you stick with it.**

**Etcher**: I just love how long your reviews are and the fact that you actually critique me :)

So… action scenes… blah blah blah I ain't even gonna start imma just role with it.

How's this for a twist? Too strong? I'm hoping it answered some questions, and questions brought up by these answers will be answered later (ironic, isn't it?) Also sorry 'bout the wait… *slaps self* "Bad authoress!"

I'm glad you like the in-characteressness (I'm aware that's not a word) and the fact you think Grace is believable. Would you mind telling me if she's a Mary-sue and if not, how to keep it that way?

Lastly, thanks for pointing out the dialogue. When this is all through and done, maybe I'll go through and make it better, when I get time and I'll work on not doing that kind of thing anymore.  
(BTW, I kinda laughed at the image of Integra saying, "And for fatally wounding our errand runner", is that just me? Lol)

**Just a Reader**: I'm glad you like it and I hope you stick with it, I also thank you for the action scenes compliment :) We'll see how the 'warming up' thing goes, he can't be passive about Grace forever… or can he? Of course he can, but my mind will do what it pleases without Alucard's consent XD Once again, glad you liked it :)

**Eliza: **Thanks for the review and I'm super glad you like it. Yes, confusion does make life a lot more interesting, which is why i ask... why did you say "don't make me wait another year?" The last update was at tops a few months ago but never a year... Anyways, yeah i hope you clear that up cuz now I'M confuzed :D Again, thanks for the great review a awesome complements

**So yeah, thanks for reading, and I'll get the next chapter up sooner than this one! Don't forget to review! I'm kinda hoping that I get 24 total for the whole story (or in the somewhere near future that I get two reviews at least per chapter :)**

**REVIEW PLEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE**


	13. Monster I've Become

**What** **Once Was**

**A/N: I iz sad… you know why? Cuz I only got ONE review… I even asked nicely :(**

**So as punishment, NO STORY FOR YOU. Heheh, just kidding, but seriously, with you people not reviewing you make me think that you couldn't handle the twist :/ I'm only updating because someone added this to their Alerts and for that one person who actually reviewed. (And don't think that's a freebe, I still feel bad about not updating for a long time.) ANYWAYS, so… Well, I applaud ye faithful peoplez who venture this far, and I hopeth ye are brave enough to read farther, to the end! (Whenever that is…) ONWARD! (Yes, I am a dork, thanks for noticing.)**

**Warning: language, pitiful moments, merciless Knights, etc**

**Disclaimer: I doesn't ownz it… *limps away from the approving form of Hirano.***

Chapter 13: Monster I've Become

_~Grace POV~_

"_What the hell?" Daniel finally broke the silence. He was looking at a girl strangely; she was on the floor, sort of curled up. I walked closer, or at least I tried. I seemed to be stuck on my hospital bed. Sir Integra was looking at the girl on the floor as well, her usual composure gone. She appeared shocked and confused, which was weird because I was used to her calm, indifferent attitude._

"_What was all that yelling about? Master came to get me when I-" Seras, who's entrance I hadn't noticed, asked. She was cut off when Dan and Integra tensed, not taking their eyes off of the figure on the floor. Walter took a hesitant step before quickly joining the she-knight, and his face too twisted into puzzlement._

_I was curious, and more than a little put out. I had yet to see what was so surprising, and even if I tried I couldn't move to get a better look._

_The girl on the floor shifted; Integra and Walter held their ground but Dan gave her more space._

"_What's wrong with her? Why are you leaving her on the ground? Where's the doctor-" Seras was cut off._

"_That quack couldn't do anything for her if he tried." Alucard had made his grand entrance. Ha, seems the whole group is here, now if only I knew what they were looking at…_

"_Alucard, what's the meaning of this?" Integra demanded of him. Alucard gave a dramatic 'hmph' before going on,_

"_Why is it that every time something goes wrong in this organization you blame me?"_

"_Because you're the only one capable of such madness. What is wrong with her, since you seem to know more than we do?" Her face became cold, while his remained in a grin._

"_Now what would be the fun in telling you that?" he inquired taking a step further into the crowding room. In the corner of my eye, I noticed the girl's breathing became more ragged. The only other who seemed to perceive this was Daniel._

"_Is this a game to you?"_

"_Do you really want me to answer that?" He took another step, and the girl stiffened before fidgeting. Once again, only Dan noticed._

"_I order you to just tell me what is wrong damn it!" All the while, with every step the master vampire took, the girl seemed to get even more restless. Before long she let out a low, hard to hear growl. This made Alucard's smirk widen. He stopped when he was within legs length of the girl's body._

_The warning growl lengthened, only the vampires, Dan, and I heard it. _

"_Nothing is wrong with her," he started. "She just finally decided to… come out."_

_Everything happened so fast, I was still disoriented when I realized I wasn't in the same place I was a few seconds ago. I looked about. The bed I was on had been tossed and had hit the far wall with me still on it. Apparently, whatever was the main attraction of this circus, it didn't like bloodsuckers. The girl stood up and pulled her are (the one that sent me back 15 feet) back to her side. Her fists clenched, and from what I could see so did her jaw. The others in the room reacted to this; Walter was in front of Sir Integra, Seras had moved to Walter's side, Dan had retreated to the back and was searching for some kind of defense… only Alucard seemed to be unmoving._

"_Grace, calm down, I don't want to have to do this…" Walter's hands shifted, and light glared off some wires that were wrapped around his fingers._

_I tried to respond. I tried to say, 'I'm not panicking… what don't you want to do?' but nothing came out. In fact, I didn't even feel myself open my mouth. I reached to touch my face, but my arm wouldn't budge. There wasn't an arm to move…_

"_I finally recognized her the minute she entered the alleyway. Her traits were to hard not to pair with a past servant, and I figured… why not let her discover her true nature? It may prove to be entertaining."_

"_What do you mean, 'past servant'? Have you had fledglings before Seras that you've kept secret?" Integra questioned. Her expression mirrored anger. The girl's breathing could easily be heard, as if she were struggling. Wait, she was in the alleyway? The same one I was in, or after the incident?_

"_No Master, I haven't. However, I have had different sorts of slaves back in the day."_

_Integra seemed to let this go, and she looked at the girl as if seeing her in a new light._

"…_What is she," she asked, but the way it came out it sounded more as a statement. She looked at Alucard. "What has she become?"_

"_Well… they go by many names, as does my kind." He crossed his arms over his slouching torso. "But the most widely accepted today would be… werewolf." _

_I looked at it in horror. I couldn't see its face, but I could imagine shifty eyes, just waiting for the right moment to strike, to kill, to shed blood. Walter seemed to go stiff, and it was clear his mind wasn't in the present._

"_It would seem she doesn't even know we are talking about her…" Alucard inquired. He further inspected the girl with a simple tilt of his head._

"_What do you mean?" Seras asked. Dan's eyes never seemed to leave the girl's form, and it was starting to make me sick. He looked like he pitied it._

"_She hears us talking, but she hasn't quite grasped the fact that we are talking about _her. _In fact, she probably thinks we are talking of some random girl." He paused, and then talked into the atmosphere, "When in all honesty, we are talking of you, Grace."_

… What?

_The thing jerked, just like I had felt I was doing when Alucard said he was talking of me. It took a few more seconds to figure out… I couldn't even begin to think he was talking to me, he just said the thing was a werewolf; but the dreams…_

_He looked at Integra._

"_Would you like me to kill it?" I saw myself jerk again, and my fingers appeared to claw the air. _

_Her expression turned emotionless. The fact that she didn't answer right away was making me extremely uneasy, especially since I had already gone through a near-death experience this past week. She opened her mouth and I was dreading her decision, when the vampire interrupted her._

"_Or, do you want me to tame it…?" Everyone in the room looked at him in shock… save Walter who still wasn't with us. _

"_Is that even possible?" Dan asked, with slight, barely masked hope in his shaking voice. Alucard looked at him in annoyance._

"_Of course I can, I can do whatever I want," he replied. He talked like he was talking to a child, but at the same time he sounded like a child himself. He looked back to Integra whom was pondering this new information. She looked back at me. I was apparently breathing heavily and tremors were going through my body. It was so violent that I could feel it even in my out-of-body state._

"_Has a team already been dispatched for the mission you were supposed to be going on tonight?" she asked._

"_Naturally. I was planning on going later; I'm going to have fun tonight one way or another."_

_Sir Hellsing finally looked back at her servant, her eyes saying that her mind was made up._

"_Do what you will, but whatever your choice, don't leave a mess." My inexistent mouth gaped at her willingness to let me die. Then again, she was the boss of an organization that vowed to kill all things supernatural. Even so, it still hurt._

_She shifted and placed a hand on Walter's shoulder for the briefest of moments; it was enough. Walter blinked and looked around before quickly following the She-Knight out of the damaged infirmary, his shining strings disappearing. Alucard glared at Dan until the mercenary finally caught on to the silent command. He didn't move._

"_Out," Alucard growled. Dan winced but remained stationary. "Human, if you do not leave now, I will make sure your sleep is burdened with endless, merciless nightmares for the rest of your pathetic existence. _Out._" Even though nightmares really aren't that bad a punishment, Dan was out of the door before Alucard could finish. My eye twitched._

…You bastard… _If I made it out of here alive, I was going to kill that mercenary with his own gun._

_With everyone out of the room except Seras (and the doctor, but it wasn't like _he _could do anything), the vampire formerly known as Dracula shifted his attention to my quaking form. _

"_Oh goody, it seems I am now the master of an oblivious pup." _

_Seras looked between her Master and me in anticipation. She looked as if she wanted nothing to do with the situation, but she stayed put. Alucard went on,_

"_Time to tame the beast." He grinned. The physical me tensed. "Come; unleash all of that buried power you've kept sealed for so long!" He took out a gun. "Come on, attack me!" An inhuman growl irrupted out of me, and I saw myself crouch and spring right into a portal where Alucard should have been._

_Seras was shocked, but her loyalty disabled her from not interfering. With only slight hesitation, she leaped into the portal before it shut. Me, I had no choice. Against my will and despite the fact the shadowy, red and black portal was gone, I was soon transported into an open field outside the mansion._

_Multiple gunshots were already being fired, and blood had already stained the dew covered grass._

Elsewhere in the Hellsing Mansion~

"I… I don't get it, I thought they were extinct, how could she be… I mean, her parents were both human! Fucking human!" Daniel was silenced with a swift slap from Walter, who you couldn't even tell did it since he had already returned to his butler-like posture. Dan glared at the family servant and rubbed his face.

"There have been reports saying otherwise, them being extinct I mean. Information from anonymous victims tell that packs of rather large, malformed wolves have been showing up in small towns and villages all over Europe, Northern Asian, and the Americas. We ignored it seeing as it could have been familiars of some vampire and they weren't causing any mishap, but it seems that this event confirms it." Sir Integra turned away from the window and toward the gentlemen before her.

"The werewolf race is on the rise after supposedly being hidden for generations on end. Their intentions and their sudden openness are unexplained, yet they have given no reason for me to condemn them." She paused. "Such a predicament… The crown won't allow the organization to wait for the wolves to slaughter so we finally have reason to kill, and yet they may be followers of the same faith and are cursed innocents."

There was a moment of silence before Daniel spoke. "Is that why you gave Alucard the choice to let her live? You want to see how she acts after she's realized her true nature?"

"That's part of it, but what's more is I want to know how it's possible that she is one of them. I also want to know if I can use her to communicate with the rest of her kind, that is, if she can even be tamed and retain any humanity or saneness. I want her to be evaluated, her actions and personality may very well be like the rest of the wolves, and if she can be negotiated with, talked to even, then I may have a way to solve the werewolf dilemma."

"You're going to use her? She's a teenager-"

"She's a child and if she wants to live she will do what she is told… once again, we are assuming she can be 'kept'."

"That is cruel-"

"Such is life, Mr. Berk. I want to hear nothing more on the subject from you; as of now, you have no opinion on the matter." Her eyes penetrated his own and he bowed his head in defeat before walking out of Integra's office.

"And what about you Walter? Has this occurrence resurfaced old memories?" she inquired towards her faithful butler.

"Indeed it has. I'm eager to see how she turns out as well Sir. If she is anything as the Captain was, she will be loyal I assume. Literally like a dog to its master." He eyed her. "I have my suspicions that that is also a reason you allowed Alucard to 'keep' her." He grinned knowingly.

She grinned as well, regardless of the situation. "Your wisdom and your eye have only improved with age." She again turned back to her window overlooking the grounds for what felt like the umpteenth time that night. Walter walked up beside her and too gazed out at the sight before them.

"I now have a collection of supernaturals, both of werewolf and vampire. And, if all goes well, they are _both _for my use. With a curl of my finger, I have them at my beck and call.

The scene below was gory at best, the mindless girl crouching like an animal every time she pounced to strike with enlarged claws. Her clothing and bandages were all but gone; pieces clung to her body covering the more… 'private' parts. The skin that showed was caked in a thick layer of blood, and it was hard to say if it was all her own. Seras and Alucard stood on either side of her, him with his familiar, and her with a nothing but her own hands; both with the same look of deranged bloodlust and splatters of said blood on various places in their clothing.

Needless to say, with two against one and the two being _much _more powerful and well trained, Grace was beginning to look beaten to say the least. Each of her attacks became slightly more uncoordinated and careless, and her dodges or blocks gave her more injuries than if she took the hits head on. Every time she landed from an attack, she staggered unlike when the fighting began.

"When did they start?" Walter asked, referring to the descending battle.

"About ten minutes ago, soon after Mr. Berk stumbled in."

"Hm… it's lasting an awful long time; can she really be that strong?"

"Nonsense." She swirled around and got a cigar out from her desk drawer. She returned with a lit one and puffed out a cloud of smoke. "The point of this fight isn't to defeat the opponent as quickly as possible or even to toy with them before putting them completely out of their misery." She took another puff. "No, the purpose is to tire the opponent out, to break the fighters will and still be able to stand over them with your head held high; to inflict as much pain as possible without causing a final blow. That is how you tame something of paranormal stature."

As the girl in the field fell to her knees and panted her last fighting breaths; crumpled over in submission with every ounce of opposition gone, Integra glanced sideways at her thoughtful butler.

"That is how you break them."

**DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A REVIEW**

**A/N So… does youz likez itz? Noez? Yez? Zzzz? **

**I only got uno reviewo… Me es wants more. I lives off da reviews, I iz deprived equalz I losez my mindz… See?**

**IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO RANTING, SKIP DOWN TO WHERE YOU SEE ***  
****...*** xD**

**Anyways… *clears throat* do I really have to explain why this took so long? Yes. Yes I do. High school, clubs, games, laziness, one review/lack thereof, no time, tones of time but am too lazy, not feeling like it, the reasons are endless but for the most part I blame you (just kidding), because you, dear reader, must have a much better life than I do because no one reviews. (See what I did there? Now you get to stew in your own guilt xD)**

**As for the person who did review:**

Jillian: Ahaha, it's funny because I do the same thing for you readers xD Thanks for the review, when you screamed "AAaaaaaahh" I felt like you were a twilight fangirl (except better because Twilight is getting REALLY old, but if you're a fan, I apologize. If not… well then yeah) because it's 2 am and I'm too lazy to think of another-*slaps self in head* I felt as if you were a Hellsing fan girl who just saw Alucard walk by…. Yeah that'll work . (BTW, I'm assuming you are a girl cuz of the name, if not, once again I apologize.)

**Well… that was rather long and awkward… but that's just my tired 2 am self hyped up on a mixture of pixie stix and kool aid mix XD **

**They should make a rap out of that.**

… **Bye! REVIEW PLEASE**


	14. I Will Not Break

**What Once Was**

**Summary: I Will Not Break- So there I was, looking pathetic after having the snot beat out of me, and after informing where my loyalties are, he says 'Happy Birthday'. I could kill him.**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait ~ Yay, I actually got more than one review ^^ Okay… well… here you go :) Oh, and this one was made to the song "I Will Not Bow". Ironic, isn't it? This is kind of short, but I figure it's longer than a lot of other chapters out there so…**

**Warning: Language, violent scenes (though why you would be reading Hellsing if you didn't like violence is beyond me.)**

**Disclaimer: -sigh- If I owned Hellsing I wouldn't be writing about it in fan fiction now would I? I don't own any songs either, I'm not **_**that**_** talented.**

Chapter 14: I Will Not Break

All fell silent as my body fell to the crimson painted grass. Despite my state and the horrible pain I was going to be in when I actually returned to my body, I wasn't freaking out… which scared me.

Seras's eyes returned to their usual blue and her panting slowed to even breaths that she didn't need. Alucard's excited smile receded into a faded grin as he lowered his Jackal, and he approached my fallen form. My body, which by the way I still hadn't gained control of, was gasping uneven breaths. I had watched the fight unfold; seen how fast I had moved and recovered. I witnessed just how much I could take, and now I was looking at myself broken, no longer even able to twitch. The beating I had taken hurt even my subconscious form, everything was throbbing to my quickened pulse; I couldn't imagine how bad my counterpart must be feeling.

Reality felt as if it was going in slow motion, and Alucard approached my body. He stood there, looking down, now seemingly unimpressed.

"Get up, girl." I didn't—no, couldn't move, so my form remained on the ground in a heap. The world remained slowed down as Alucard lifted his leg and brought it into my gut. The scream that should have come never left my lips even though my subconscious form had felt the blow.

"Obey me, dog!" a gun shot rang out and I eyed the hole that was made mere inches from my head. My body twitched and struggled, attempting to sit up but failing miserably. And then there was another sound, so low I almost missed it.

I whimpered.

Seras's eyes softened only slightly before concealing the emotion at the sight of her scowling master. I looked at her and then at the master vampire in horror, as both faces were now hardened; either emotionless or disgusted. I couldn't blame them. As I looked at myself, a bloody mess on the ground, I couldn't help but think… how pathetic could I get?

_Whoa! Where did that come from? They just beat you into a bloody pulp and you are _agreeing _with them?_

_Um… no?_

"I will not say it again, on your feet!"

This time, my body did as it was told and stood… give or take a few tries over the period of a few minutes. It staggered once up—giving off the notion that I had been drinking—and slumped in front of Alucard; never meeting his eyes.

"My master has given me permission to keep you, filth. But, of course, who wants to own a dog that's afraid of his own tail, and bites the hand that feeds it?" I looked up at the vampire with my golden eyes (or at least my body did), unsure of what he was getting at.

"However… I've ruled over your kind before; a loyal race. Willing to die for those who command them, skilled fighters, too. Which are you, pup? Are you a scoundrel stray, unworthy of a master? Or are you a loyal servant, abiding me and my master's every whim, whatever it may be?" No answer came. I began to doubt that this form of me was unable to speak.

"Perhaps you need more motivation? Police Girl…" I briefly wondered who he was referring to, but Seras's perked up eyes answered my own question. A knowing look spread across her features before she approached me, unnoticed behind my back, and punched.

Hard.

My form doubled over, even more blood than I thought possible spraying out of my mouth, and in that instant I felt a pull. It was slight, but it was also there. Alucard nodded his head and Seras drew back her other hand and dealt another blow below my shoulder blade.

The pull was even more forceful this time, and I realized I was being drawn toward my body as if by gravity. Alucard narrowed his eyes and gave the slightest nod. With that, Seras pulled back, and released the most vicious kick I had ever felt onto the side of my head, knocking me to the ground. The pull was so strong; it wasn't even a pull anymore. I was falling sideways to my body, sucked through what seemed like a vortex of light and for a minute I thought I had died. I should be so lucky.

My eyes snapped open to find I was on the ground, looking at the world askew. I could smell the rusty scent I had come to know as life's liquid. The bleeding grass tickled my forehead, and I knew at once I was back in control of my body… what was left of it anyways. The pain of what had already been dealt slammed into me like a tidal wave, and I suppressed the urge to scream bloody murder. Instead, I settle for splurting more blood onto the already drenched ground.

"Finally decided to join us, did you?" He was knelt next to me his tattooed g gloves glowing inches from my face. I didn't see much else; the pain forbade me from making the slightest movement. Surely they had broken, torn, and busted every part of my anatomy.

"I hadn't… much choice…" I managed to gasp out. I saw his lips twitch into a smirk out of the corner of my eye.

"And yet, here you are. What is your decision, pup?" I frowned at the nickname he had taken up within the past five minutes before my thoughts drifted back to the pain that I felt even in places I didn't know I had— though it was starting to numb… I hope that that's a good thing… My mind snapped back to current matters, and I tried my hand at adjusting my position so I could see my attacker more proper before answering.

I noticed his hat and glasses were gone, and his face was expressionless, but Alucard's eyes betrayed his emotion of curiosity. My own eyes narrowed before I involuntarily scoffed, despite my condition, making him frown.

"After all these months of having nothing else but the Hellsing hospitality, even after what has happened, I would think you know where my loyalties lie." I decided the numbing pain was a good thing. It allowed me to speak. Alucard's smirk returned.

"Well pup, I should warn you. You aren't going to like the fulfillments that must be made for you to actually be bound to Master Integra." I frowned at this knowledge, not knowing that I was going to have physical ties instead of pure, infinite loyalty, but I thought better of it.

"It can't be worse than death. I'd like to see my 16th birthday." There was a hint of humor in his eyes then, and I wondered what was so funny.

"That reminds me…" he started, picking me up by what was left of my shirt collar. He set me on my feet and motioned for Seras to make sure I didn't fall; which of course meant she had my arm over her shoulder while I internally complained about the increasing pain in my legs.

"Happy birthday, wolf pup."

With that, he dissolved into dark shadows and in mere seconds there was nothing left at all. Seras and I were half way across to the mansion (I had to get my organs replaced… ok, I didn't but I looked like I was bathed in blood) before what Alucard said sank in.

"Is it really my birthday?" I asked quietly, more to myself than to anything else. I limped along for a few more strides, still hanging on to Seras, before she answered.

"This isn't my present to you, I swear." I appreciated her attempt at humor, and accepted her unsaid apology, but I was quickly falling into a depression and was starting to regret my decision. Alucard said Integra had 'allowed him to keep me'. What the hell was that supposed to mean? So she was basically saying, 'If you feel like it, go ahead and kill her'? I mean, I wasn't at all important to her organization and had caused unnecessary problems that would otherwise have been avoided, but still. Mom trusted me into her care, she accepted; doesn't that count for anything?

It was with that that I secretly made a second decision. I would play along. I would be their little 'pup' as Alucard so put it, but I could make it hell. I would carry out their every command, be it sending me through hell or high water, but I would make it hell for them. At the very least until my head stops hurting from the confusion of all of this.

I wonder if werewolves can go into post traumatic shock?

* * *

"WHAT. THE. FUCK!" My voice carried throughout the mansion.

"Miss Grace, please! We have to clean your wounds, they might get infected-"

"Since when am I a werewolf? A FUCKING WEREWOLF? WHO THE HELL DECIDES THIS SHIT!"

"Miss Grace! Please calm down, if your shock carries out it can lead to fatal consequences!"

I stared at him. I hated him. I hated his lab coat, and I hate this hospital gown he was making me wear.

"WHAT THE HELL WOULD _YOU_ KNOW ABOUT IT? HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF YOU?" The doctor fumbled with his washcloth that he was using to wipe away the caked on blood as he realized his mistake. He composed himself… or tried to, anyways.

"As a matter of fact I have-"

"I'm not talking about school-yard bullying, tough guy! I almost literally got speared with somebody else's BARE HAND. Like a shish-kabob! SHISH-KABOB! All I needed were the onions and roasted peppers! Hey, hey, hey, watch where you put your hand, you over confident ass!" Doctor Sherman frowned at this and continued to try to peel the blood off of my back. Believe it or not, I was on pills that were supposed to dull the pain and calm me down. Lucky for me, it actually dulled the pain.

"Well… it was terrifying at the time…" I made a spitting noise.

"Go suck it." I knew I was going to regret this all later. Around that time Dan finally showed up (or was finally authorized to come see me) either way, I was pissed at the world and more than anything wanted to make everyone else as miserable as I was… save Integra, she would get hers later.

"Thank god, Grace! I thought Alucard may have killed you-"

"Did he not?" I looked down at myself, mock-checking my alive-ness. He seemed stumped.

"Tell me Daniel, how do you feel about puppies?" I asked, faking sweetness.

"Um… I liked them as a kid…?"

"Me too." He looked at me questioningly.

"Of course, I never would have thought I would be one." Dan blinked.

"I wonder if I'm good with kids." He looked really confused now. Ha. Now he knows how I felt.

* * *

"Well master, she chose life, though her thought were mischievous on the way back to the mansion."

"Very good. And how is she now?" A shout emanates from the hospital wing.

"… It would seem she has gone into shock, Sir."

"I was afraid that might happen… Walter, have her things moved into the dungeon, and prepare a temporary schedule for her."

"Right away, Sir."

"Alucard?"

"Hm?"

"Your tactics were brutal, but you more or less tamed her. For that, I applaud you."

"I am glad I have pleased you, Master."

"Get that smirk off your face. What all did she say?"

"Something about how I should know by now where her loyalties lie despite everything that happened. She also mentioned wanting to live to her 16th birthday." Alucard lets out a small chuckle.

"Did you tell her?"

"Of course Master, I wished her a Happy Birthday!"

"… You sicken me."

"I know."

"What was her thought process, did you say?"

"She feels betrayed that you gave me permission to kill her, though she realizes the emotion is misplaces and ridiculous, and doesn't hold you against it."

"Is that so? All her family deaths must have rewired her brain and emotions then. Nonetheless, the outcome his unexpectedly good."

"I would like to say so."

"… You're just happy about having a pet dog."

"Pet wolf, the two are very different. Loyalty and aggressiveness are key, and wolves have more of both."

"Then this should be interesting."

"Very."

* * *

**A/N Last section was supposed to be all dialogue and no narration, it sounds better that way.**

… **I just want to dedicate this to a peer who committed suicide this month. This is the second within a year… **

**R.I.P. man, you'll be missed~**

**I'm going to put this on hold for a bit guys. I'm going through a bit of depression and I don't think I can write the way I'm feeling now… I hope you understand. The guy that died was a childhood friend. I'll update as I get to it, but I don't want people holding their breaths, not that they were in the first place.**

**Edit: Thanks to my lovely reviewers. Sorry that I didn't give feedback this time, but I thank you and you know who you are! 3**


	15. Strangers

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Hmm… it seems that writing makes me feel better, even if the stuff I right is somewhat depressing. Go figure.**

**Disclaimer: **

"**Hey look! A Twitard is sneeking into a Hellsing convention!" :L**

"**Ahhh! It mustn't taint the awesomeness with its sparkles! Kill it!"**

… **I am a disturbed person… And just for the record I have never been to a convention. More power to all of you that have *bows***

**Warning: Language… um… hm… I think that's about it this time.**

Chapter 15: Strangers...

*Location: Somewhere in Romania. Time: Unknown.*

"We've been scavenging around here for weeks. Someone has to tell him that if we don't move on, I'm going to kill him."

"Calm yourself, Flint, we've been through worse before. It's only a matter of time before he sees fit that we move elsewhere."

"He won't even let us eat whatever we want! I'm starved and sick of eating lowly deer a bears! It's like he's tempting us with the village dwellers, quite literally just beneath our noses!"

"I agree with Kaine. If he won't allow us to move on, then I vote for raiding the village. Our race wasn't meant to roll over and play against our instinct. That's almost as bad as saying we are human!"

"Master doesn't need this; if you are going to talk behind his back you should suck up your cowardice and say it to his face!"

"Maybe we will! After all, you Detas, would know more than anyone here!"

"That is irrelevant. Master knows what he is doing, leave him to his thoughts without your useless bickering."

"Useless?"

"Bickering?"

"You will do well to learn your place, omega; you are easily severed!" Laughter echoes throughout the men.

"And yet he is the most loyal here." The laughter dies down and dead silence reigns.

"Alpha Bonz… we meant no disrespect, it's just that the pack-"

"Was debating mutiny."

"No! Never…"

"Both of you, Flint and Demen, should learn your places in this pack. An omega knows better than my second in command, when to speak out. I expected better of you."

"P-perhaps if you enlighten us on your tactics? Why do we linger here, unable to feed to our hearts' content, burdened with the inability to do anything all day?"

"In the future, you should see to it that you don't question me… But as the whole pack is getting so damned antsy, I'll spare you the suspense. I had a relative- of which relations will not be shared- who disappeared a while back. His whereabouts are unknown, though I am almost positive he is alive and hiding. He was last seen with a human… and that human he had… 'relations' with. They bred a child; a daughter who's name and whereabouts are also unknown. My aim is to find one of them, preferably the girl. That is all I am willing to share, until further notice."

"Wait! What has this to do with us remaining here for so long? It's unusual for us to stay in one place for more than a few days. Why do we keep on here, at a long dead, bloodsuckers castl-"

"Do not, ever, insult Vlad Dracula. He is your reason for existence, you remember that."

"Ah! U-understood!" Demen is dropped to the ground, still clenching his injured throat.

"As for your question… do you remember the legends, the one of the wolf who stepped outside his pack to remain loyal to his creator?"

"Of course, all werewolves are lulled to sleep by that story as pups."

"It is more than legend, dear friends. Credincios, Din for short, exists. He is very real indeed, but like I said, his whereabouts are unknown."

"No, you said your family relation's whereabouts were unknown."

"Hm… I tire of your naïveness, Kaine. It's getting on my nerves." The men's superior walks away, his footsteps echoing off the castle walls.

"…What do you suppose that means?"

"Gentlemen… I do believe that all this time, we have been led by a living legend… or as close as you can get to one, at the very least."

**Name Pronunciations:**

**Detas: Day-tahs**

**Bonz: Bones**

**Demen: Deh-men**

**Credincios: Cred (Like Credit)-in-shohs**

**Din: Den**

**A/N: It's short, but I only updated a few, measly days ago. Tell me what you think, are you confused? You're supposed to get a little bit of it, the plot is unfolding!**

VladFan: Thank you for the review and sympathy, I needed it :) Also, I'm glad that you like the story and who knows, I may have to do some Alucard romance… you're the second who has asked xD Hope you stick with this!

**Thank you, reader, and also thanks to the people who favorite and alert this! The alerts and favs are stacking up :)**


	16. Severed Remainders

**What Once Was**

**A/N: Meh… tired….bored… should be doing the things I'm supposed to but I guess I've procrastinated this enough. Oh yeah, and I don't know if any of YOU have realized it, but this story is written like shit. I thought it was decent way back when I started it, but rereading it makes me laugh at how badly it was put together. It's inconsistent, both in plot and layout. I'm going to try to redeem it... Not by editing it, I'm too lazy, but just by being better. Unfortunately, the majority of this chapter was written during that 'suckish' period… Hopefully you'll be able to tell at what point I started writing it up again.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue/remove.**

**Warning: Adult humor, language**

* * *

Chapter 16: Severed Remainders

I lay in the bed, staring up at the ceiling trying my damnest to make imaginary pictures out of the wall texture.

"Grace, look I'm-"

"You are still not allowed to speak. Shush."

I had been at this for the past hour. Dan tries to apologize, I tell him to fuck off. Dan tries to cheer me up, I tell him to fuck off. Dan tries to get me to eat something, I attempt to bite his hand off. Not that I would, but the thought was amusing.

"Could you at least tell me why you're mad at me?" he rushed out in one fast breath in hopes to speak without interruption.

"I could, but it wouldn't change anything," I explained in a monotone, fidgeting with my hospital gown. Damn I hated that thing…

"Humor me." His serious tone made me involuntarily turn my head, which I soon regretted. The most sincere look lay on his face, and despite my mood I couldn't deny he deserved the 'truth'. So, I turned back to the ceiling, groaned, and explained through clenched teeth why I was mad at him.

"You are…"

"Yes?"

"An _extremely_ annoying human being. Dan, I appreciate your 'support' and all, but for fuck's sake, why do you _think _I'm mad at you?" Silence. "I'm still trying to process everything. You're constant lies and boundary issues aren't helping."

"… Boundary issues. Fine. You want elbow room? I'll give you elbow room." I didn't look at him as the scoot of a chair and vanishing footsteps signaled I was finally getting the peace I'd been wanting. I sat there, relishing the quiet. Or at least I tried. It wasn't five minutes before I started playing with the sheets. I huffed as I realized how pathetic I was being. I just won a battle for alone time, and now that I had it, I didn't know what to do with it.

"I need is something to do… that doesn't involve moving… or eating… or people… or thinking… or talking to myself… hell, I'm bored." I craned my neck to try to see the things that were behind me, and barely caught sight of the doctor turning his attention back to the work on his desk. I narrowed my eyes.

"What the hell are you looking at, you perverted quack?" I huffed out. He sighed and shook his head, obviously tired of hearing his new demeaning nickname.

"For the last time, miss. I have all of my degrees and am perfectly content with the wife I have."

"The last time I checked, there's not a degree in groping and I bet your wife is-"

"Leave my wife out of this!"

"-non-existent… jeez, what the hell crawled up your ass and died?"

He was fuming. Ah yes, making fun of the man who practically saved your life… twice. Smart.

"Miss, Grace, I would appreciate it if you would leave me to my work," he said, turning back to his computer.

"I can't walk yet, and if you want to watch your porno in peace there's a bathroom down the hall… I think." Did I just see an eye twitch? For a second, I thought his red face was about to make a comeback when he stood up, gathered his things, and left out of the hospital wing, which only added to the hilarity.

"Hey! Don't forget to clean up when you're done!" I called after him. I wasn't sure, but I think I heard him say something along the lines of 'killing insane danger magnets.' Then I realize something.

My object of entertainment was gone, and I was bored again. I looked around the room but saw nothing of interest. They apparently LOST my iPod, so listening to music was out, the only thing I could think of that came close to entertainment was throwing scalpels into the wall… which probably was a bad idea and I was told not to do it again.

Feeling defeated, I plopped my throbbing head back into my pillow, which seemed to make my neck happy.

"Damn it Alucard, you could have gotten your point across without hospitalizing me for three weeks… or could have at _least_ had the decency of killing me. It'd be faster than dying from boredom, anyway." Complete silence. I blinked once. Twice. Three times.

"Oh come on! Cut me some slack here, I'm a teenager for crying out loud! I need something to do. At least give me a Rubik's Cube, please? How about a Nerf gun? I could have a lot of fun with that… OH! No give me a _real_ gun. Then you won't have to listen to me complain anymore-" And then Dan walked back in, hesitantly, curiously, and rather annoyed. However, the first thing I noticed was how the pistol on his belt contrasted with his tan uniform. I stared at the equipment, long enough for Dan to feel uncomfortable, then I spoke again, facing the ceiling.

"I take it back. I don't want a real gun I want the ability to walk. If you can do that I'll go straight off the nearest cliff, promise. But it has to be within the next ten seconds." I waited.

"Uh… Grace-?"

"Shush!" I didn't need eyes to see his pissed glare.

"Your ten seconds are up, now give me that Rubik's Cube you promised me."

"I… I didn't promise you a Rubik's Cube?" Irritated, I looked in Dan's direction.

"I wasn't talking to you," I returned my attention sky-ward. "God, what a narcissist." I listened to him quietly argue with and compose himself with a few calming words. What a lunatic. Just look at him talking to himself… tut tut.

"_Anyways_… Integra wants to know if you can walk yet," came his question. I kept a steady gaze up while I replied.

"Why? Do you want me to walk off the nearest cliff?" I briefly glanced at him to see his reaction, and had to fight to conceal my laughter.

"What? Never mind, I probably don't want to know… Can you though?"

"Dunno. The duck ran off. You can try the bathroom, but I wouldn't recommend it." He stared at me blankly, probably trying to figure out the 'puzzle' in his head. Wow, and this moron homeschooled me. No wonder my grades were so bad.

"What's this about a duck? Why is it in a bathroom?"

"I don't know, I try not to think about ducks when they quack off." I waited. And waited. And finally, a look of realization crossed Dan's face before it twisted, unsure whether to laugh or gag.

"Grace, that's sick!"

"Ha-llo!" I gestured to my body. "What part of brutally turned inside out did the quack leave you out on? I'm obligated to be disturbing whenever the hell I want." He fake contemplated this before turning on his heel and walking out, only to return five minutes later, holding the doctor by his collar.

"I don't care if she makes fun of you! Suck it up, conserve whatever dignity you have left!" with that, Dan released quakers, whom gave a nice, long stare back at the mercenary. I decided then was a good time to break the silence.

"What do you think doctor? Will I ever walk again?" I asked in a fake, scared impression of a child. He turned his glare on me before walking over to my bed side and taking a few looks at the clip board positioned to my left.

"Well, Mr. Burke, I wrote down here a few weeks ago, that, judging by the rate she healed last time, she is supposed to be up and walking in about six days… though you can test it out now, if you'd like."

_Translation: I don't care if it feels if your legs have been skinned and demuscled, if you can do anything that even closely resembles walking, get the hell outta my infirmary!_

_Ah, yes. I've made so many friends._

"How 'bout it, Grace? Give it a go?"

"Meh," I mumbled "I feel like I'm two again. Next thing I know you'll be bribing me with cookies and ice cream." Dan made a face, to which I rolled my eyes. "Oh, lighten up." It was Dan's turn to roll his eyes, and he motioned me to try to stand. I knew I'd be able to, the bad pain went away a while ago, and the only pain left was just a noticeable throb. Nonetheless, I decided to go with the theatrical route, and carefully swung my legs over the side of the so called 'bed'. Gently, I lowered my feet to the floor, only to hiss and pull them back up.

Dan, the guy he was, spoke up before I had a chance to explain, "Does it hurt?"

I continued looking at the floor, willing it to die… if floors _could_ die. "No, but it's _cold_." Quakers turned around throwing his head back in frustration and his hands on his hips. I personally thought that made him look a little gay, but whatever. Dan and I watched him vent, and with a hand running through his hair, the doctor managed to spit through his teeth, "Just get up, get out, I don't care if it _does_ hurt! Get your complaining, sorry ass out of my hospital!"

_Well, the wording was a little different but the idea was the same… Ha, he thinks he owns a hospital. Idiot._

I glared at him, but decided not to go with the witty come back I had in mind. Instead, I finished what I started; I finished my descent to the ground, wincing slightly at the intensified headache and sore muscles. Dan, who was skillfully containing his snickers, led me away into the hall. His body started shaking the moment we left, his laughter rolling off him in waves. I only smirked, taking slight amusement in the doctor's outburst.

"Somebody's on his period…" I mumbled under my breath, barely enough for the mercenary beside me to hear. This only caused him to laugh harder. How professional of him. Nonetheless, I responded with a full-fledged smile, however sinister it may have looked.

"We're going to have to get you into better clothes, if you can call those clothes," Dan said after having his humor fix.

"You can't."

"Agreed." So, we walked quickly to my room, I only having a slight limp. When we got there, I noticed it was a little bare; it didn't look like I had left it. Daniel explained to me that my room was moved, but he wouldn't tell me where. There were still a few of my clothes in the drawers, so I grabbed myself a simple shirt and sweat pants. I still had to wear loose clothes so they wouldn't mess up my few remaining bandages, or restrain my movement. I decided I still wasn't presentable enough, so wet down my hair a bit and bulled it back into a loose pony tail. That was about all I could do though, so with a dissatisfied sigh, I allowed Dan to lead me to Integra's office.

I barely noted the halls Dan led me down. It's not like I would need to remember the layout, if real werewolves were anything like they were in films, I'd be able to smell my way around… hopefully. Hopefully werewolves liked to live up to their stereotypes. I wasn't really feeling any different just then, but then again I _was_ still on quite a few drugs. In any case, if I never gained heightened senses, I'd just end up asking vampy. He seemed to know more about my … 'condition' than I did.

It didn't matter at the time. By then we were in front of Integra's door, and I found myself a little nervous. This was, after all, the woman who might as well have sentenced me to death. But what was I worried about? She probably just wanted to talk about that 'bonding' thing Alucard had mentioned. Heh, that little thought was supposed to calm me, but it just ended up sending a whirlpool of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I almost gulped. Almost.

Apparently, Daniel had already knocked on and opened the door. I was just standing in the doorway like an idiot, with Dan gesturing me to walk through. I didn't see Integra at that point; she was hidden behind the threshold.

My eyes focused back on the task at hand. As fast as I could manage, I recomposed myself and strode into the she-knight's office with as much confidence as I could muster. Unfortunately, if I had a tail I'm sure it would have been between my legs. How ironic.

"Reporting Sir!" Daniel gave a little salute, but I hadn't even the courage to look into those glacier-like eyes. Not yet at least. I just settled with standing straight, arms across my chest, and head pointed down. So much for confidence.

"At ease."

It was quiet and I was beginning to get even more uneasy. I wondered if she was waiting for me to look up? Was I showing signs of weakness? Would this bonding thing _hurt_? I almost laughed at that. I had already been through hell, there was little she would be able to throw at me that wasn't worse than the beat down Alucard gave.

"You might as well speak, Master. As far as I can tell, that is her submitting posture, though I may be wrong. It has been a long time since I've dealt with her kind, after all."

My head snapped around to look at a silhouette of darkness against the wall, red eyes and pearly, shark-like grin included. His whole form stepped into the office, but I looked away before he pulled his last foot through.

"Very well. My servant brings me word that you, Grace, have accepted my 'offer'. Is this true?"

Eyes still casted downward, I silently scoffed at her use of the word 'offer'. I didn't bring it up of course, I wasn't that stupid. But… if I was going to ask a stupid question, I might as well ask the stupider of the two I had in mind.

"You told me that I was to get up and out of the hospital… to ask if I decided to live?"

No answer.

"I figured you could have concluded that by the fact that I'm not dead. Even so, couldn't you ask me any of the three weeks I was bed ridden?"

"You seem to be under the impression the world revolves around you. Believe it or not, Miss Rockwell, I have my own life that needs living."

Behind the mask of my expressionless façade, I was more or less cussing out everyone in the room… short of Walter, who hadn't said a word since I had walked in. She thought that… that I thought the world revolved around me? Are you freaking kidding me?

I narrowed my eyes, though no one was able to see. "Pardon," I said through clenched teeth.

"If you have not noticed already Miss Rockwell, I am almost quite literally up to my eyes in paper work, as they say. I'm sure that you may have expected otherwise, which is probably the reasoning for your narcissism."

My eyes were blazing, I could feel it. Why, I couldn't answer, I just knew my anger was building. Was she trying to make me pissed? Something told me yes, and that fact alone confused me. Unable to control myself, I allowed my head to level with hers and eye contact was made. I could have sworn I saw the remains of a smirk before she flawlessly wiped away the evidence. This fed my fire even more, and my arms tensed, hidden fists showing signs of clenching.

"Narcissism," I repeated, the word rolling off my tongue despite its bitterness. Every bone in my body wanted me to scream it, to spit the word away, but I couldn't allow myself that pleasure. I had loyalties… and life, to think about after all.

"Yes, narcissism. Should I find you a dictionary?"

If anyone had heard a snap, and had asked me about it, I would have told them not to worry. It was just my sanity and self preservation cutting the ropes that attached it to the rest of my mind.

"Keep your dictionary, bring me an Encyclopedia…" I felt myself turn murderous… "Because I'm going to beat your brains out with it!" Her smirk returned as I attempted to rush forward, but someone took my arms into a lock hold behind my back. Try as I might I couldn't break free.

"Oh good, I see you didn't completely break her." Integra eyed Alucard, who stood behind me.

"What can I say? I like my dogs with a little fight in them."

"So it would seem. Well, at the very least she will be of some use in the field, I hope. Her display with you and Seras proved that much. Who's to say she won't turn on us?"

"I already told you master, she agreed to the binding." Her mischievous smirk turned into a knowing smile.

"I'm well aware. But what's with this little exhibit of violence towards her new master?"

My eyes snapped away from Seras—who had been hiding and was currently trying to keep me from murdering her master's master—to the woman behind the oversized desk. I figured if I put all my energy into it, I could escape the vampire behind me, jump over the fortress of a desk, and use the encyclopedia set I mentioned to beat her to a bloody pulp.

"What! New master my ass! Who the fuck do you think you are? Narcissism? Narcissism! You, Sir, have got to be fucking kidding me! Let's see how _you_ like it when someone beats you down so hard you can see your blood-spurting _heart _that's still _beating_! Let me go you shitty piece of a bloodsucking ass kisser! I'LL KILL YOU!"

_Where the fuck did that come from?_

The look of shock on her face was priceless, and had I not been in a murderous rage I would have rolled on the floor laughing at the face Walter was making. But good things never last as long as they should, and soon she composed herself enough to make a comeback.

"I'd like to see you try, wolf. The way I see it… no, the way everyone else in this room sees it, you are a stray dog without me. I'm sure Alucard already talked you through the loyalty lecture. I keep you alive, wolf. My job is to protect humanity, and you are a threat to that goal. Your threats towards me only push you towards death."

I was no longer struggling, but I was throwing some hateful looks the lady knight's way. She stood up and walked around her desk to stand in front of me, daring me to extend my foot and kick her.

"Now, I must ask again because of the vile threats and insults you've displayed. Have you accepted the offer, in which case I _will_ in fact be your master, and you would be my _loyal_ servant?"

I didn't say anything. I really hated the way she worded things, but I figured I might as well give some sort of answer.

"I'm assuming the alternative is death?" I asked tensely, more as a statement than a question.

"You assume correct."

_Some guardian…_

I let out a scoff and dropped my head. "Typical…" I knew she was still waiting, so I let out another sigh and gave her an answer.

"You make it sound so demeaning, but I suppose pride doesn't become part of the equation until later. Fine. I accept your offer." I was looking up at her now, my back as straight as it could be with Seras still restraining me.

"Good. Perhaps in the future, when your services are no longer needed by myself nor my successor, you will be able to 'leave', if that brings you any solace. Until then, you will start by paying me back for the grocery items and blood supply you wasted during your stunt in the museum. If you pass the test, that is. Understood?"

_So… this binding thing is a test?_ I nodded my understanding, and in return Integra nodded towards the vampires behind me. I turned to look at the stronger of the two, and he was on his way out of the room… by foot? Blasphemy.

Still with a cautious iron grip, Seras nudged me to follow Alucard. Walter went in the direction of the kitchen and Hellsing turned back to whatever the hell it is that she does. As we walked, it dawned on me that he was probably leading me to this… binding thing. But wait, wasn't Integra needed for that? Even with that question in mind, my anxiety soon got the better of me. Sure, I had previously broken every bone in my body, extending my pain tolerance to heights I didn't think possible, but that didn't mean I was a hardcore masochist. My head and right leg throbbed as if to prove my point.

"Your bonding will be quite different than mine was, mainly because you are only a half-breed and wouldn't be able to stand it," Alucard's deep voice interrupted my thoughts.

I nodded, even though his back was turned, and then focused on the walls. I never before realized just how interestingly textured they were. Then again, it was pretty rare that I was in this much need of a distraction.

We walked throughout the manor, and after awhile I deducted we were headed towards the basement. Why?

Too soon I was faced with the exaggerated darkness and overall hopeless feeling of the dungeon halls. Alucard's last sentence to me was the only thing he said on the subject. Perhaps he figured my lack of a verbal response meant I was in no mood for conversation? Smart man. But then, it would be very bad for England's defense against the undead to be stupid, wouldn't it?

"In here," he said over his shoulder, opening one of the doors and stepping into the black room. Whether I wanted to or not, Seras made me follow and the door closed behind us, killing off any light there still was in the hallway.

Seras' grip left my arm, and footsteps led away until all my senses were useless, except for the ones I didn't care for at the moment. Like smell, and touch. The dungeons had the strangest smell to them, entirely unpleasant, not to mention how cold it was.

Silence.

"Um… hello?" I cursed myself when my voice shook a little. Now was not the time to appear weak.

No one answered. The hell?

I stayed still for a moment more before taking a bold step forward, and then another, and another. I only took five steps before I ran into the room's far wall.

"…O…kay…"

Had they left?

"Hello?" I said again, more soundly this time. Still no answer. I followed the wall with my hand until I felt a smooth surface, a contrast to the uneven stone the room was made of. Unfortunately, the door was metal. Never an inviting sign.

And it was locked.

_Is this a joke?_

"In no way am I joking, pup." His voice was loud, even though it was coming through the heavy duty door.

"Then what _are _you doing?" I demanded as I once again tried the handle.

"Following orders," he replied simply.

"You're locking me up?"

"Put simply, yes."

"… Why?"

"You don't know what day it is, do you?"

I halted in my fiddling with the door handle. Why did it matter what day it was?

"… Thursday?"

"No."

I waited for him to continue, but there was only silence from the other side.

"Friday?"

"It's the full moon, tonight, pup. With any luck, your full awakening will follow tradition." I didn't like the sounds of that. At all. Not if it meant what I thought it meant.

"And you need to be in your truest form in order to properly give your servitude to my Master. Not only will your wolf show your true colors, it will decide for you whether you are truly loyal to Master Integra, and the best part is…" I don't know how to explain it, but I could _feel _him smirking. It gave me the creeps. "… You won't get a say in the matter."

"What do you mean?"

"Your change is going to be brutally painful. And you don't get to decide whether or not you are going to change, it's already been set into motion."

_... There goes all hope of this thing going over peacefully and painlessly… _

"Set in motion?"

"You ask too many questions. Figure it out yourself; you'll have plenty of time before the moon is at its brightest. And don't worry, you'll know when it's about to come… it will feel as if all of your bones are breaking, healing and re-breaking at the same time… because that's exactly what will be happening."

No matter what else I shouted through the door, I didn't get anymore replies. Alucard was gone… the bastard. But… what did he mean by 'It will decide for me whether I am truly loyal'? Was it really necessary that I be kept inside this room until midnight, which is when I assumed the moon would be at its brightest?

I gave one last futile bang on the door before sinking to the floor. I didn't even know what time it was, just that it was still relatively light outside, and that was just judging by what was streaming through the windows before we had entered the basement.

_How long is this going to take?_

I let my head fall back and hit the door behind me.

"I think I prefer the infirmary. However dull it is, it's better than this…" I grumbled into the darkness.

With nothing better to do, I stood up and again walked to the far side of what was most likely a cell. Instead of taking a left though, like I did on my search for the door, I took a right while dragging my hand on the wall. Six steps and my toe hit something solid.

_Decent sized cell, if that's what it is. At least it's not puny._

I sighed once again and plopped down right there in the corner, hugging my legs to my chest. It was fucking freezing, but then I wasn't expecting it to be comfortable. Dungeons usually aren't comfortable… obviously I couldn't speak from experience then, but I can now.

I had nothing to use to pass my time. I hadn't thought to put anything into my pockets when Dan and I were going to speak with Integra, not thinking I'd need anything. I wished I had at least packed a flashlight, even if it would have looked stupid bringing one to the meeting. I literally couldn't see _anything, _and it was unnerving. The only things my eyes were picking up were the splotches of color everyone sees when they either close their eyes or stare into blackness. It was pissing me off, because the only thing I was able to see didn't actually exist.

I set my mind to fiddling with my leg, the one that still hurt. If I pushed on the right place long enough, it hurt like hell before it numbed. And then I'd pull my hand away and relish in the strange relief of having the pressure remove before starting over again. It was stupid, and probably not healthy, but I couldn't think of anything better.

"Ah! Damn!" I had pressed a little too hard, making my leg do a little muscle spasm and a remaining cramp strained my calf.

"What are you doing?"

My head snapped to the left where the voice had come from. Was I not alone in the cell?

"Um…" I didn't know what to say. It sounded like a female voice, but… Was there another prisoner in there with me?

"It's Seras," the voice said. I breathed out a sigh of relief. Who knows what kind of nasty person it could have been had Seras actually been some weird supernatural prisoner long forgotten and locked up here years ago, never to see the light of day again. Look at me, I'm thinking in run-ons. That's how you know I'm freaked out.

"Oh thank God…"

"Master told me to keep an eye on you. He said you'll get destructive urges before… you know."

Despite knowing it was only the vampiress, who when unprovoked I heard was pretty much harmless, her voice still sounded eerie when I couldn't see where it was coming from.

"Oh… you don't have any missions, or something?"

"Not today."

Not very talkative. I'd never really gotten the chance to talk to her, though. The only times I'd really seen her were just 'passing-by' moments, or when she and Alucard were… what was he calling it? 'Taming'? Whatever Alucard's sick name for the beating, her part in it probably doesn't motivate casual small talk with me… that and the insults I threw at her earlier.

"I'm sorry about back there, in the office. I didn't mean it."

"Don't worry about it. They were _trying_ to make you fly off the handle. Sir Integra isn't ignorant enough to truly think you were being narcissistic."

I groaned at the stupid memory. "Did I really threaten to use an encyclopedia set for murder?"

I heard a quiet giggle. "Yes."

"Well, now I feel stupid. What a lame threat." She didn't reply this time. I suppose she didn't have any comments, but I wasn't done talking. I was still in the dark on a few things. No pun intended.

"Hey… did they tell you why I needed to be down here now? While it's still light out?"

"No, they didn't."

_This is idiotic. _

"So we have to wait down here for hours in nothing but darkness, even though the thing we're waiting for won't happen 'til around midnight, and we haven't been given a reason?" I huffed out. I couldn't help myself. I was whining.

"Might as well get used to it now, you get a lot of orders around here, and you're expected to carry them out without question." I'll be honest, I was a little surprised at the slightly acidic tone in her voice. Was I annoying her? Or does she not like stupid questions?

She sighed. "Sorry… Master's rubbing off on me."

I stayed quiet. For a long while, neither of us talked. The only sound was my breathing, which was slightly faster than normal as a result of the cold. I hugged myself tighter, hoping to draw a little heat from the small amount of friction, but it proved useless. It didn't help that my shirt was short sleeved. And that I was shoeless.

I let out a shaky breath, despite my attempts to keep it steady. I couldn't help it. I'd only been in the room for half an hour, tops, and I was already miserable from the cold. It made me feel so pathetic.

"Here," Seras said, and I jumped at how close the voice sounded. It was like she was right in front of me, and I didn't even hear her move. When my only response was to stare into the darkness at where I assumed she was, she sighed and something fell against my legs.

"It's a blanket. You're cold, aren't you?"

Hurriedly, I took up the thing and wrapped it as tight around me as I could. It smelled of mold, dust, and decay, but I figured that wouldn't matter, soon enough.

"Thanks," I expressed my gratitude for the gesture, but was met with silence.

After a few minutes, her voice came from the darkness, back at its original position to my left. "You… can't see in here can you?"

"No."

"Oh… I just thought that… well..."

I knew what she meant, and to be honest, my ability to have perfect vision in the dark, at that point in time, wasn't at the top of my priority list. Sure, it would have been nice, but I think I was more concerned with the 'awakening' Alucard had talked about. If _he _said it was going to be painful, then I was in for a long, rough night. Unfortunately, Seras didn't seem to know anything on the subject.

_But she does know what to expect _after_wards._

"Seras, what do you usually do?" I asked, quite suddenly.

"What?"

"I mean… what do you think I'll be expected to do?"

She took a moment to think. "Um… well, missions I suppose. Fighting off any undead that are still around. We still see the occasional Nazi vampire, here and there."

"_Nazi _vampire?"

"It's a long story. To put it into one sentence, the last war involved more than corrupt, power hungry politicians."

"… But _Nazi _vampires?"

She sighed, perhaps out of frustration, I couldn't really tell. "Yes, Nazi vampires. And there was one werewolf, too. We thought he was the last of them."

This was news to me. Obviously. How could I have known about the supposed 'last werewolf' when I hadn't even known about the war? Normally, I would have been curious, and asked more. But the tone of her voice… it just kind of gave off this 'warning' vibe, and I had a feeling the war was a touchy subject for her.

The blanket, however awful smelling it was, finally started to serve its purpose. The cold of the room wasn't quite as harsh as it had been moments before. The silence of the room played an illusion on my ears, and I could hear a ringing sounded between the occasional dripping of some far off liquid. The darkness had me thinking that my eyes weren't closed, but in several instances they snapped open at some sudden sound, be it the liquid or what might have been a rat. My confusion and questions dissolved along with my consciousness, and I fell asleep in the dungeons.

* * *

_The moon trailed its illuminations across the sand, growing brighter and even casting dim shadows as the hours passed. The natural satellite was complete that night; neither a sliver nor a slim circle, but full. It played games with the waves licking at the shore, and every so often it would break free from its cloudy captors, only to be pulled back behind the thick grey curtains. The sea shimmered whenever the light was able to break through, and the figure standing upon the jagged rocks lining the water stared out into the depths. His coat fluttered in a sudden gust of wind, and he turned towards a distant tree; the thing was groaning and howling at the strength of the draft. The man returned his gaze back to the waters when the tree finally settled, but the howling continued. _

_A scream from up the cliffs. Echoing laughter. Snarls. This is what the full moon brought upon the cursed. Blood lust and an __insatiable need for violence. That was probably their third victim in a single moon. But how could he refuse them their pleasures on their most uncontrollable night?_

_Even the great Alpha of the Romanian pack knew better than to get in the way of his underlings when they became so ruthless. Bonz was not one to deny a pack as strong as his on the night of a full moon, especially when he himself could feel the pull of temptation the screams held. Several times he had caught himself from returning to the castle to join them, but he knew better. The full moon may be a time for the inner beast to come out and play, but it is also a critical moment for new lurkers to greet the world of darkness._

_The Alpha folded his arms across his chest and set his jaw. "Where are you?" he said, as if to the waves. Another breeze picked up the tail of his coat, and a particularly large wave crashed against the rocks, sending a thick mist of liquid salt his way. The werewolf grimaced at a scar of light far off into the sea, on the other side of the shore._

_Even the elements were mocking him._

_He was relentless. Wave after wave soaked through his clothes, each one increasing in power. His eyes, however, stayed locked on the large sphere in the sky. _

_His eyes widened suddenly and a shiver ran down his spine. The moon broke through the clouds once more, raining down its unusually brilliant glow. To the untrained eye, the moon would look like it always had. But to one who spends their nights observing it, practically obsessing over it, the pulsing luminosity was easily seen. His brown eyes melted black before swirling into the shining gold hue of the inner beast, and he turned to face the Northwest, his vision searching for something he knew he was nowhere near._

_The Alpha's lips twitched, and before long he had a full, menacing, fanged grin that not even the raging sea spray could alter._

"_You will not elude me for much longer, brother. You will be found, and she _will_ be mine."_

* * *

The young Draculina watched apprehensively as the girl in the corner began to stir restlessly; each moment her spasms grew more and more violent. She could even hear the girl gritting her teeth and unconsciously pulling the blanket tighter around her body. The vampire could sense that it was getting close, even without the obvious signs. Grace squeezed her eyes and arched her back forward, slamming her head against the way, causing a small crater-like dent. A sickening crack came from within her, and when Seras saw the first signs of the bone structure moving, she made for the door and stood guard in front of it.

A dark presence filled the room, but Seras knew her master would not yet make his appearance. That would not stop him, however, from getting a front row seat.

_And so it begins._

**A/N: Forgive me for any spelling mistakes in this one. I read it through enough times within the past year that I've just grown so sick of it. Hopefully the next chapter will be out soon, this story is finally picking up to the pace I wanted it to be.**


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